Should grandparents have the right to access their grandchildren if the parents don't want this?

[Life2Short4Nonsense]

Came across a discussion about the rights of grandparents to see the grandchildren if this goes against the parents' wishes.

Should grandparents be able to use the courts to get access to their grandchildren or should the parents be able to decide, as long as they are fit parents?

YABU: Grandparents should have the right to have access, unless a judge decides otherwise.

YANBU: The parents should decide, unless the parents are unfit to parent.

I don't think this is up to the parents, the grandparents are the child's relatives too. In many cases the grandparents are more loving and reasonable then the parents! It isn't up to parents to deny their child their family

In my experience, parents who try to prevent grandparents seeing their children usually have a good reason for it.

A parents primary purpose is the well being of their children. If they don't believe their parents (the child's grandparents) are a positive influence in their lives, then they shouldn't be made to introduce them.

If one parent isn't involved (widowhood or being a loser, which are two completely scenarios but have the same result) then I don't think the parent doing the actual patenting should be allowed to dismiss the other family out of hand and a third party might be needed to determine best interests.

This.

I think I’ve pretty much come to the conclusion that people can be shocking arseholes. In general children should be kept away from negativity. If parents / grandparents can’t get along then then the person/ people they live with gets final say.

I remember a friend trying to keep up with her ex in laws. He had no contact/ paid no maintenance but they’d snipe at her dcs clothes / shoes. Why doesn’t mummy buy you nice things when she gets lots of money from the government to look after you? Unsurprisingly when contact was stopped they badmouthed her all over the place.

No of course not. Children are the responsibility of their parents (usually) and nobody else should be able to force themselves into their lives.

The person with rights is the child.

Everyone else has responsibilities.

The child should have a right to see GPs and other relatives- if it is in the best interests of a child.

Court will grant that - if in the best interests of the child.

This 💯

I don’t think many people are cutting off grandparents, or any type of support and family for their children, without good reason.

No.

Yanbu as someone who doesn't allow my toxic family near my ds. If you can't behave yourself then you've no business around my child. It's my job to protect him

It very much depends on the circumstances. Grandparents have the right to take it to a Family Court, and they then decide.

But is it in the best interests of the child that the parent has to engage a lawyer and put emotional and financial energy into a court battle to prove it is not in their child’s best interests to see the GPs? I can see this from both sides, I’d be devastated if DD had a child I was not allowed to see, but I still think it should be her choice.

I am NC with my father. He has never met DS. My father did not abuse me but I strongly believe he would be a negative influence on DS if he'd been present in our lives. He is a liar and a thief, has been in prison many times, takes drugs and has kept guns in his home. Plus has 5 kids with 4 different women that he never paid a penny for.

Thankfully he doesn't care about his kids or grandkids and has never tried to get in touch.

I think generally speaking parents make decisions bases upon what is right for their child.
However, I don't think it's right if a couple separate that either grandparents get cut off also, providing of course that they are neutral and will add value to their grandchildren lives. I've witnessed a few occasions where a couple have separated and the dad no longer has contact, but because of his actions, his parents have also suffered and no longer have access to their dgc, which is sad.

Its a tough one. Why parents would not want the contact? Has one parent remarried and now doesn't want to do much with the ex's side of the family? Then GPs should still have their rights. Or have GPs been abusive parents themselves? Then its a safeguarding issue.

Of course it is! Parents have parental responsibility and therefore have the legal authority to decide on their children's behalf.

Obviously there are situations where parental negligence means the grandparents should be involved for the children's sake, but if typical parents with no caring issues deny grandparents seeing their DC, it's usually with very good reason and because of toxic behaviour.

No of course they shouldn't have rights to see them...the courts have enough to do dealing with parents...

This! I never left my kids alone with my mother for good reasons and then eventually went NC with her. My youngest doesn't even remember her. My older 2 do and never want anything to do with her.

My nephew ended up in A&E one night because of an injury caused by her. No court in the world would force me to allow her access (2 are adults now anyway).

A lot of people are related to a single child. Just because they share genes doesn’t give them the right to contact. If you give grandparents that right, that means potentially aunts, uncles, cousins, etc etc. whoever has parental responsibility should get to decide until the child is legally able to themselves.

I've voted YANBU, but I think it depends on the previous relationship with the dcs. If the dcs and GPs were really close or dcs even lived with them for a time, and assuming they had a food relationship, then I think it's probably of benefit to the children to continue having that relationship with the GPs.

So I vote for yanbu unless not having a relationship with their GPs would be of detriment to the dcs.

Edit to add: it shouldn't be about the rights of the adults. It's more about the rights of the children. So whichever benefits them the most. So having a relationship with abusive, horrible gps clearly won't benefit the dcs, but a close bond and healthy relationship with them would benefits the children.

Then that can be decided by a judge.

More likely the parents and grandparents simply dont get on, and that is no reason to deny children their right to know their grandparents

I personally think that if you need to ask this question, then you've never been in the horrible situation where this has happened, and you're very lucky.

There will always be the ones who fall through the cracks as the parents may be being bitter, but I expect there is very good reason for the majority who do it.