School taking child out of school for festivals, but expecting me to pick up from somewhere else and at an earlier time than finish of school.

[Roofie17]

My DD school have adopted a policy of not arranging transport for pupils to take them to and from sports festivals etc. They always asked for volunteers and some staff would use their cars (head etc had business use Ins) but they do not have a minibus. They sometimes have the use of a bus to take them, but ask that parents pick them up from our nearest secondary where the festivals are held, which is 8/9 miles from our village and the pick up time is generally at 3pm, 15 minutes earlier than DD would normally finish school. My husband and I both work and I am so fed up of going cap in hand to the other mums asking one of them to pick up and it always seems that they're a little reluctant to do it, I even had one saying "This is why I don't work, so that I can be there for things like this". We are in a fairly affluent area and 6 of the children in my daughters class have parents that work in the school , and the rest don't work or work very few hours, so we are definitely odd ones out. We both work full time because we have to work full time. I work as a learning support assistant (TA) in a local college, so my holiday is taken during the school hols and its frowned on to take time off apart from that as our learners need us too. I'm just so fed up with feeling so anxious about asking others and yesterday we received another email to say that they were going to be taking part in another festival in 2 weeks time, the same week as sports day which we also only found out about yesterday, so im already having to go to my boss at what he would consider short notice to ask for an hour or so to watch what will be her last sports day at primary. AIBU to think that a) parents should be given more than 2 weeks notice of festivals, sports days etc and b) if they take my daughter out of school that they should get her back there for her usual finish time?

Say no. Warn them in advance that you will be unavailable but can get to the school gate for the normal time.

Repeat clearly over and over again.

Yes they should but some schools have shocking communication. Our school has the same policy about collecting from events but it's normally a few children and a member of staff would take any children who couldn't get lifts/share lifts back to school.
Is it the whole class going? Just say to school she can't go because you're unable to pick her up early so she'll need to remain in school with another class. Does the school not have an after-school club? If so surely those children would need returning to school for that.

If your dd is desperate to do it though I'd try to find a way for her to do it.

We always give parents the choice to pick up at the event or from school and if it’s from school we make arrangements to transport them back there (some are attending After School Club too so can’t get a lifet home from other parents). Your school needs to be doing the same, it’s unreasonable to expect all parents to pick up early and from somewhere 9 miles away.

I would take the time off for the pick up but not for the sports day. I've never managed to see one of them and my kids are OK with it. As long as you are doing something good with them it doesn't have to be everything.

Presumably your daughter is in a sports team or something and there is an alternative that she doesn’t participate and stays at school? In that instance I think it’s really your choice whether you facilitate her participation or not.

If this is a compulsory, whole class activity that’s ridiculous and I’d tell the school it’s completely unreasonable to expect you to facilitate early picks ups in odd places on more than an absolutely exceptional basis.

Sports Day at my kid’s school was notified on the first day of term, although obviously these things are subject to change.

Given it’s practically the end of her time at this school though I’d grin and bear it at this point.

I feel your pain. Last day of half term we were instructed school would finish at 2 for an event. We had to collect our children and stay with them for the event. If we couldn’t we were told to ask another parent. I can’t just tell my boss I’m leaving early so had to take a half day annual leave for it. You burn bridges keep asking other parents to help. I don’t think they should be allowed to just decide to change pick up time.

b) if they take my daughter out of school that they should get her back there for her usual finish time?

They're not really taking her out of school though, are they? Presumably these sports events are not compulsory and not everyone goes. In which case they are doing their best to manage transport, but they are not obliged to sort normal location requirements. If the sports times don't suit, the alternative is not to do them.

We give option for kids to be brought back to school as some go straight in to after school club, but teachers are probably not insured to bring kids in their car and don't like to (don't blame them) we are lucky that we have a minibus but it is touch and go whether we can afford it, costs have gone through the roof , everything is more expensive, schools are skint. All you can do is tell school that child cannot go if you have to pick them up

have adopted a policy

they haven't. They very likely haven't got the budget for another option!

I am afraid yes, swapping favours with other parents is the way to go. That's how we all manage.

Even the SAHM have to juggle several kids often, and have to swap favours.

It's even more fun with GDPR and schools not being allowed to share parents lists so you have to find the parents yourself! Thank god for whatsapp groups, however hated they are on here

She doesn't have to go. Just say no and someone else’s child can get a chance.
Transport costs are extortionate, schools can not afford them.
These opportunities for your child have required staff to organise and man them. This affects staffing levels at school.
The only thing agree with on is that they should tell you with more notice especially for school organised events such as sports day.
The sports festivals will have been arranged by other organisations so they may not have had much notice themselves.

I'm just so fed up with feeling so anxious about asking others

honestly you are being ridiculous. If it's a festival, it's obviously not organised by the school who can't guess the details until they are receiving them.

You can stop your child from participate if it makes your life easier, but what a shame to blame the school for trying to organise things for the kids. I am sure if you wanted to organise events to fund for a minibus , that would be another option? Do you fancy doing that?

Is this primary or secondary school op? That wouldn’t happen in my school as the parents could not/would not do the pick up.

YANBU. What you are saying is totally fair. I think it is particularly wrong of the school not to return dd to her usual pick-up place and time.

They must be aware that parents are juggling all sorts of responsibilities, including the imperative to earn money. They are far too blasé about your time and other commitments.

Genuinely, what do you want them to do in this situation? If they don't have a bus to bring them back, I can see they are left with only two options: either ask parents to pick them up there, or not go at all.

If they can get them all there, they should be able to get them back.

so your solution is deprive all the kids from a chance to participate. Great. You sound fun.

Always offer a favour before asking for one.

You are a TA, and as you pointed out, you have all school holidays off work.

Speak to a friendly parent and say "you can pick a day in the school holidays for me to take all your children for the afternoon and you to have a break/attend an appointment/whatever, if you can pick my DC up from the next two festivals."

Most SAHP would jump at the chance for an afternoon with their kids occupied by a qualified TA during the long summer break.

This is a cost thing. The alternative is they could organise a coach. This would likely cost £300+. Assuming there are 10 on the team (could well be less) that’s £30 per head. Schools have no money. Would you be happy to pay £30 for your daughter to participate? I imagine not. They’re trying to keep costs low, by the sounds of it most parents at your school can make it work fairly easily so they’re probably hoping the rest who can’t can ask for favours. The alternative is no one goes.

I agree that the school should ensure that any child that can't collected from the location should be transported back to the school.

The OP says that staff sometimes take children to these events so they should be able to get them back. Our school operated in this manner and I would always offer to one boy whose parents were in OP's situation back home with me for tea. Parents were grateful as was school as he was often the only one that couldn't be collected and it made it easier for them. It's a shame that the other parents are so welcoming and helpful to you. However in the absence of assistance school should definitely step up especially if they want your child to represent then at this event.

Is that what you got from this post?

How old is she?

You can just tell the school your predicament and she might get a lift back with a teacher.

@bluewaxcrayon I'm not "Blaming school for organising things for the kids", what I don't like is that it is a whole class activity to which my child is being taken by bus, but there is no transport home and pick up time is earlier than school finish time. Re you disputing that they have adopted a policy, you are wrong. The first occasion this happened (previously the school asked for volunteer drivers and then distributed children amongst them-and yes, when I had a different job I volunteered) we were told "We have now adopted the policy of allowing parents to arrange their own transport".
As for fund raising for school, I have done a fair amount of time on the PTA and helped raise funds for all weather sports facilities etc, but we raise funds for things the school requests and head does not deem this to be a priority.

This is primary, and a whole class (year) activity

No, not in a sports team, this is a whole class activity. There is a bus running which is picking up from ours and 2 other schools from nearby villages, but not bringing them home. I wouldn't mind going further for pick up, but its the earlier time combined with this that I'm struggling with.

Its whole year/class participation, but I guess if I refuse to pick up or cannot arrange another lift she will stay in school and have to go in with another class.