Am I being tight?!

[McSteamyorMcdreamy]

My friend has just turned her nose up at me....

"Really? You're doing that?. Ew, I would feel awful if I did that!"

DD4 turns 5 later on in the month. Nailed her NEW balance bike and is now ready for her first proper bike.

Money is a bit tight and with her birthday party I didn't want to spend £££s on a brand new bike for her not to get on with it and sell it a loss/have it in the shed forever.

Anyhoo found a decent on on FB MP. Needs new tyres and new saddle and has a couple of age related marks but it's not battered. With the extras it's probably going to come to £70-£80.

Been looking for something decent for a while so was really chuffed to get it. Told friend and she said the above.

I feel really shit now and worried DD will be really disappointed as it won't be brand new and shiny. Realistically I know she won't give a shit and I will just be a bike, but I can't shake the feeling.

Am I tight???!

Kids' bikes are like cars - the minute you drive them off the dealer's lot, their value drops by at least 25%.

@McSteamyorMcdreamy - you've done well, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise!

People have different attitudes about second hand stuff.

I was chatting with my mate earlier (we are both moving house soon) and he mentioned needing a new sofa, and I suggested Facebook marketplace, and he said his Mrs wouldn't sit on a secondhand sofa!

I"m a bit of an old hippy myself and all about reuse and recycle, but what am I going to do - tell my mate his Mrs is a dick? (I don't think she is, for the record. I think she is an utter saint for putting up with him).

Some of us are cool with 2nd hand stuff. It's better for the planet. But some people can't get their heads around it, and that's also ok I guess.

OP, your friend is being a bit of a dick, but if she is otherwise a nice friend, I would just laugh it off and move on.

I have no doubt many of my very dear friends are utterly blindsided by the pre-loved tat I gift them at Christmas and birthdays!

Ðitch the friend, she sounds toxic and jealous of your dd learning to ride.

Is it a Woom??

Tbh.. at 5 she's too young to notice probably, but when older - I agree with your friend. No issues with secondhand stuff, buy lots from Vinted myself, including clothes, appliances, etc. But for a special occasion I'd want a new present. Or if used, then something really good and in mint condition. Parts needing to be changed doesn't sound 'like new' condition. To be fair, no one ever gave me a used present before, not as a child or adult. But as above, at 5 you can get away with it just about.

Ignore your friend, you are doing the best you can for your child and I’m sure she will be thrilled

This is great for the environment. I often sell and buy stuff from facebook groups. It helps me declutter & buy sometimes brand new stuff that the other person didn't use. Win win.

Bearing i mind I sold DDs highly used (but still in good nick) bike for £200 each... I'd say you got a bargain!

Why waste money. By spending less this gift you have more to spend on something else later. It’s better for your daughter, she gets more in the long run.

Your ‘friend’ is a bitch. My first bike was second hand and I was so delighted to have it.
Bought my 10 yr old a crap £30 second hand drum kit for his birthday and he’s been playing for 15 yrs. He didn’t give a shit it wasn’t new.
Your daughter will love her new bike.

These were the cheapest.

My point was that I can't find a 16" for £60-£70. Those for £100 are horrendously heavy for a young child. Unless you mean a bike that is too small so they will have outgrown when they get it? You might get a 12", but that's really for a 3-5 year old so false economy for your average 5 year old.

YANBU. We're a bike-mad household and all three of my DS's bikes so far have been second hand because you get so much more bang for your buck. Cheap but heavy bikes are a misery to cycle. 4 yo DS has a second hand 16" Frog and is comfortably covering 10-15 km trail rides on it - unlikely to manage that on a £70 new 10+ kg model.

OP, when I was about your DD’s age I was given my first proper bicycle. It was red with white wheels. All my friends had blue or black ones with black wheels. It was the pride of my heart. It was only when I grew up my DM told me they had got it second hand from my cousin. I didn’t care as a child and still don’t care over 50 years later. Your friend is an eejit and you have a lucky DD. Hope she has hours of fun on her new bike

There is a big difference between a good (expensive) well made bike and a cheap (less good) one. For lots of things it might not matter but cheap bikes are heavy and the components are poor quality. A cheap bike will be much less good for her to ride and given her strength at that age the weight of the bike (especially if she wants to ride up any kind of an incline) will be a massive issue. For some things, new and shiney might beat better and second hand but I’d say a bike is not one of them.

@McSteamyorMcdreamy as long as it is given with love, that is all that matters!!! tie a ribbon round it and dc will be thrilled!

Ignore friend.
Add shiny things to handle bars. You could give bike a paint job!
Sounds perfect to me. Happy birthday to your DD!

Great idea - you can also do a bike trade in when she outgrows it at the bikeclub.com (you take it and upgrade to a larger bike, might be a small upgrade fee). Wish it had been around when my kids were small and growing like weeds. More environmentally friendly, saves money and kids really don’t care - they just want a cool, fast bike.

Take no notice of this person. Recycling is King imho 😉

Your friend isn’t really a friend at all. Keep the bike, ditch the ‘friend’ I can’t imagine being so horrible to anyone!

I think it's great. My kids first bikes were new but then found such great ones on marketplace that it made sense. They grow out of bikes so quickly. I then sell them on for their next adventure. The same with scooters all from marketplace for way over half the price!

Not tight at all.

At 5 she will drop it numerous times whilst she is learning to ride it properly and is for too young to appreciate the value of it.

Dd has had a couple of okes for birthdays, all have been second hand. There are some fabulous bargains to be had if you take time to look.

Dd has also had second hand lego sets for Christmas and birthdays, second hand clothes etc.

For 6 years I was a single mum so money was tight but even without that, you can often get far better quality by buying something second hand than you could afford new. For example, dd has out grown her bike, I found an amazing Giant Liv bike for her, perfect size, colours she loved. New it would have cost over £600 which I could never afford. Second hand, riden three times, not a mark on it I paid £130. She knows it is a birthday present, she loves it.

You're friend is not wrong to want new for herself if she can afford it, but she is absolutely wrong to sneer at you.

Hope your dd loves her new bike!!

I find it’s usually not a good sign about a person when they comment negatively to your face about your parenting choices! This one had a spin of ‘I would feel bad if I did what you did’

I had similar from a friend about a (minor) childcare arrangement I’d made for my DC: she said ‘I just wouldn’t do that to James, I would feel terrible ’. Was pissed off! Decided it’s just her probably her ‘baggage’ and tactlessness.

The bike sounds brill. Your friend is an A grade prat. An insecure one to boot.

my children go to “fancy” private pre-prep and prep schools + almost all our friends live in comfortable big houses. Every single one of them would do that. most people use the second hand uniform shop as much as poss. Most buy as many of their clothes and their children’s clothes and toys etc on Vinted / fb marketplace. It is the smart + sensible choice.

I am not for a moment advocating that above circle is wealthy because they make these choices. But that you making that choicedoesn’t reflect anything about you apart from sound financial and environmental judgement!