Not having intercourse

[serenajoe]

I am currently pregnant and this first trimester has been very hard. I don't think my husband understands how hard this is for me. Some days after work I have to force myself to shower and then I'm jumping in bed before 6pm. I'm sick all the time puking multiple times a day. Even though I'm not feeling well he still wants intercourse and feel guilty when I say I can't right now. He's a kisser and wants to throw in tongue and y'all I simply can not. I don't know what to do. I have been explaining to him for the past 5 weeks that I just don't feel up to it yet he continues to bring it up. We can't cuddle for 10 minutes without him trying to jump my bones and I understand that he's a man but right now it's so hard trying to have intercourse without trying to vomit . Oral is simply out of the question right now because everything makes me gag. I'm really trying to keep him happy but I'm so miserable right now. I don't know what else to do

I want to apologize if this post triggered or upset anyone. After reading the responses I realized that I do need counseling. In the past I have put his needs before my own and I should have never done that. I appreciate all of the responses ❤️

You’re falling all over yourself trying to keep him happy. What’s he doing for you? Fuck all by the sound of it.

@serenajoe op what do you mean you hope he understands? What will happen if he doesn’t???

One of us will have to take the guest bedroom.

Why is him being happy more important than you being happy?

Yes and very sad.
I'm sorry for the OP, pregnant as well!
I'm child free, stopped having sex at 42
because I don't fancy it anymore and my husband hasn't pressured or sulked once.
He IS three decades older, however, very healthy.
This is sick.

@serenajoe what @OpenRoadYeehaw said …

You have said multiple times that you "are trying to keep him happy".

That's not how it should work.
Presumably both of you have mutually agreed to become parents
You are growing a new life inside you, with all that means for your body.
He should be doing everything he possibly can to support you, make life as easy as possible and make you feel as good as possible.

Pestering for sex and ignoring the effects of pregnancy on you (sickness, tiredness etc) is unacceptable & shows him to be a selfish, self centred, thoughtless man & makes him deeply unattractive.
If you don't have sex until the baby is born and 3 or 6 or 12 or whatever months old he should still NEVER pester you - only you can perform this miracle of creating a new life, he can't.

Oh OP, you've been so brainwashed by him (or by the patriarchal society) to think your needs don't matter and as a female you're there to be his sex slave and attend to his every need. What happened to you to make you think in 2024 that this is what a woman is? He has a right hand, I presume? He can use it. He sounds like a sex pest! Many women don't feel like sex for a year or so after the birth, if he can't cope now, how is he going to cope then? Or if your baby/toddler is sleeping in the bed with you both? Christ he is beyond delusional and clearly not prepared at all for fatherhood.

What everyone else said.

You could also take the low road and vomit on him…

Seriously though, I cannot believe that he is pestering you for sex when you are this sick. Men like your “D”H are the reason OBGYNs often like the husband to be in the room when they give the “no sex before the 6 week check” chat.