DD kissing all the boys…….

[adviceForMyDd]

Dropped my daughter aged nearly 9 to school today and as I was walking I was stopped by 3 boys in her class (DD was in breakfast club so didn’t hear). One said to me “X has a crush on all the boys in the year group and kisses the boys in class”. He said she kisses her hand and blows kisses at them, I don’t know this boy but know the other 2. I explained she’s the youngest in class and doesn’t understand what she’s doing.

DD is very childish and immature and teachers have often said she’s very young in terms of behaviour but it’s expected as she’s one of the youngest in year group.

i’m really worried she will get a reputation. I don’t know how to handle this. Any advice please?

If this is real (and I don’t think it is because why would you believe a random child and his hyperbole ?)

Talk to dd. It would not surprise me if this happened once or your dd blew a kiss to a friend and the boys changed it to a new story of dd having crushes and blowing a kiss to all of the boys. I’m surprised that you took everything they said at face value.

Ask her if she blows kisses at school and if she understands what blowing a kiss means (Most toddlers know the answer to this so I bet your dd does) Ime It’s ok to have no kisses at school rule because your dd might end up a lesbian or bi so blowing kisses to boys or girls is equally concerning for you.

If dd is going around saying that she has crushes on all of the boys and blowing kisses to them (check if they request it rather than her offering) then her classmates may talk about it because crushes etc is a topic that will give her age group the giggles.

You need a word with dd before someone uses a phrase like pedo or sexual harassment. I know that your dd has no sinister intentions but once someone says it out loud, it can’t be unsaid and she’s going to be devastated if someone labels her behaviour like that. She’s youngest in the class is a legitimate excuse in primary but she’s quickly of an age where it doesn’t matter unless she has a disability or other impairment that prevents her from understanding. It takes one kid learning words like that for it to spread through the class.

I explained she’s the youngest in class and doesn’t understand what she’s doing.

You were vvvvvvvv unreasonable for saying this to a random 9 year old classmate of your DD. Let alone the reputation concern. Fucking. Hell.

Not assaulting, no, but , it is harassment and it is sexual in nature.
Would you want a boy pulling down his trousers to your dd in school?
If this happened at our school ot would definitely be recorded as a safeguarding incident and be seriously dealt with.

The adults on here are thinking, oh it's just a little girl.But when you are9 another 9 year old in as big and old as you.It is just the same as if the office sleaze was blowing kisses at you at work all the time.

She’s blowing kisses from HER hands! Didn’t you ever play kiss chase at school?

Didn’t you ever play kiss chase at school?

no... what on earth is that

No, it was banned even in the 70s.

I can’t stand kids like this (the boy not your DD!). They usually talk absolute shite in a bid to get others in trouble. Don’t fall for it.

No one likes a tell tale tit

My school allowed kiss chase in the 80’s!

Had a chat with my 10 year old DC, his friend ended his "relationship" with his gf as she wanted to make out and wouldn't take no for an answer when he said no. They are all 10...and I talked to DS about boundaries and consent.

Not sure blowing kisses ranks as harassment, nor will it lead to a reputation, but in the case of my DS I do wonder where very young kids are getting these ideas from

BANNED?! Which statute bans kiss chase 🤣

We definitely played it in the 90s, when Red Rover and British Bulldog were banned at our school.

My DD is in year 6 and they all have boyfriends and girlfriends - except my DD who tried being a girlfriend but dumped him a few days later as she ‘couldn’t be bothered with all the hassle’ (apparently he was asking too much to spend break time with her 😂 good for her) - but none of them are kissing or even holding hands. It’s a status thing it seems.

My DS is in year 2 and told me he kissed his girl friend’s hand yesterday because she hurt herself and was crying and he tried to make her feel better (it’s what I do to him when he’s upset as the tickling makes him laugh). I find it a bit weird that anyone would peg such young children as sexual harrassers rather than what they are mostly which is innocent and naive. I think so many parents overreact about what are actually very small fry issues rather than having a bit of perspective. It must be exhausting being a child these days with a parent overanalysing your every move including blowing a kiss! Which actually in many cultures is very much a normal way to express friendship and affection.

same!! I went to school in the 80’s and 90’s and none of these games were banned.

Birthday bumps were actually encouraged by the dinner ladies 🤣🤣 i was so happy to have a birthday in the holidays as having your mates bang your arse against concrete looked painful 😂😂

Banned by the Staff, you muppet !!

This is the weirdest worded comment I’ve ever read. What on earth is ‘cumsluttedness’, and why does the size and fit of your bra matter?!?

You need therapy because you think a 9 year old can have the reputation of being a slut.

I agree @ItsNotAShopItsAStore I've seen this frequently on MN, posters who are upset by children's sexualised behaviour but not understanding that they are the ones sexualising it. A child blows kisses, so what. If it's annoying people then she needs to be told to stop. Just like if she continually hums or cracks her knuckles. It honestly bewilders and annoys me that this can be seen as sexual harassment.

Quite.
Reads like a Herbert, frankly.

I find it a bit weird that anyone would peg such young children as sexual harrassers rather than what they are mostly which is innocent and naive.

Me too. I find it quite bewildering how some posters on here imply OP’s 9 year old daughter was sexually harassing other kids by (allegedly) blowing kisses.
I would find it equally strange if the genders were reversed at that age btw.

Funniest thing I’ve read today 😂😂

There is lots of sexually inappropriate behaviour that happens in primary school.like full on assault, staff need to be really on it, nipping things in the bud.
Our school does not allow 'couples' for example.

I’ve got nothing new to add but you need to find a way to think about or get help to think about what you think a 9 year old girl could get a reputation for but blowing kisses. You need to seriously do some work on that and I mean that with zero judgement or unkindness.

It definitely isn’t the same thing whatsoever. By legal definition a sleazy co-worker has capacity and is old enough to know the difference between right and wrong - a nine year old doesn’t. This just needs to be a simple conversation and nothing half as dramatic as your nonsensical comments would suggest. Sexual harassment, sleazy and perpetrator? Honestly, if you’re being remotely serious you need to sit down and have a quiet word with yourself because you are ridiculous personified by the sounds of it. Stop sexualising the actions of children because it’s more telling of your character than that of the you know, child.

👏🏼👏🏼

Do people not realise the irony of their outrage about sexualised children, whilst they’re the ONLY one sexualising children.

Either kissing is always sexual or it isn’t. And if it is let’s hope these people never kissed their babies.

If this is something that’s worrying you then I’d speak to the class teacher and ask if she’s noticed any of this behaviour. I’d also have a little chat with your dd and see what she says. I would scold her or give her into trouble, I’d play it cool, ask if she plays with the children who mentioned it and say they told you a sorry this morning and see what she says. If she is going around kissing their hands/kissing/ blowing kisses then ask her why and then gently encourage her to stop.

Try not to worry, the children could be making uk stories and trying to get your dd into trouble.