Should grandparents have the right to access their grandchildren if the parents don't want this?

[Life2Short4Nonsense]

Came across a discussion about the rights of grandparents to see the grandchildren if this goes against the parents' wishes.

Should grandparents be able to use the courts to get access to their grandchildren or should the parents be able to decide, as long as they are fit parents?

YABU: Grandparents should have the right to have access, unless a judge decides otherwise.

YANBU: The parents should decide, unless the parents are unfit to parent.

You have never met my DH though. DH dad died of cancer at 26 years old in 1983. DH had a very good relationship with his grandparents (dads parents) and saw them every week. It started out that he went for lunch every Sunday to give his mum a few hours to herself and continued right through his teens and into adulthood. Later on it would also include watching the football on tv with his grandparents both midweek and weekend games and sometimes going for dinner rather than lunch. His grandfather died in 2010 and he still saw his grandmother every week until she chose in 2016 to move 400 miles away to be closer to her daughter. He still text his granny nearly every day and phoned her at least once a week. We also traveled down to see her twice a year for a long weekend and she traveled up and stayed with us at least once a year. Granny died in April 2020.

My 19 year old and 13 year old often choose to spend time with my dad. And my mum when she was alive.

i have several friends at work with teenage grandkids who choose to spend time with them.

Its not that unusual

I would worry about this from a practical perspective besides everything else. It's hard enough for many RPs to facilitate frequent contact with NRPs and still schedule activities, playdates and parties for their DCs. Imagine having to fit family life around another set in stone commitment to see grandparents. And will the court order parents to share transport etc.? You might get a situation where parents never get a free weekend with their kids, and kids can't do weekend activities or attend their friends' parties.

Check out this thread for an example. It seems fairly split in terms of who thinks op is to blame and who thinks the parents but almost universal in agreement that to prevent her son from continuing to see them would be absolutely wrong.

I have read me own thread, but I haven't seen any specific examples of parents being in the wrong. There are, however, quite a few examples of toxic grandparents who put their own kids through hell.

The current law deals with this quite well I think. Grandparents can apply to the court for leave (permission) to make an application. That is a filter before the substantive application is made.

In the majority of cases the parents are making child focussed decisions. But there are some sad situations where a parent has died and the remaining parent has ceased contact with the deceased parent’s family. That is potentially a significant loss to the child and it is right that in such circumstances there is the option of the grandparents making an application for permission.

These “leave to apply” applications are not limited to grandparents. I have known separated step patents who were effectively a psychological parent and adult siblings use them too.

The circumstances where such orders are justified are rare. But they do occur.

Grandparent here. It is 100% a matter for the parents.

No

I am a foster parent, and while the birth parents imo often don't deserve access to their dc, the children are entitled to have (safe) access to their parents where possible. I feel the same way about grandparents, children should be allowed to have a relationship with them if at all feasible.

Would that include parents being vendictive? That my experience

I am a grandparent who is not being allowed to see my granddaughter it is not always the case that the grandparents have done anything wrong most of us anyway. I haven't seen my Gd for 12 months I miss her to the point my heart is breaking this is because the mum is using her as a weapon which I asked her not to do when she split with my son. I used to be allowed to see her whenever I was allowed to have her at weekends and take her to the beach,I helped my sons ex out when she didn't have any food in so I would go and get her some shopping in. Now she has a newan who is pathetic and a waste of oxygen is her mouthpiece and what he says goes, so all contact stopped a month into her new relationship, now she has my granddaughter calling this Ahole daddy which cuts deep this has affected my son deeply.
Other things have gone on where I have phoned the police and social services three times to no avail. Now I don't know what I can do to be able to see my Gd.
My point is it isn't always the grandparents.

Why doesn’t your son facilitate contact?

Is your son not involved in the child's life?

We have stopped my husbands mum access to our children for many different reasons. Just the thought of her being able to have a right to access terrifies me 😂 so no I don't think grandparents should be able to. Most people wouldn't stop access to family unless there is a very valid reason.

No

He isn't allowed too see her either and it's really hurting him but he has spoken to solicitors but the money it costs is just ridiculous and I know what people are going to think that you'd pay whatever it took to see his daughter but he just doesn't have that sort of money and neither have I,
I have told him I'll help as much as I can but he is depressed and withdrawn due to this situation as she is a daddies girl.

It costs £255

He hasn't managed to scrape together £260 to get an arrangement order in place in the last year?

If he's that low income I think you can even apply for help.

Social services don't help there was a few issues that needed to be sorted out with my gds mum and her new partner such as cannabis use and lock knives being in her home and social services did nothing i even phoned the police nothing was done i did this for the safety of my gd

As she won't speak to my son and she has a new partner and so she's not going to speak to my son

We've never heard of an arrangement order or he would off scrapped together 260 pounds. We was told he would have to get a court order which is alit more than £260

All he had to do was a 5 second Google and the information comes right up.

It doesn’t sound like he’s tried to see her at all. The £255 is for a court order. I guess he would have know if he had spent 5 minutes on google

Absolutely not, no.

The grandparents don’t have responsibilities so they definitely should have rights.

Only the child has rights, but the parents have responsibilities which means they are the ones who take the decisions - unless there’s some very good reason like neglect, abuse etc which means the authorities/ court have to step in.

Can't you see her when your son has her though?