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AIBU?

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Original poster

Am I being tight?!

180 replies

McSteamyorMcdreamy · 12/06/2024 20:19

My friend has just turned her nose up at me....

"Really? You're doing that?. Ew, I would feel awful if I did that!"

DD4 turns 5 later on in the month. Nailed her NEW balance bike and is now ready for her first proper bike.

Money is a bit tight and with her birthday party I didn't want to spend £££s on a brand new bike for her not to get on with it and sell it a loss/have it in the shed forever.

Anyhoo found a decent on on FB MP. Needs new tyres and new saddle and has a couple of age related marks but it's not battered. With the extras it's probably going to come to £70-£80.

Been looking for something decent for a while so was really chuffed to get it. Told friend and she said the above.

I feel really shit now and worried DD will be really disappointed as it won't be brand new and shiny. Realistically I know she won't give a shit and I will just be a bike, but I can't shake the feeling.

Am I tight???!

OP posts:
GivingCrapAdviceSince1973 · 13/06/2024 07:21

I was chuffed to bits with the second hand bike I got for my 6th birthday. My dad resprayed it so it was nice and shiny.

Jazzjazzyjulez · 13/06/2024 07:23

I think you are being tight (hate that word though) in a way- you are obviously spending less than you need to! But that is ok. It is clearly about money and not environmental reasons which is obv a big reason for going for second hand.

The only other thing I would say is if you spending £80 on new tires etc I am sure you could pick up a new one for that. My daughter brand new bike with all the trimmings (doll seat, baskets etc) only cost £100 new and then you don't need to spend money on doing up an old bike!

SeaWorkout · 13/06/2024 07:23

Your DD will love it.

Also, Its a form of recycling, keeps stuff out of landfill and reduces carbon footprint from manufacture and transportation of raw materials and finished product.

Shelby2010 · 13/06/2024 07:26

Get a bell & a basket to put on the front & she won’t notice a couple of scratches!

diddl · 13/06/2024 07:32

I think I have had one new bike in my life.

That should have been a hand down from my sibling but I didn't grow as tall as them!

Alwaystired2023 · 13/06/2024 07:33

I buy all sorts of second hand things especially for children, so wasteful, not every child needs a brand new copy of the Gruffalo when there's thousands of unread copies from children who have outgrown theirs ?! Ditto bikes, slides, anything else you can think of

user1471538283 · 13/06/2024 07:37

Get some pom poms on it and it will be a hit!

I had a second hand bike for the same reason as your DD. It was my DF's mate's child's (and probably someone else's before then because big, expensive toys like this were just recycled around families on bases) and I think it was free. I was shocking on it. It was then given to my cousin and he loved it.

Every bike my DS outgrew we donated to his school to gift to someone. His last one a gentleman and his son picked up from us to fix up and that child was so delighted.

The bike you've fixed up is serviceable and safe.

It's your money and you allocate it as you see fit.

keypoir · 13/06/2024 07:51

We are a six figure household and buy second hand bikes for the kids (mine was too actually), they outgrow them so quickly as brand new is unnecessarily expensive vs second hand. Use Vinted a lot too, and most of their consoles are second hand or refurbished.

Divebar2021 · 13/06/2024 07:52

My DD’s first bike was new and from Halfords… it was super cute but my god it was so heavy. I used to feel so bad about her little legs trying to get up even slight inclines. When she outgrew that we went second hand and my DD has picked up a couple of new looking bikes second hand. The first was Specialized- that one looked really great. Now we’re in the world of “phones” and we buy those refurbished because damn those things are expensive. ( and they get dropped a lot). I think there’s obviously a difference in people who grew up only getting second hand and I can see how that felt like second best but for the families in my friendship group there’s no shame attached to second hand at all.

Hiddendoor · 13/06/2024 07:52

Good on you!
My kids have never had new bikes apart for DC1's new balance bike that was passed down to DC2 and then passed on to a neighbour.

We've had 2nd hand cheap bikes that weighed an absolute tonne and gave DC1 a workout everything they went over a slight hill (it was approx £15 from bike reservice Place) and 2nd hand good quality bikes (paid £100 for barely used £300 bike) and the difference in weight and useability was enormous.

DH scours gumtree and Facebook for the bikes he wants to get them. We are also about to sell on the latest outgrown bike and will get about 70% what we paid for as despite our DC use and the previous owner use, it is still in good nick and in demand.

So remember and sell on your DD new (to her) bike once she has outgrown!

Mouswife · 13/06/2024 07:56

diitch her she is nasty.

Pantsinthewash · 13/06/2024 08:01

I grew up in the Sixties and remember the delight of receiving a twin (!) dolls pram and a scooter. My dad was very practical and repainted the scooter and put some pretty transfers on the pram. At that age I wasn't aware they were second hand initially but once I knew it didn't take any of the shine away. I can still see both the pram and the scooter in my mind's eye and it's such a warm memory to know that my dad spent his time in secret adding thoughtful touches to his work. That's priceless to me.

Divebar2021 · 13/06/2024 08:05

Oh this has reminded me of a dolls house my friend gave away recently …. It was open sided if you know the type. The lady who collected it gave it a real paint job and created this spider man lair for her child. She sent her a photo… it looked amazing. I’m sure her child was delighted.

PuppiesProzacProsecco · 13/06/2024 08:06

Your friend is a dick. I bought my DS his most wanted Christmas present (Rainbow High doll house) from FB marketplace last year. A huge pile of plastic and MDF tat for nearly £200 new or £40 second hand was a bit of a no brainer, never mind the fact it's better for the environment.

MillshakePickle · 13/06/2024 08:07

My son is 10 and has yet to have a brand spanking new bike. He'll get a new one for seniors. Until then, they have absolutely no regard for taking care of their possessions. It will get dropped, kicked, fallen over etc anything in its path.

You 100% did the right thing and save something else from hitting a landfill a bit later in it's life.

We all need to be more sustainable and there's nothing wrong with buying second hand

Mnetcurious · 13/06/2024 08:09

You’re not being tight! There are plenty of things I could easily afford to buy new but buy second hand because first and foremost it’s more environmentally friendly. It also allows me to save more money for my children’s future/spend more on other fun experiences for them.
If money is tight then buying second hand is a great idea. Your daughter will be delighted with her new bike, and at her age will probably have no idea that it’s not brand new, nor would she care if she did. Don’t worry about it at all.

PeachBlossom1234 · 13/06/2024 08:24

I bought my daughter a very expensive bike for Christmas 2 years ago, fast forward to now and it’s too small for her however she loves it so much that she doesn’t want to part with it. The company (Frome) has now gone under and I can’t get a new one in a bigger size but I have managed to find one on FB marketplace which is in excellent condition and she’s getting it for her birthday in a fortnight. I have learned a couple of valuable lessons, 1 that they grow out of bikes super fast so don’t need an expensive one and 2 that if your dd falls in love with it you need to be able to get a new one easy!!! Most stuff for kids is lightly used so I say go for it!!!

behindthemall · 13/06/2024 08:27

Sounds like now is a good time to teach your daughter not to be as consumerist as your friend!

Second hand is great for the environment and financially!

1983Louise · 13/06/2024 08:56

We always buy our granddaughter's bikes etc from out local charity/tip shop. Most we've paid is £5.00, she loves getting a bike to play with and when she's too big for it was give it back. I can never understand why people buy new for their kids, they outgrow them so quickly.

Changingplace · 13/06/2024 09:05

1983Louise · 13/06/2024 08:56

We always buy our granddaughter's bikes etc from out local charity/tip shop. Most we've paid is £5.00, she loves getting a bike to play with and when she's too big for it was give it back. I can never understand why people buy new for their kids, they outgrow them so quickly.

Our charity shop at the tip is the absolute best for bikes! Totally agree, kids grow out of them so quickly, they have some absolute bargains.

CutthroatDruTheViolent · 13/06/2024 09:15

I spent a fiver on bikes for my boys when they were that age. That was what I could afford, and also it didn't make sense to me to buy a brand new bike that would get minimal use before they outgrew them.

Ignore her. She's being a silly snob.

hevs03 · 13/06/2024 09:18

Your friend is being unreasonable, your daughter is going to love her bike and as others have suggested by the time you jazz it up (there's some good bike stuff on Amazon), she will be overjoyed I'm sure. Totally sensible thing to do particularly as she will grow out of it, I did the same with my daughter with many of her things as she was growing up, sold them on as well which I liked to do knowing someone else was getting the benefit of the item.
Ignore you friend, I hope your daughter has a great birthday & party

ALittleDropOfRain · 13/06/2024 09:29

We‘ve always bought second hand for DS, including presents. As you‘ve done, we‘ve always checked the stuff was in good nick, and replaced bits as necessary. He’s always been delighted, and now he’s starting to buy his own toys from time to time, will ask me to look for certain things second hand online. I‘ll put a list together for him and we’ll work out what the best deal is for his needs.

We always buy particular items new (for us it’s sandals, socks, swimming trunks and pants), and will buy new if we can’t find something in good enough quality second hand.

He‘s now 7, however since the age of three he’s understood that when he‘s grown out of something it’s time for it to go to the next child.

VJBR · 13/06/2024 09:52

Strictlymad · 12/06/2024 20:21

Friend sounds wasteful, we are too consumerist and trashing the environment. A 5 year old won’t notice - you did the right thing

This. It isn't being tight. It is recycling (excuse the pun). Better to renovate the bike than for it to go to a landfill. I wrapped up my first child's presents for the second's birthday. Neither child was any the wiser.

Tristar15 · 13/06/2024 10:02

I bought my DD a second hand bike for her 6th birthday, she had no idea and loves it. Much better for the environment and they outgrow them so quickly. I’ll be able to resell it for what I paid for it when the time comes. It’s the best way of getting Frog or Isla bikes for a great price.