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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To find what’s happened to Michael Mosley quite anxiety provoking

966 replies

Glasto73lover · 10/06/2024 18:14

It’s that idea of never really knowing what’s going to happen- the idea that we walk such a fine line in life. If you think too much about it, you probably wouldn’t leave the house.!

A close family member died suddenly and tragically a decade ago - literally dropped dead at home age 48 - something went pop in their head. So you genuinely don’t know when your time is up.

It’s that idea of a chain of consequence that can go so horribly wrong too- people always say ‘oh but you could get hit by a bus’ - stuff like this actually makes me really anxious. So many what ifs.

For Michael Moseley - a chain of probably inconsequential decisions may have led to his death- not having a phone on him, choosing to undertake a walk that in the U.K. is nothing but in that heat, was devastating and probably caused his death.

It makes me anxious that I won’t know if I am making those decisions - am I making sense? I think as I have got older, I have become more anxious and risk averse (thanks menopause) and as a result, you could end up not leaving the house. How do you choose a sensible approach? Not too much risk but some!

But I also want to live my life too!! I guess I find incidents like this quite difficult!

I guess always having a phone, not undertaking walks in intense heat in an unfamiliar place etc are the common sense points that will come out of this tragedy.

Aibu to find it anxiety provoking tho?!

OP posts:
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Whatafustercluck · 11/06/2024 18:51

cakeorwine · 11/06/2024 18:05

Someone upthread mentioned "Plan Continuation Bias" - known as "Must get there itiis"

When you continue on a plan because you must get there, despite warning signs etc - and at some point, you need to evaluate your decision making and your plan.

But it can be hard to stop and reevaluate when you are carrying out your plan.

'Summit fever' in mountaineering. Many have lost their lives on Everest because of it. The 'turnaround time' is 2pm, no matter where you are at that point in the Death Zone.

AnnaSewell · 11/06/2024 18:53

I am in a walking group where most of us are in our 60, 70s and 80s. We normally walk between 8 and 10 miles. We wouldn't do mountainous terrain without proper walking boots and walking poles. We'd carry plenty of water. We'd have applied sun cream. We'd have broad brimmed hats. We would have maps, compasses, water. The risks posed by our chosen route would have been assessed.

Walking/hiking when done properly is not a hazardous activity. It keeps you fit. Most of us are in much better nick than our non-walking friends.

changeison · 11/06/2024 18:54

I know of three older 60+ men who've had sudden cardiac events whilst doing vigorous exercise. All physically fit and in shape. Makes me think we all need to take it easier
and maybe not do Iron Man and Pelaton when we're post 65

Manhere2024 · 11/06/2024 18:55

Thisoldheartofmine · 11/06/2024 16:44

Some have described it as crawling and others as making his way gingerly.

Some reports have questioned whether he did actually say he was feeling unwell/tired.

Honestly we don't know. It's like all the initial reports of it being the mayor who spotted him .

You’ve got this the wrong way round! There are no credible first-hand sources who’ve said that MM was unwell when he left the beach.

The most reliable witness of course is MM’s wife, whose statement (when he was still missing) said simply that he’d left the beach to go for a walk.

Clearly he later became unwell after hours of walking across rocky terrain.

But he hadn’t been when he set off from the beach.

DaisiesInTheAir · 11/06/2024 18:59

You can develop non-exertional heat stroke in just a few hours, especially if the humidity is high in addition to it being a hot day. The length of walk, plus the description of the CCTV footage at the resort sound consistent with heat stroke to me. It carries a very high mortality rate, even with intensive treatment. It's perhaps a good thing that this is raising awareness.

SeriaMau · 11/06/2024 19:02

All I would add to the comments is, don’t rely on a phone. Take it with you everywhere by all means, but it won’t necessarily save your life.
I have had great reception trekking in the highlands of Laos, and can sometimes barely get a signal in parts of central London. But in any case, better to rely on your wits than on a phone.

Disturbia81 · 11/06/2024 19:03

DaisiesInTheAir · 11/06/2024 18:59

You can develop non-exertional heat stroke in just a few hours, especially if the humidity is high in addition to it being a hot day. The length of walk, plus the description of the CCTV footage at the resort sound consistent with heat stroke to me. It carries a very high mortality rate, even with intensive treatment. It's perhaps a good thing that this is raising awareness.

I had it in my 20s and I've never felt so ill in my life, and that was by a pool with lots of drink and shade available. Poor guy

Yoonimum · 11/06/2024 19:03

You are not alone. There have been unexpected deaths and near misses in my life that have definitely made me more anxious. I manage not to let it stop me doing stuff but I do worry about others, especially the young adult children. People can be very reckless when they are young and feel invincible. I constantly have to remind myself that catastrophes are actually very rare events, particularly when you are a reasonably privileged UK resident.

BreatheAndFocus · 11/06/2024 19:15

I can’t remember if this has already been posted here but this is a description from someone who had heatstroke:

https://www.outsideonline.com/health/wellness/heat-stroke-signs-symptoms/

It can affect anyone and it can come on quickly. You can suddenly go from feeling a bit off to feeling very ill. Whether MM had heatstroke or not, this is important information to know. I had heat exhaustion once and that was bad enough. I felt very sick and dizzy.

And yes, you can get it in the U.K.

What It Feels Like When You Have Heatstroke—and How to Prevent It

Your head is pounding, your muscles are cramping, and your heart is racing. Then you get dizzy and the vomiting starts. Heatstroke kills thousands of people every year. This is what it feels like—and how to know when you’re in danger.

https://www.outsideonline.com/health/wellness/heat-stroke-signs-symptoms/

wombat15 · 11/06/2024 19:15

SeriaMau · 11/06/2024 19:02

All I would add to the comments is, don’t rely on a phone. Take it with you everywhere by all means, but it won’t necessarily save your life.
I have had great reception trekking in the highlands of Laos, and can sometimes barely get a signal in parts of central London. But in any case, better to rely on your wits than on a phone.

Even if you can't make a phone call, taking a phone will help them know the direction you travelled in.

cakeorwine · 11/06/2024 19:27

Whatafustercluck · 11/06/2024 18:51

'Summit fever' in mountaineering. Many have lost their lives on Everest because of it. The 'turnaround time' is 2pm, no matter where you are at that point in the Death Zone.

I did Base Camp many years ago. I had plenty of time in the mountains to acclimatise. However, there were people who were on a short trip, who flew to Lukla and then did a long trek, gaining altitude. That's how you risk altitude sickness by doing the trek too quickly.

But people wanted to get to base camp and they ignored the warning signs of altitude sickness.

TorroFerney · 11/06/2024 19:30

BonifaceBonanza · 11/06/2024 14:51

I realise that what I’m really not liking here is the undercurrent of “blame” in this case

agree, we cannot accept that people die so have to look for a reason that is something they did that we will not do so as to distance ourselves and try and prove to ourselves that we would not do that thing.

Same as I posted previously, it's to help us believe that we have some control when we really have none.

LiterallyOnFire · 11/06/2024 19:35

agree, we cannot accept that people die so have to look for a reason that is something they did that we will not do so as to distance ourselves and try and prove to ourselves that we would not do that thing.

It does seem evident he made an error of judgement. We can all draw a useful lesson from his mistake. Doing so might save lives in future. Which might be the best living legacy to a man who was passionate about medicine for public understanding and empowering everyone.

It doesn't have to be about blame.

I've often thought what a waste it was that all the media attention, column inches and broadcast minutes devoted to the death of Diana didn't deliver a pro-seatbelt message.

venus7 · 11/06/2024 19:35

This reply has been deleted

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ on behalf of the poster.

I think I know you; you may want to NC.

Applesandbananaz · 11/06/2024 19:36

Is anyone else just absolutely gutted that the Marina didn't check their CCTV until afterwards? I feel like so much heartbreak could have been prevented if everyone in the area had just had a good look at their CCTV for the afternoon he went missing. Absolutely devastated to lose MM.

Motheroffourdragons · 11/06/2024 19:40

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venus7 · 11/06/2024 19:43

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Of course there are.........but I think, from your username, and the way you express yourself, that I know you. Happy to ignore it, if you are. I don't loiter here often!

Motheroffourdragons · 11/06/2024 19:45

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Goldenbear · 11/06/2024 19:45

Efacsen · 11/06/2024 17:21

Yes definitely - there's a saying 'the canary on your garden wall is more likely to be a sparrow'

Plus expect that Dr M would have had an ECG at some point during his experiments on himself for insurance purposes - that would have most likely revealed any issues with electrical conductance in his heart

That’s a very good point about the tests for insurance purposes. A good saying aswell.

LiterallyOnFire · 11/06/2024 19:46

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That's not fair. It's good MN etiquette to say if you think you recognise someone.

AnnaSewell · 11/06/2024 19:48

For me it isn't about blaming.

It's about answering people who are worried about whether a particular physical activity - i.e. walking - is risky.

The answer is no, it isn't. If you are mindful of conditions, have navigational skills and are properly equipped then you can walk challenging routes.

If you are less skilled and only wearing everyday clothing, shoes etc., then you stick to more populated, shorter, flatter, less challenging routes.

Motheroffourdragons · 11/06/2024 19:49

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Gwenhwyfar · 11/06/2024 19:53

PadstowGirl · 10/06/2024 18:35

My DH is 64 and honestly he doesn't think that he is even slightly older or more vulnerable. He acts like he is 30, doing "daft" things like really vigorous games of tennis/football in the heat of summer.
They think they are invincible.

I guess that's the downside of the trend of claiming that we are younger for longer these days. People don't want to accept they're getting old.

venus7 · 11/06/2024 20:04

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No need.........

DaisiesInTheAir · 11/06/2024 20:06

Disturbia81 · 11/06/2024 19:03

I had it in my 20s and I've never felt so ill in my life, and that was by a pool with lots of drink and shade available. Poor guy

I'm glad you made a good recovery @Disturbia81 your age at the time will certainly have helped!