DD kissing all the boys…….

[adviceForMyDd]

Dropped my daughter aged nearly 9 to school today and as I was walking I was stopped by 3 boys in her class (DD was in breakfast club so didn’t hear). One said to me “X has a crush on all the boys in the year group and kisses the boys in class”. He said she kisses her hand and blows kisses at them, I don’t know this boy but know the other 2. I explained she’s the youngest in class and doesn’t understand what she’s doing.

DD is very childish and immature and teachers have often said she’s very young in terms of behaviour but it’s expected as she’s one of the youngest in year group.

i’m really worried she will get a reputation. I don’t know how to handle this. Any advice please?

Gosh, I don't really know what to say.

You sound slightly embarrassed by your daughter, disappointed even, but I think that maybe this reaction may stem from worrying about her, possibly?

Are you worried that she's maybe naive compared to her peers and therefore sometimes does stuff without reading the room?
As an adult I think this is lovely in some ways, being a child and being herself, it I do understand the worry of feeling she may get taken advantage of.
She's only blowing kisses for goodness sake, and I'd say the same if it were a boy doing it.
I wonder why you used the word "reputation"? She might be seen as "babyish" or "silly" or "annoying " for doing it , by her classmates, but nothing more that that.
She's not going up to kids and twerking on them, and even if she were she'd simply need it explaining that it wasn't appropriate, no need to worry about reputations🙄.

Hi OP,
Talk to your dd.

I have older siblings so when I was 9 I thought it was usual and a sign of maturity to kiss boys and more. I cringe thinking about it now. My religious head mistress found out and as well as telling me how I needed to be pure for God (!), sent me to confession! Ridiculous and I was never even religious.

My point is, I didn't have a reason grown up who I could talk to and guide me about what was normal for a 9 year old, boundaries etc. good luck!

Around this age is when social differences due to ASD tend to start becoming more obvious. I wouldn't expect a summer born NT child to stand out hugely from their peers at this age as there will be children spread all across the year, they won't all be a year older than her. Do you think there might be more to her being very childish and immature?

@adviceForMyDd talk to her about consent. About not making others feel uncomfortable and how attention seeking behaviours may feel nice to her but they don't feel nice to others which can equate to harassment.

This discussion should be about consent and harassment not about reputations.

She sounds like quite an innocent 9 year old. My DD9 deffo wouldn’t want to contemplate blowing a kiss to a boy now. However one of her friends has 5 boyfriends of which one is my younger son and he doesn’t even know. This is what kids do. They also tell tales on eachother like the boys from your daughter’s class. It doesn’t matter. You could just talk to her about boundaries though as at 9 she’s old enough to understand.

Firstly, what's wrong with children blowing kisses at eachother? Maybe she does fancy them? So what. She's 9. I don't really understand what kind of 'reputation' she could be getting. She's prepubescent!
The boys might have been saying that because they've a crush on her? It's all innocent stuff.

Ffs OP a reputation?! She’s 9! Are you for real.

3 little boys have said something about your DD and your head has spiralled. Take a breath and talk to DD today about it and see what she says. If you’re still concerned give teacher a ring.

Seems like a non issue

P.S I got “married” in the playground in year 3 to my boyfriend of 1 week so how’s that for a reputation 🤣

This has got to be a wind up?

My Dd aged 7 says she has 3 boyfriends and wants to marry them all. And the cat. I am not yet concerned that she’s heading for a life of bigamy/ bestiality/ because she’s 7 and this means sod all.

The boys have raised it with her mum mostly likely because they don't like it, it is therefore sexual harassment. It is not the perpetrators intent, it is the victims perception which is what makes it harassment.

Love your post! Really made me chuckle…
“…quickly whip out my whites for them to get a good look at” 🤭

A 'reputation'

No words 😳

Tell DD that she mustn't kiss or blow kisses at anyone at school. That kisses are for at home with friends and family and only ever when the other person wants the kiss.
She won't get 'a reputation' in the usual sense of the word, but she might get labelled as silly and a nuisance and causing embarrassment to other children, so she does need to be told imo.

Well bully for you! , Personally I don't care much too much about the harassers.You clearly have given no thought to how the children you subjected to this might have felt.

That's exactly what I thought.

Don't make a big deal, just speak to your DD about boundaries. She shouldn't be hugging or kissing anyone if they don't want to but don't frame it to her that she'll get a 'reputation'.

A 9 year old perpetrator? Seriously? Blowing kisses.

Thank God we don't have someone like you in our year group.

Seems she is getting the reputation of being annoying. You can discuss that with her, an 8 year old is more than old enough to understand what annoying me.

Sexual harassment for blowing kisses? Oh dear. Says more about the person who thinks that than the child

Are you fucking kidding me? You think I was sexually assaulting other children at 7yo? Is there something wrong with you?

Start a thread saying a 7yo boy is flashing his underwear to every girl in the class.

I am sure you will get some very interesting replies 😂

Yeah that's not how 9yr old boys work.
If they were the target and nor liking it ....if they spoke to anyone it wouldn't be the girls mum in passing!

What they were doing (assuming thus actually happened) was trying to embarrass her.
When things like this have been said to me or other parents it typical turns out to be very wide of the mark and the kids think it's hilarious and they have played a Brilliant joke 🙄

I don't think that you should be encouraging me to go and start a reverse about an imaginary 7yo boy getting naked. I am, after all, a known sex offender. 😂

Off your heads, the pair of you.

I never called you a sex offender. Just pointing out that some people do, and I have seen "interesting" thread, one was a little boy showing his new batman pants or something.

I didn't say I agree

Dropped my daughter aged nearly 9 to school today
and as I was walking I was stopped by 3 boys in her class (DD was in breakfast club so didn’t hear).
One said to me “X has a crush on all the boys in the year group and kisses the boys in class”.
He said she kisses her hand and blows kisses at them, I don’t know this boy but know the other 2.

So she is youngest in Y4, about to go into Y5?
3 boys stopped you....one you don't know did all the talking?
Why don't you know him? Is he new? He is clearly very confident to approach a mother he doesn't know but I find at that age lots of boys think it's impressive to try and shock people.

Boys of similar age used to walk past my house and tell me someone was murdered there (man dad of old age) or would tell me my girls had something to tell me, or had been in trouble. It rarely had even a grain of truth...that's the joke....Daisy swore at the teacher today is funny because she is least likely in the class to do that.

I would be suspicious that he is potentially bullying or teasing your daughter tbh. Or he has a crush on her....perhaps both.

Well she's not going to get a sexual reputation but if you want to talk to her about physical appropriate boundaries just in case, that's probably a good idea for any child anyway. Just open your mouth and talk to her like a mother