Am I being tight?!

[McSteamyorMcdreamy]

My friend has just turned her nose up at me....

"Really? You're doing that?. Ew, I would feel awful if I did that!"

DD4 turns 5 later on in the month. Nailed her NEW balance bike and is now ready for her first proper bike.

Money is a bit tight and with her birthday party I didn't want to spend £££s on a brand new bike for her not to get on with it and sell it a loss/have it in the shed forever.

Anyhoo found a decent on on FB MP. Needs new tyres and new saddle and has a couple of age related marks but it's not battered. With the extras it's probably going to come to £70-£80.

Been looking for something decent for a while so was really chuffed to get it. Told friend and she said the above.

I feel really shit now and worried DD will be really disappointed as it won't be brand new and shiny. Realistically I know she won't give a shit and I will just be a bike, but I can't shake the feeling.

Am I tight???!

I plan on getting my son a bike for his birthday. Possibly second hand. Although I got stung last time buying a duff unfixable bike from Facebook marketplace. Lots of his presents will be second hand. (And diy character transfers onto plain clothes as a lot cheaper than what’s out there!)

You’re not being tight at all. Just make sure it’s fully repaired and works!!

They grow out of bikes unbelievably fast at that age. I got my DS his first proper bike when he was 3 and by 3 and a half it was too small! We went second hand for the next few bikes then when he was 6 got a new one for his birthday as the growing slows down a bit by then and it’ll last longer. We only went with new for that one though because he wanted gears and could not find one the right size second hand. Your friend is being weird. You can usually find bikes in really good condition on marketplace

My daughters are both grown up now but their favourite ever present was a homemade doll's house my husband made, big enough for their Barbies! They are 27 and 23 and still talk fondly of that house, which cost the price of three sheets of MDF and some paint! Funnily enough, they never mention all the expensive bikes we bought them over the years!

Children do notice hand me downs, and no we aren’t all just super grateful for what we have (it’s an unrealistic expectation).

But I can’t see a 5yo noticing. Put some stickers off their favourite show or add some streamers to jazz it up if you need.

Also bikes in the uk are super expensive!

Wow, she is being totally unreasonable, unkind and rude. I regularly buy my children second hand things - including gifts. It’s part of our family culture, they know some things have been loved by other children and wouldn’t give it another thought (they are 4,7). My daughter has a seconds bike that we did up. Their main gift from Santa at Christmas was second hand and they haven’t mentioned it at all. We could afford to buy new but I absolutely love passing and receiving things that are pre-loved. It’s a total non-issue here and amongst my friends.

IMO it is better to buy a good quality second hand bike, than a brand new shit one. Those ones in Smyths etc, most are far too heavy for kids and they struggle to lift them. There are some great bikes you can pick up second hand, like Isla Bikes and Frog Bikes, but they are £££ brand new. It will make her learning to ride experience easier.

We bought a frog bike for our sons 4th birthday, they are £350/£400 brand new and there was no way I was spending that on bike he was likely to fall off and scratch when learning to ride. I bought a second hand one for £120 immaculate condition, you would not know it was pre owned, and the retain value for selling on once they have outgrown.

Its fine to buy a second hand bike! I have done and we had the money to go and buy a brand new one but I didn't want too as 1. it will get scuffed etc learning to ride and 2. I knew my daughter would absolutely go through the phase of loving it and using it all the time to then it sitting in the garage, untouched!!

Your friend is weird. Not you.

You’ve upcycled a bike. YANBU

Has your friend never driven a pre-owned car? Or bought a house that was not brand-new?

Your gift sounds great.

Your friend sounds rude.

I don’t think my dd has ever bought a new bike for her 3 - all of whom were cycling at 3. When outgrown they’re back on e.g. FB marketplace or passed on among friends/family. It’s entirely normal within her circle.

I have to admit to not always being so particular, though. A Gdd recently wanted a particular scooter for her birthday - dd urged me to find a 2nd hand one.
Sorry, but I wanted to give Gdd a brand new one. In a box.
Grannies are allowed!

OP it's too late for me to edit my post, but this is the second hand one we bought for our child's birthday. It looked brand new and we saved a lot of money, my son was overjoyed with it. You can find some real bargains, I found this by joining a group on Facebook called preowned isla and frog bikes.

I got a third hand bike one birthday. It had been my sister's then my brother's. My dad painted it, got new white tyres and stickers. I loved it. I think dad was a bit embarrassed it wasn't new so went on about what good quality it was! I didn't care, it was much more grown up than my trike.

YANBU she will love it. I remember my first bike for my 7th birthday - and I loved it. I didn't even know it was second hand until years later and frankly I wouldn't have cared.

Eventually when I was 8 or 9 I trashed it and my collar bone free wheeling down a steep hill performing the only perfect double mid air somersault I've ever and will ever achieve as I went through a huge pothole and over the handle bars. It had to go to the scrap man and I was devastated until mum found me another second hand... but imagine if she'd spent a small fortune on a new one.

Hopefully your DD will avoid such silly antics - those were the days it was considered OK for kids to go off by themselves for the day taking a picnic by the river and having a swim etc. -

I’m actually picking DS5 up a second hand bike this lunchtime. £230 new, great condition, £45 second hand.

He will be delighted and he’ll probably need a bigger one in 18 months time.

when ours outgrow theirs we donate to a local not for profit, where apprentices service them and sell them on cheap.

It goes for everything in our house - I’m always happy to go second hand. Kids have no problem with it either and we regularly rummage in charity shops for clothes, books or toys.

Your friend sounds like she was spoilt as a child.

This is a totally normal thing for anyone who's not minted to do.

And even for anyone who is minted, it's good for the environment to reuse perfectly good things.

I have always thought children bikes are the most cliché second hand item ever. In a good sense - they are robust and last longer than the child can use them before growing up from that size

And it is definitely better to have a light second hand than new heavy one

Have only bought new bikes for my children once and will never do again. I now look out for ones in very good condition on Marketplace. Drove me batty seeing them leave them lying on ground or out overnight. They don’t give a hoot where they come from as long as they have a good bike. You friend is being a bit of a _k.

@listsandbudgets oh god were you all right? Had you a helmet. I watched my son do this he was about 4. He appeared to very competent on bike and using brakes. I was putting our bin out day which means a long walk down a not very steep hill (private land thankfully - so no cars) He was excited to accompany me and forgot to use brakes. I honestly think he done a double somersault without taking his hands off the handlebars. He was bruised but ok. I couldn’t speak for about 2 hours.

As long as you make it look nice I can’t see any reason why she wouldn’t love it. Years ago my son desperately wanted a giant Pooh bear. I couldn’t afford a new one and amazingly found one in a charity shop for a tenner. I bought it, I worried because it wasn’t brand new but he absolutely loved it.

I've bought my DDs first and second bikes off Ebay secondhand. And various buggies and Lego sets and clothes. DCs go to a London prep school, we have a decent size house in London and a very healthy income. Could afford to buy new comfortably but I don't see the point. Everything has worked perfectly well and I'll sell on once the youngest has outgrown. My DDs don't know or care.

@Whatadipstick It was 40 years ago we didn't wear helmets - instead we went down blooming great hills at a huge speed - I busted my collar bone, banged my head and had some big cuts on my legs - but survived. In fact was with my dad and step mum who told me I was complaining about muscle strain - they smeared on some antiseptic and some plasters, gave me a bit of deep heat rub and some aspirin - it was only after a few days when I went back to my mums she thought maybe I had a broken collar bone and took me to A&E - probably be a case of child neglect these days.

She's not a real friend, bet she recoils at the thought of buying things in a charity shop.

I've done this for my dd in the past. Shine it up, new bell and attached some glittery streamer things.
She loved it. Sell it on or give to a charity shop to help someone else out.