to think a 7yo should be able to use knife and fork

[haveatye]

We try, but she refuses. Usually tired at dinner and a strop ensues if we try to insist.

Any tips? Do they teach them about it at school? I think seven is old enough to do this!

Do they teach them about it at school?

This isn't something that schools should have to teach, or that a child will learn by copying you or by osmosis. It's on you to get hand-on and teach them.

First thought was dyspraxia, my hand writing was fine as a child too but I use the 'wrong' hands for cutting food. I find it sad and depressing that some people find it sad and depressing tbh, why would anyone care so much about how others uses cutlery?

what have "manners" got to do with how easily you find it to use a knife and fork?

How rude- maybe need to think more about manners yourself

use the knife but insists on holding it the wrong way and in the wrong hand.
it's clearly the right way for her.

🤦‍♀️ Quite frankly, that's your job.

Remind yourself of your response to BlueWaxCrayon. Pot. Kettle. Black.

Pretty normal for the 1960s I'd say. My parents did what they thought was best. Different times.

No idea what you think you are referring to here, but you have literally just said I have no manners because I struggle with a knife and fork, which is the height of rudeness and ignorance from you, and if you can't see that, then you are not very self aware, are you.

9 human beings out of 10 would have stop and thought, and then apologised, if they genuinely had spoken without thinking how rude they were being. Not you, clearly

exactly, there isn't a right way or a right hand, some people on this thread seem to be attempting to impose victorian deportment values

Focus on her using it rather than using it thw right way.
A lot of children (and adults!) avoid doing thing they are bad at.

exactly, there isn't a right way or a right hand, some people on this thread seem to be attempting to impose victorian deportment values

There is a more efficient way to hold a knife. People who struggle to use one may not be holding it in the most efficient way.

Can you afford to take her for a meal at a restaurant? I did this with mine and let them look at everyone at the tables all eating properly, then I said my dd was old enough to eat in places like this with adults but she must use her cutlery. She started that day and we haven’t looked back.

I hold my cutlery in the ‘wrong hands’ but I think my dominant hand should be controlling the scran scoop. Only a few people have ever commented and they were people I had already labelled as arseholes anyway. Once was at a team lunch and I just said ‘well sue if you want it to not land in your lap this is the safest manner!’

or what is "efficient" for you is not "efficient" for them

She uses right hand for writing. So struggles to use knife in her left as it should be in stronger hand.

To clarify - she can peel potatoes, use sharp knife to cut up fruit and veg, etc. She is more than able to use knife and fork if she chose, but she's reluctant and every meal I try to insist she does results in a big kerfuffle.

I'm happy to go through a big kerfuffle if that's what it takes, I was just looking for tips other people had to incentivise rather than compel.

And again - I'm not looking for school to do my job for me. I know they show kids how to pour water etc, I wondered if knives came into it at all.

I'm going to come up with some kind of reward system, I think.

It does always amaze me how many threads on Mumsnet are like this:
Op - here's a parenting challenge I have, any tips?
Mumsnet unhelpfuls: you should have sorted that out by now
Op: I'm trying to
Mumsnet unhelpfuls: just parent

Seems like a waste of everyone's time! Thanks for the tips, helpfuls :)

As a nanny of other 20 years it is shocking the list of things parent refuse to teach their children and expect school to do so.

These are skills that should have been taught and corrected when she was a toddler. All the children I have cared for needed correction of how to old cutlery properly and how to scrape food on to a fork with a knife etc but it’s a lesson of patience and continued correction.

You’ve massively missed the boat on this one.

Similar for me. However, I cut my food and then swap over my cutlery. My family hated that I ate like this and shamed me no end. I still do it now.

Teach by all means but don’t allow this thread to stress you out and make you feel like a shit parent because your child doesn’t always use a knife. My family tried every meal time but my way felt more comfortable.

I think your way is how they do it in the US, isn't it? They're taught it's rude to eat with a knife in your hand, you cut then put it down and eat with your fork. Watch out for it on telly!

Why should the knife and fork be used in specific hands? Can't see it matters in the least - it's just a convention. As long as they're used neatly and effectively, why fuss about it?

Nice n helpful, typical perfect mn parent

I’m right handed but use knife in my left. Always have. Didn’t realise that wasn’t the norm until I started going to restaurants where the cutlery was pre set 🤷🏻‍♀️

Try blue tac! Place on the knife in at the places the fingers should rest and tell the child the blue tac is to 'stick' the knife to their hand.

Perhaps. However, I was not raised in the US, ‘my way’ was purely instinctual. Some individuals, regardless of culture, find swapping a more comfortable way of feeding themselves.