To ask school to stop sending me these texts?

[SquiglePig]

I have 3 kids in same high-school.

They've started to send texts to parents everytime a child is late to a lesson, basically saying 'your child is late for lesson, please don't allow this to happen again etc'

My kids are never late to school in the mornings, ever.

It's my responsibility to get them into school on time, which I do.

I've had the discussion with them about getting to lessons on time but what can I actually do?

I feel like once they're on school grounds I don't really have physical control over how long it takes them to get to lessons even though I keep telling them.

Also it's not a text to my phone it's a text via the school messaging system which means I have to log in to see it.

I'm at work and I don't know if it's something important or not and have to check and I can get in trouble for being on my phone too much.

Please don't think this is me saying I have no responsibility over my children's behaviour in school, of course I do but I feel that I do not need to recieve a text every time one of them is late to arrive to a lesson when I've got them into school on time.

In my day there were teachers in the hall to usher kids to their lessons?

Have you asked them why they're late so much?

Ask them about why they are late for lessons.
Is it all 3 of them?
Is there a reason?.

You have rightly discussed it with them, maybe the next step is your own sanction because your work is being disrupted.

what teachers have time to usher? And why should they? it sounds like a serious attitude problem with your kids, and is likely to be indicative of other problems with organisation and compliance. I don't think you are taking it seriously enough, particularly with your comment of suggesting it is up to teachers to "usher". Students who are regularly late end up in all sorts of other trouble

Kids, I’m fed up with constantly receiving messages saying you’re late to class. Either start being punctual, or the sanction at home will be x, y or z…

Honestly schools can't win. Parent your children

I'm sure the school would prefer not to be having to send the texts out in the first place, though.

I don't think you can just abdicate responsibility for how they choose to behave once you've dropped them off at the gate. After all, when children are involved in bullying other kids, the school liaises with their parents to find a solution - they don't just let it drop because the parents are not there on the premises during the day.

This is surely the right response?

Rather than asking the school to stop telling you when your DC are misbehaving and causing disruption? Being late to lessons can be really frustrating for the teachers and other kids.

YABU. There are hundreds and probably more than 1000 kids at this school and yours (along with others) aren't responding to "ushering" or remonstrations from teachers. They're disrupting lessons, which is unfair on their classmates and the teachers.

Sort your kids out by using sanctions.

Also, it's very unfair to say that the school shouldn't bother you because you're at your workplace and so you should be left undisturbed to get on with your work.

The teachers are in their workplace, and children who don't bother getting to lessons in time are preventing them from doing their job - which is to teach and not to herd wayward children.

I’d assume anything really urgent (like unwell child), they’d phone you for anyway, so I’d just ignore these messages until you’ve finished work.

SwingTheMonkey · Today 10:59
Kids, I’m fed up with constantly receiving messages saying you’re late to class. Either start being punctual, or the sanction at home will be x, y or z…”

This. An evening or two without Xbox, hobby, whatever, they’ll soon be on time.

And THEN sort the kids out in the evening.

You need to parent and stop abdicating responsibility for YOUR children.

They are letting you know so that when you're inevitably brought into a meeting and if it continues, prosecuted, you can't say you didn't know there were attendance issues.
But generally speaking, yes I hate all the endless emails from schools it got to a point where it felt like harassment a couple of years ago but I think someone had a word and they stick to emails now.

My view is that at secondary it's really down to the kid to sort this stuff out. As you say, parents should make it possible to be at school on time, do their homework, wear proper uniform etc. If they don't do the stuff they're supposed to do at school they need the consequences to be natural and school-based not their parents to tell them off or they are never going to be independent. Schools are encouraging parents to act like helicopters and that does nobody any favours! It's not about 'schools can't win' it's about 'schools doing their job' which is not only making sure their progress 8 score is alluring to new parents.

I agree with this. You're frustrated with the school, but not your kids? Is it all of them being late or one particular kid? Why? It could be a genuine issue eg one struggles with time keeping etc. or maybe all of them just expect a grown up to shepherd them along to things on time.

Texts* that was meant to say

I'm assuming that school has set up their system to message parents everytime a child receives a late mark on the register. This actually sounds like a good idea.

As above, why are your kids being constantly late to class? Ask them what they are doing. There will be members of staff normally SLT on duty during every lesson moping up students who aren't in lesson. They are probably 3or4 max they can't chase every student into class each lesson. They are normally dealing with the more serious issues.

Talk to your children, don't complain to the school.

No, if the child has an organisation or compliance issue, the parent needs to find out what the issue is. If it's all 3 children, there's a problem there.
In discussion, something may emerge which could be useful to find out about. No decent parent will just wash their hands.

Yes, I agree with this: either they 'never tell us about anything' or otherwise they're 'always bombarding us'.

PP is right that they aren't going to just ping you a message if there's a very serious issue and/or emergency - they would obviously call you. It's not going to be something that can't wait until your next break time... unless you would prefer them to call you every time and expect you to answer your phone then and there, before demanding that you explain yourself to them?!

The fact that 68% think YANBU shows why there are big discipline issues in schools now. YABU because it's highly disruptive to teacher and all pupils for kids to turn up late to lessons, so of course they should text you every time. It's your responsibility to parent your children and make sure they behave at school. The school is expecting you to do something about it.

You need to take this up with your kids.

Not the school

It's your kids responsibility to get their butts to class on time.

They are who is at fault here.

Teachers to usher 🤣they barely have time for a wee!

Does that apply with everything? Does the school get the right to decide whether your secondary-aged child is too ill to be in school, and take it out of your hands?

Do you leave them to fend for themselves for their evening meal? Maybe it's up to them to plan, buy and cook it; or if not, then it's the school's job?

This attitude is a huge problem in this country nowadays, where parents want all of the rights but none of the responsibilities of bringing up their own children. A secondary-aged child is (one would hope) more capable and responsible in a range of things than a little child would be, but they are still a child. Children need a lot of guidance, care and correction - and that is categorically what their parents are for. On the other hand, if you don't understand GCSE-level French verbs...? That is one that you can leave to the school, who will be more than happy to take the responsibility of helping your child.