Peeping through opaque windows?

[ThingsPeopleDo]

A senior male DF lives in a row of maisonettes above shops. The end of the walkway overlooks the garden of some other flats. When short of breath, he sometimes pauses and looks at the plants in that garden for a couple of minutes (certainly no longer and there are no other gardens nearby to look at). A woman resident there complained to DF's female friend that he stares into her window, making her uncomfortable. A couple of male residents allegedly support her.

Those windows have an extremely dark heat-reflective glass which you just can't see into from outside. You couldn't see if anybody was inside. DF doesn't know the complainant or which flat she's in. He just saw dark glass and didn't think about being seen from inside and ppl thinking he was peeping. He has no intention of looking into windows. His very highly valued female friend of several years (not GF) takes the woman's side (been friends with her for 1-2 months). She says he shouldn't even use those steps down to ground (there are others).

Has DF done wrong, and are either/both women being unreasonable? He doesn't like upsetting ppl.

YABU - He shouldn't look into the garden at all.
YANBU - He may be naive but hasn't done anything pervy or wrong. His friend should support him.

It doesn't matter much why he's there or what he can actually see. The woman living there has said his behaviour is making her uncomfortable. He should avoid stopping by this row.

He doesn't stop there since the complaint.

If she can’t see him, then she has made up a complaint surely? Does she feel that someone is watching her because she can’t see in the window? It seems strange to complain when you literally can’t see if someone is watching.

Your choices are not really relevant.

His actions made a woman uncomfortable, she mentioned it, he has modified his behaviour, end of story.

Maybe she needs the one way film to make her feel safer?

if He’s not stopping there anymore is she still complaining?

Perhaps I didn't make this clear. With dark heat-reflective glass you can see out to a brighter exterior but not into the darker interior.

DF and I both thought everybody knew this.

All the flats have identical glass.

Sorry i thought you meant his window had the one way film. If she has the film then wtf is she complaining about. It’s the same as closing her curtains.

It’s very sad that his close friend has taken the woman’s side OP. Why would she do that?

So both windows have one way glass film? So he can’t see her and she can’t see him? wtf is anyone complaint about then. If he was able to see her and she could see him then I could understand her being uncomfortable but if he can’t see her and she can’t see him I’m confused as to why there’s a problem.

I’m all for women being comfortable but if he can’t see her and she can’t see if he is there why is she complaining that he might be there but still can’t see her?

If he doesn't like upsetting people he needs to stop staring out of that window. Just because he knows he's not peeping and can't see anything, doesn't mean he's not unerving women. It doesn't sound like a big ask to stop doing something minor for him that's causing women discomfort, so the decent and easiest thing to do is surely just stop. Tbh it's in his interests as now he's been told if he carried on, it will seem deliberate and if he gets himself a label, people will not be kind.

It sounds like his lady friend knows the complainant or have I misread - if as you say, she is supporting her? Hasn't your dad explained the situation to his chum who could pass it on to worried neighbour?

I am seriously wondering if people actually read the whole post sometimes.
Good luck op repeatedly explaining this.
No he sees nothing,he doesn't need to stop what he's doing.
Maybe the complainers should come to where he is standing to be reassured that he has/wont see inside the flats.

People can look out of windows freely if they can’t see into others houses surely. Unless she’s in her garden and he’s staring at her. People live next to train lines and have multiple trains each day. They put up curtains, nets or film. Like she has. To stop people seeing in.

**hasnt/wont

I could understand complaining if she could see him and if he was staring at her in her garden but this is ridiculous. She has no idea if he has looked or not and can’t see her anyway.

Does the woman in the flat not understand how one-way glass works?

She can see everything he's doing on the outside. He can see nothing she's doing on the inside. If anything, she's the one spying on him! Nobody in the garden will even know whether she's in her flat or not, let alone be gawping at her.

No he hasn’t done anything wrong. He’s steadying himself obviously before moving along.

the woman is complaining about nothing if this window is opaque from the outside.

He can't see her. She can see him.

Why are people finding it hard to grasp this?!

To clarify - DF stopped outside a few times, over a couple of months perhaps, to catch his breath. He looked over at the plants in a garden. The only windows involved belong to the complaining woman and neighbouring flats. They look almost black and opaque from outside. It's completely obvious that nobody can see in through them, and nobody would try. That's why it never occurred to DF that anybody would think he was trying to see in.

It amazes us that ppl living behind that glass can even think that anybody would try to see in. It's absolutely impossible.

He doesn't do it now. This is really about his friendship and his reputation. It's hard to understand why the complainant and DF's friend can't understand that nobody can see in.

FHS, people - read the OP.

He is stopping outdoors when walking.

When he stops, he sometimes looks at the flowers in a specific garden, the only one with flowers.

He is not indoors staring out or across to another flat.

He can't see into the home outside of which he stops when out of breath. There is dark glass in the windows that he can't see through.

I think the woman who is complaining needs to go outside and try to see through her own windows from outside. She will realise she has nothing to worry about.

Well done, you've got it thank you! I should have explained better, ppl read in a hurry!

He doesn't need to modify his behaviour to make a woman feel more comfortable wtf!

There's one way glass so he can't even see in and her window overlooks a garden ANYONE can look at

He's done nothing wrong and she should apologise to him for making HIM uncomfortable!