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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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nursery opening hours

978 replies

scottishgal09 · 12/06/2024 22:58

I need to go back to work so will soon be putting my 9 month old in nursery, only thing is that the earliest I can find any nursery open is 7 am to 7 pm. The 7 pm closing time is fine but I really find I need a opening time of 6 pm. I also work Saturday mornings so need something that is open 6 days. Start time should be at least 6:00 pm but I struggle to find this. Do these type of nursery’s exist? What are the opening and closing hours for your nursery’s? Why don’t nursery’s take into account that some parents need to work 6 days 🤨?

OP posts:
Abracadabra12345 · 13/06/2024 13:00

I don't even think an older child would cope with being out of the house for the amount of time you are suggesting. Its exhausting for them and stressful to be away from their primary attachment figure.

The OP clearly has no idea of child development or has spent any time in a daycare nursery so they are talking out of ignorance and have no desire to listen to people with experience and knowledge.

Nurseries - the best ones - are noisy, overstimulating and highly stressful but this is balanced by being there shorter hours / days so they become instead stimulating and exciting. Spending such long hours there with a variety of carers is indeed damaging but OP isn't interested.

I really do hope this is a troll

LittleTiger007 · 13/06/2024 13:00

TeaKitten · 13/06/2024 12:55

Again why are you doing nothing with your child? This must be a wind up, nobody is this daft in real life.

Sadly there are a few parents like this. They end up with disturbed kids. Kids who become unsettled adults with attachment issues. I think maybe the op has these same attachment issues and that’s why she can’t see it. Which is very sad.

crumblingschools · 13/06/2024 13:00

Can one of you work evening shifts so can do more childcare in the day?

Childminders play with their mindees they don’t just plonk them down and ignore them. They are monitored by OFSTED just like nurseries. What are you planning to do with your DC when you are home?

Shinyandnew1 · 13/06/2024 13:01

scottishgal09 · 13/06/2024 12:49

Not in a good nursery, maybe in bad ones. It’s not stressful, stop lying. Children enjoy being in a nursery, there’s lots to do and lots of other children to play with. There are lots of things for them to do like water play outside or puzzles and games, more then anything at home or at a childminder. It’s more stressful being at home doing nothing lol.

Why on earth would your child be at home doing nothing?! That’s a rather sad reflection on you and your husband, isn’t it?!

Where is your baby now, @scottishgal09 ? Do you play with them? Take them out?

Arewealljustloosingtheplot · 13/06/2024 13:01

scottishgal09 · 13/06/2024 12:20

Nursery staff have qualifications and know lots about raising children and how they develop. More than you or me. I never said 6 to 7 pm. I need to start work early so 6 to 5 pm is more my thinking. What’s wrong with nursery’s? You think bad things are happening in them lol.

OP why on earth did you have a baby? 11 hours a day 5 days a week and plus a Saturday morning?

it your job is so important why didn’t you just focus on your career. You’ve not answered a single question about what you actually do, if you’ve requested any flex etc etc.

I hope this post is actually a wind up.

NiceParkingSpotRitaThanksJanet · 13/06/2024 13:02

scottishgal09 · 13/06/2024 12:49

Not in a good nursery, maybe in bad ones. It’s not stressful, stop lying. Children enjoy being in a nursery, there’s lots to do and lots of other children to play with. There are lots of things for them to do like water play outside or puzzles and games, more then anything at home or at a childminder. It’s more stressful being at home doing nothing lol.

This is 100% a piss take

AlohaRose · 13/06/2024 13:03

scottishgal09 · 13/06/2024 11:23

Everybody does this, maybe not 6 days but 5 days at least. It is only a extra half day.

Not starting at 6 a.m. in the morning they don't!

Also you are being incredibly rude about childminders who are also qualified, experienced professionals, have plenty of toys and activities for the children in their care.

LittleTiger007 · 13/06/2024 13:04

Caffeineislife · 13/06/2024 12:49

Not necessarily. There are many, many excellent nurseries who have well qualified, fantastic staff. However, there are also nurseries with a nursery manager who sits in their office all day, employs lots of trainee teenage staff with the lowest level of qualification they can get away with whilst also allowing them to count in ratios and relies an awful lot on bank and supply staff.

I've worked as bank staff in day nurseries which were drastically under ratio, had a 3 hour nappy policy where nappies were changed every 3 hours and not in-between regardless of soiling, employing teens who were barely out of school who were given patchy training and very little supervision and whose experience of children was babysitting younger siblings (said staff member had no idea how to change a nappy, make up formula bottles correctly or burp a baby) never mind how to provide a safe and stimulating environment for them.

I've also worked as bank and full time staff in some excellent nurseries, with well qualified, committed and experienced staff.

Chosing a suitable childcare provider is one of the most important jobs you do for your child. You can only really do this by visiting and getting a feel for them.

This is so true! I found it to be the same. Op does not want to hear it though. She’s not listening

willowtolive · 13/06/2024 13:04

crumblingschools · 13/06/2024 13:00

Can one of you work evening shifts so can do more childcare in the day?

Childminders play with their mindees they don’t just plonk them down and ignore them. They are monitored by OFSTED just like nurseries. What are you planning to do with your DC when you are home?

This thread makes less and less sense. Well paid restaurant managers so do alternate shifts and save on child care or lose the second job and be there for your baby.
No one is lying when they say nursery can be stressful, my 2 year old does two full days a week he likes it but is sometimes upset and tired when I get him at 5.30 after being there from 8.
6 am starts is ridiculous and you won't find a nursery that will provide it anyway, and for good reason.

Shinyandnew1 · 13/06/2024 13:06

It’s not stressful, stop lying

Who is lying!?

LittleTiger007 · 13/06/2024 13:06

going ahead with nursery 6 days a week after all the advice you’ve received here is tantamount to insanity and child abuse.

Parker231 · 13/06/2024 13:07

Luxell934 · 13/06/2024 11:45

I worked in a nursery for 4 years, very few babies did 5 days a week during my time there. The usual was 2-3 days a week.

Edited

DT’s nursery only took babies and toddlers on a 5 days a week, full time basis. They had a year long waiting list.

AzureSheep · 13/06/2024 13:08

Tell you what, OP, why don’t you just take the baby to work with you and set them to work pot washing? It’ll be just as good for the baby and you’ll save a fortune!

scottishgal09 · 13/06/2024 13:14

Arewealljustloosingtheplot · 13/06/2024 13:01

OP why on earth did you have a baby? 11 hours a day 5 days a week and plus a Saturday morning?

it your job is so important why didn’t you just focus on your career. You’ve not answered a single question about what you actually do, if you’ve requested any flex etc etc.

I hope this post is actually a wind up.

8 hours 4 or 5 days a week is fine but 11 hours is child abuse ? I guess those drs who do the same are child abusers too ? Or maybe it’s okay for them because there drs and we don’t have prestigious jobs like that lol.

OP posts:
Motnight · 13/06/2024 13:14

Op what was your plan before the baby was born?

Honestly I think that you and your partners' work hours are completely unsustainable, and certainly not the best thing for you as a family.

Bushmillsbabe · 13/06/2024 13:16

scottishgal09 · 13/06/2024 12:49

Not in a good nursery, maybe in bad ones. It’s not stressful, stop lying. Children enjoy being in a nursery, there’s lots to do and lots of other children to play with. There are lots of things for them to do like water play outside or puzzles and games, more then anything at home or at a childminder. It’s more stressful being at home doing nothing lol.

Why does being at home have to equate doing nothing?
My husband and I both work full time, but both did 5 days over 4, so each had 1 weekday with our children when little. We did playdates, baby classes, swimming, trips to park. And just got to know them.

And 3 full days nursery. By day 3 they were absolutely wrecked, so after 6 months I chose to cut my hours so only 2 days in nursery. Yes, a good nursery supports development and has lots to do, but its not home. Their naps get disturbed by other children, they are 1 staff to 4 children, so the children often have to wait for cuddles, for feeds, for nappy changes as all staff busy.

It's all about balance. Balancing need to work with child's needs, balancing your job with your partners, time at home 1 to 1 with primary caregivers with stimulation in a nursery.

And plan for then to miss about 50% of days in first few months as will pick up lots of bugs.

And with comments re health care/hospital workers - our hospital nursery openned 8am -6pm, and maximum a child was allowed to attend was 30 hours a week.

GreenWheat · 13/06/2024 13:16

It would really help your situation if you could think more flexibly. I also think it's easy to think you won't get another job if you stop or cut back when your child is small. I know lots of people who either gave up work or cut back and were able to find something suitable when they wanted to go back. I think you are placing too much emphasis on the current situation and not enough on the future one.

scottishgal09 · 13/06/2024 13:17

LittleTiger007 · 13/06/2024 12:27

No. I was a nursery nurse for one summer. I listened whilst another cater read a story and she skipped pages to get to the end. I have a childhood development degree and was mopping the floor whilst she (who could barely read) was reading to a group of four year olds. In the baby room there were three of us and 8 babies. Babies had to cry on their own some times because we didn’t have enough hands. We cared but it is in no way the same as being in a loving family. Stop kidding yourself. It’s ok for a few days a week. But children need consistent love and care. Your child isn’t even one year old and you will hard your child if you basically hand over the parenting to a group of people who are paid to do a job. Plus… we loved some of the children. The sweet well balanced ones. Those who were little sods - and this was because they’ve been negligently parented by the way - were not loved. So their behaviour tends to get worse. This is life. You are the parent - you should be that baby’s main input.

If baby’s are crying and nobody is picking them up that’s child abuse. You should care for and love all the children not pick and choose lol

OP posts:
Needanewname42 · 13/06/2024 13:18

Op are you both working in hotel restaurants so breakfast service as well as dinner?

Would it not be better for one to do early shifts and one late?
You surely want your child with one of you as much as possible for their sake as well as your bank balance.

BusyCM · 13/06/2024 13:18

scottishgal09 · 13/06/2024 13:14

8 hours 4 or 5 days a week is fine but 11 hours is child abuse ? I guess those drs who do the same are child abusers too ? Or maybe it’s okay for them because there drs and we don’t have prestigious jobs like that lol.

I wonder what sort of kick you're getting out of this thread?

It's very telling that you posted in AIBU? and not in Childcare topic.

You are also very combative in your responses instead of showing concern and interested in the responses (of which you asked for!).

I'm relieved anyway that this child does not exist.

I'll be stepping away now.

Hobnobswantshernameback · 13/06/2024 13:18

Wind em up and watch em go
lol
that restaurant must be super busy today

Beepbeepvroomvroom · 13/06/2024 13:19

It is absolutely not better for a 9 month old to be at nursery (more than) full time rather than with their mother or father. The exception to that is if there is neglect or abuse etc at home of course.

Ozanj · 13/06/2024 13:21

Ask the 7:30am starters if they’d take your DC in at 6am if you paid extra. That’s what I did when I needed to work in London.

Arewealljustloosingtheplot · 13/06/2024 13:22

scottishgal09 · 13/06/2024 13:14

8 hours 4 or 5 days a week is fine but 11 hours is child abuse ? I guess those drs who do the same are child abusers too ? Or maybe it’s okay for them because there drs and we don’t have prestigious jobs like that lol.

It was other posters that mentioned child abuse. Not me.

I have no idea what you thought was going to happen when you had a baby. You’ve had months to get sorted and now you’re in a hole because , for the final time, what you’re looking for, does not exist. And if it did, you probably couldn’t afford it by what you say.

so something else has got to give hasn’t it, yet you’re not listening to anytime on here who has tried to make suggestions / help.

Beepbeepvroomvroom · 13/06/2024 13:22

Oh and my child would definitely rather be at home with me or her dad rather than at nursery (yes she enjoys nursery but would always pick being at home with us). I take that as a compliment though. I can almost guarantee a 9 month old would also rather be with their mother than shipped off to a nursery 6 days a week. (Unless said mother showed no attachment to them…)

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