AIBU or is DH about my birthday?

[Badhairday10]

Just that really. Was supposed to go out for a meal on Saturday to mark it but cancelled it as we’re on a bit of a budget at the moment. I said I’d invite my family over on my birthday instead and cook for everyone which was fine. My parents text to let me know they may have to bring one of my grandparents with them if that’s alright, so I then invited my other gran over as I’d love for her to come and it’s only fair. DH is angry that he wasn’t consulted about the extra two people and says we won’t fit that many people and he’s going to leave the house when they come. AIBU to think he can suck it up for a few hours for one day and I shouldn’t need to essentially ask permission? Plus it’s me who will be doing the cooking anyway!

The cost of a big curry and rice, or pasta, or similar for 9 will be cheaper than two people eating out, especially if guests volunteer to bring the wine or a desert.

Squeezing round the table will be necessary for a plated hot meal like rice and curry. If you go for a buffet, it solves the seating issue but will very quickly get very expensive.

But the meal is a side issue. The big problem is your boyfriend's behaviour.

Those saying it would be cheaper to go out could be wrong as I would put a massive chilli in the slow cooker and have rice and a cake. Bulk out meat in chilli with lentils and you have a filling meal with minimal tidying up or cooking apart from used dishes and you could just get some disposable plates 😂

Why not just do a finger buffet-type meal, rather than a full sit-down? People can sit at the table or on the sofa or anywhere else there’s space then, without needing room to eat at the table.

Won't your family feel awkward sitting there eating while you and your DH hover around, neither sitting nor eating? I'd be mortified to go to someone's house for dinner and then watch them not eat.

Blimey, you're celebrating your special day by spending it slaving over a hot stove and catering for a load of people instead of going out for a nice meal? You certainly know how tohave a good time 😆

Sorry, DH not boyfriend.

I think it would be odd if you invited your family over for a meal, then you and your DH didn't sit down and eat with them. I'm sure they won't mind sitting more closely together so you can all eat the table at the same time.

Personally I'd do something like make scones and a cake, so the seating arrangements can be more flexible and informal.

I couldn't be doing with that OP. A man so unpleasant he walks out on your birthday meal thst you're cooking for yourself, because you've decided to invite and cook for your two grandmas? Honestly, he would need to have a very long list of good points indeed to balance that type of carry on. But let me guess. He hasnt, has he?

He never had any intention of celebrating your bday. He cancelled the meal and promised to cook- then he was gonna find any excuse to cancel or not be a part of that- you inviting grandparents was the perfect excuse. Cynical? I know this type of man.

It would definitely be cheaper eating out for 2 I think! And you can't eat before everyone shows off, that's just really odd behaviour since the only reason they are all coming is it's your birthday!
But your DH is completely wrong Does he normally have form for sulking and spoiling occasions?

I feel like I'm the only person who gets his point. This was originally meant to be a dinner for the OP and her DH, but now he's not even getting to sit at the table. So what's the point of him being there if he's not taking part in the celebrations? The OP isn't even part of her birthday dinner.

He sounds rude and idiotic.

Have your family round and enjoy your birthday.

Indeed

Agreed

He’s sulking! Of course he’ll get to sit at the table, just might be a bit cosy with two extra seats. If he’s going to be silly and flounce when your family is over and spoil your birthday I’d tell him to go out.

Did you read the OP's posts? She plans to feed him and herself before her family arrives so the family can sit comfortably at the table. She is not intending for him and her to have dinner with them.

As others have suggested just change it to a buffet style meal or drinks and nibbles. Would a BBQ with everyone outside work - if this is next weekend the weather looks better.

You can’t not sit and eat with everyone but also cooking for 9 is a bit much. Get your DH to do a BBQ!

Just get a fold up chair. With misery guts out of the way, you'll only need 1 extra. Sounds like you'll all have a nicer time without him there. You can tell a lot about a person by how they treat their partners family. A reasonable grown-up doesn't throw a tantrum about family coming to celebrate a loved ones birthday they do whatever they can to make everyone feel welcome & comfortable.

was it suppse to be a dinner just the two of you? and now it's a load of people who you have to cook for serve up food and drinks tidy up plus squeeze everyone around the table to eat ? sorry that doesn't sound like a nice birthday treat ?
why has it changed from a night out the two of you and now feeding 10 people with little space ? why couldn't you do a cheap meal for 2 just two of you ? I can see his point of view in this now.

Why are you cooking for everyone on your birthday? Surely if you can’t afford to eat out then DH cooks and cleans up?

It’s not his birthday?! You’re being a bigger person than me cooking for everybody on your birthday. Usually someone else cooks for me or l go out for dinner on my birthday as a rule

Not the point but why not do a lovely buffet instead and people can just sit around the room ? Might be more relaxed

Of course your DH is being unreasonable a cunt You don't need us to tell you that though surely. I couldn’t be with someone who would have a strop on my birthday because my grandma's came to dinner. Fuck that.

Let him go out then. No point keeping him there if he's going to be moody.

He cancelled the meal and promised to cook

No he didn't. OP doesn't say whose decision it was to cancel the meal out, and she decided to cook for her family.