Would you let your child do this or am I over the top?

[KrustyBurger]

Currently on holiday in the USA. We are staying at a Marriott so not a motel type set up.

Husband asked our daughter who is 12 to run some rubbish down to the bin next to the lift, she would have to go past about 12 room doors (6 each side).

I said no, il do it as you never know who’s in the rooms and it only takes 5 seconds for someone to open the door and yank her in and you wouldn’t even know which room it is or where she is.

Husband said ok but gave me a strange glance.

Was I being over the top? Or would other parents do the same. It’s nearly 10pm at night here.

Husband's a bit of a clean freak and our bin is full hence not just leaving it.

You are being ridiculous op imo. One of you could have stood in the doorway and watched while she ran down if necessary.

I’d let my ten year old and 12 year old do this!!

His fucking lazy arse should go. Honestly, he has these standards to maintain, but gets someone else to do it. 🤨 Lazy, hypocritical fucker.

Just a suggestion.... you read the OPs post, as crazy as she is, which is bad! She's given an explanation more than once saying why he didn't go.

And it wasn't because he's a lazy arse.

He’s the clean freak he should empty it.
And no I’d not let a child walk around a hotel alone. Stories on here every month of man appeared in my hotel room, man let himself into my hotel room.

Read OPs posts to enlighten yourself.

when the lift is round the corner from your hotel room, do you hold your kids hand all the way? Are they not even allowed to walk ahead and reach the lift while you close your door - because they can't cope to pass 6 doors?

YABVU

It wouldnt cross my mind NOT to let my children walk to the end of a hotel corridor....

We've been staying in Youth hostels, which dont always have en-suites since my children were about 8, and they go to the toilet by themselves, and since about age 10 they also will go to the showers and have a shower by themself.

When on holiday they go around the hotel grounds / water park / grab an ice cream / by themselves too and i don't give it a second thought.

Exactly.
“But but it’s a foreign country!”

Of course she should go. I thought you were posting to say 12 floors - not 12 doors 😂

It wouldn't occur to me not to let her go. Are you anxious generally?

You are going to regret keeping your child safe a lot less than you would ever regret not keeping them safe.

The DD is question 12 not 6. My DS is 12 and walks to a bus stop, gets the bus, walks to his friends house every day, wait for it, by himself 😱my niece does similar but travels further. The child in question isn’t a little dot, the refusal to do this is so over the top.

I see it my job as a parent to raise confident children, with common sense and problem solving skills. For this, you must give them age appropriate independence. Which sometimes means they are in theory less safe than they would be with me holding their hand. I would regret raising an anxious child who cries when they need to go to toilet alone when they're a teenager.

Whilst I would certainly be happy to allow my daughter to walk the hotel corridor, I would certainly be most unhappy were she to do so without her meteorite helmet. This I insist she wears almost permanently.
Did you know that the fatality rate from meteorite (chondritic or metallic) strike is almost 100% ?

Yes, she would be allowed to carry the trash, but only on the condition that she wore her helmet.

He was sorting out the younger child (presumably doing bedtime). Not lazing on the bed, clicking his fingers to make the 12 year old do his bidding.

He could take the trash after sorting bedtime.

Or just go be a 12 year old an age appropriate task!

Either way your man hating analogy of him being a lazy arse was wrong!

From my own experiences on holiday at around that age I wouldn't have let her go either.

Holidays and booze brings out the worst in a certain type of man.

They were staying in a Marriott! Not Club Med.

It's funny, but it's never occurred to me that I should be more vigilant and protective of my kids than I would be in the UK, because I live in a Foreign Country! I can't believe my kids made it to adulthood when I let them do age appropriate tasks and even let them out of my sight for short periods of time, in the USA where we happen to live, when they were as young as12.

OP, you're being ridiculous. As is everyone else who thinks that the husband should have taken the garbage out himself. Do you people seriously never ask your children to do simple chores to help out? Or do you wait on them hand and foot?

In the local area we have had a number of stabbings, machete attacks and a couple of gun incidents over the last 10 years.

It sounds horrendous, and some were quite close to each other

Say nothing for the muggings.

Parents still let their kids out alone. Because whilst on the face of it, its sounds bad the fact is its actually a tiny number of cases. And the independence is worth it

This is less risk than letting a child out near me tbh

Taking the rubbish out is also not unreasonable to ask of a 12 year old

Hold on. You’re staying in a decent hotel and you won’t let your 12 year old walk to the end of the corridor?

you’re mad. Can she go to the toilet alone if you’re eating breakfast?

I have a 12 yr old daughter and live in the US. We frequently stay at Marriotts when we travel. Some of them, I’m perfectly comfortable with my DD going down the hall for ice/snacks/drinks. Others, my DH or I go with her. My best advice to anyone is trust your gut. I also understand that children in the UK are often given way more independence than children in certain parts of the US. Some US communities even have laws that don’t allow children under certain ages (usually around 14) to be left home alone. I personally find this a bit ridiculous, and try to live in and raise my children in communities where independence is encouraged.

How does a “foreign country” make this hotel scenario more dangerous?