AIBU or is DH about my birthday?

[Badhairday10]

Just that really. Was supposed to go out for a meal on Saturday to mark it but cancelled it as we’re on a bit of a budget at the moment. I said I’d invite my family over on my birthday instead and cook for everyone which was fine. My parents text to let me know they may have to bring one of my grandparents with them if that’s alright, so I then invited my other gran over as I’d love for her to come and it’s only fair. DH is angry that he wasn’t consulted about the extra two people and says we won’t fit that many people and he’s going to leave the house when they come. AIBU to think he can suck it up for a few hours for one day and I shouldn’t need to essentially ask permission? Plus it’s me who will be doing the cooking anyway!

Yes he's an AH. It's your birthday so it's about your preferences and wishes.
Surely you can temporarily fit 9 people around a table for 7.
Please join your own birthday dinner, don't just serve and hover around! You deserve the spot & attention and it's also quite awkward for guests when the host(s) behave like waiter/servant.
I hope you'll have a lovely dinner and great family time!

My husband is a bit like this: gets very stressed about entertaining and feels like everything has to be perfect whereas I'm more informal. I expect he's a bit worried about where everyone will sit and embarrassed you can't host them all properly. It's not a birthday meal if you can't all sit and eat together. If there's kids can you make a little uns table separately? Can you borrow extra chairs or an extender? Can you make it an outdoor event like a BBQ or picnic so everyone can fit in?

Honestly, I’d consider leaving that relationship ASAP!

YANBU to invite your grandparents to your birthday. Your husband is completely unreasonable and rude!

We had a six seater dinner table at home when I was a kid and at Christmas we sat 8 around it, sometimes 10. People sat on whatever they could - garden chairs, piano stool etc. You’ve already cancelled the meal out because you are on a budget. And you are also doing all the cooking. I think you’ve already made enough accommodations for everyone. I think it’s pretty rotten of your other half to sulk and make you feel bad, especially when he should be spoiling you. It’s pretty normal to squeeze extra people in when you’ve got a special event. Most people do it without being ruled by the table size. Let him go out if he must and you enjoy the meal with your family. Some people can’t stand the attention to be on someone else and go out of their way to spoil it. Hopefully he doesn’t do this all the time. If he does, and you are otherwise happy with him, then get used to leaving him to sulk and carry on without him.

I would do buffet food and people can sit wherever they want to
it’s your husband being unreasonable not you