To ask school to stop sending me these texts?

[SquiglePig]

I have 3 kids in same high-school.

They've started to send texts to parents everytime a child is late to a lesson, basically saying 'your child is late for lesson, please don't allow this to happen again etc'

My kids are never late to school in the mornings, ever.

It's my responsibility to get them into school on time, which I do.

I've had the discussion with them about getting to lessons on time but what can I actually do?

I feel like once they're on school grounds I don't really have physical control over how long it takes them to get to lessons even though I keep telling them.

Also it's not a text to my phone it's a text via the school messaging system which means I have to log in to see it.

I'm at work and I don't know if it's something important or not and have to check and I can get in trouble for being on my phone too much.

Please don't think this is me saying I have no responsibility over my children's behaviour in school, of course I do but I feel that I do not need to recieve a text every time one of them is late to arrive to a lesson when I've got them into school on time.

In my day there were teachers in the hall to usher kids to their lessons?

When the children are in school, the school is the parent. It's called being in loco parentis.

It doesn't mean the parent stops being the parent though.

It's not about supporting the school to tackle kids behaviour though it's about how the school communicate and I think that's a conversation worth having.

My previous job was a phones off at work job. I didn't because I have to be contactable by school and would have it on vibrate for emergencies. Like OP checking it several times a day for something that couldn't be dealt with until I got home would be a problem.

I would talk to school about how they communicate and maybe suggest you'd absolutely support detentions if it keeps happening.

DD's school use actual texts and emails for whole school emergencies. Achievements, behaviour points and random emails use to just come through the app, but they changed it last year so the child gets notified through the app and mum and dad get an appropriately titled email. Much better.

I voted YANBU as one of the 68% purely due to communication by the school. I absolutely agree OP should be talking to her kids when she gets home and supporting sanctions.

This is the correct solution to the OP's problem.

What it means is that the school assumes the authority and responsibilities of the parent whilst the children are at school.

In short, the school is responsible for ensuring that the children get to lessons on time.

OP, take this to the Local Education Authority and get this sorted. The school is being unreasonable.

Why on earth would the LEA get involved?

@TeaGinandFags - she can't abdicate responsibility

In my day it was always the same 3 or 4 lads who were late to every lesson. They always walked in stinking of cigarette smoke with a flimsy excuse for the teacher to digest

My suggestion would be to confiscate their vapes for a week whenever you receive one of these messages

I'm with the school on this one.

Are you or your DH/DP people who are frequently late for things, do you set an example? Or are you like the former Arsenal footballer who had the captaincy removed because of his habitual lateness?

Agree with this

If it's an LA school (rather than academy), they'd simply refer the parent back to the school. They'd tell her/him to use the complaints procedure.

But schools are completely within their rights to inform parents if their children are late to lessons. The parent's job is to ask their children WHY. Teachers know that some children have further to go to the next lesson, may have had games and so on. But they also know which children are taking the piss by arriving some time after classmates who were in the SAME previous lesson.

Ignore the messages until evening (if something was urgent I assume they phone instead?)

The point of the messages is to keep you informed of your dcs disruptive behaviour issues.

How often is it happening, why is it happening so often, and what consequences have you put in place at home to support the school? Do your bit to stop them arriving late to class and you will stop getting the messages.

In short, the school is responsible for ensuring that the children get to lessons on time.

Please share your thoughts on how this can be achieved. The school will be so grateful.

It is your job to teach your children manners. Put simply being late is down right bloody rude and disrespectful.

It would not be tolerated in the work place.

Stop abdicating your responds to parent your kids.

You need to tell your kids to go to their lessons on time, that’s the real issue here. If they do that then you won’t receive the annoying text messages - it’s not rocket science.

I'm surprised the kids aren't getting detention as well. You need to be informed that they are being disruptive and there should be consequence from the school as well I think. Time for a sit down and telling them that they need to get sorted out and this should stop.

I wonder if the pp envisages trained sheepdogs herding classes from room to room?

I'm also wryly amused by the pp saying "school should just issue a detention", especially given how often we get threads where a parent complains about their child being given detention because it makes life more difficult for them.

Parent your kids. Teach them how to behave, respect for others, understanding consequences. You're coming across like a sullen teen whose behaviour is being called out. Deal with them.

op, you realise Most children are never late for a single lesson, ever?

Discipline within schools has to be a collaborative effort between parents and teachers. I’m sure the teachers do have school sanctions and teachers chivvying the kids along and a bell etc to help the kids get to lessons on time. When those things don’t work and the kids are still late, they’re texting you so that you can also sanction the kids and hopefully with everyone on their case they might start arriving on time.

I don’t agree with the posters who are saying teachers are there only to teach - that’s never been the case. School isn’t just about academic learning, schools are there to help kids to prepare for working life more generally after school, which includes learning being punctual.

@SirAlfredSpatchcock

Do you leave them to fend for themselves for their evening meal? Maybe it's up to them to plan, buy and cook it; or if not, then it's the school's job?

This is a weird analogy. Surely the analogy would be the parent texting the teacher to tell them the child hasn't eaten their greens, left food on their plate, didn't do the washing up.

Schools and parents both have a very important role in bringing up children, and they should back each other up.

Continued lateness for lessons? Raise it with the parent and implement a plan (or discipline the child at school and expect the parent to back it up).

Serious food refusal at home? Maybe it needs discussing with school.

But there's an obvious division of responsibility -- schools are in loco parentis during the day, parents at night. Who can actually do something about it at the time?

Constant messaging is annoying I think. "Back in the day" there's no way parents would get a barrage of real time updates about minor things happening at school. School would deal, or if there was a persistent problem, they'd contact the parents to raise it and a conversation would happen. I don't think the fact automatic comms are possible means they're always the right solution. I mean one answer might be to have a home sanction but it's a very sanction -heavy way of parenting. I'm not sure what it's teaching in the longer term. I suppose you could have a chat and find out what's behind the constant lateness OP and then open a dialogue with the school if there's anything that needs accommodations to be made, but that could also have happened without the constant automatic updates annoying you at work.

But OP specifically said 'to stop sending me THESE texts'. She didn't say ALL texts, nor highlight any other subjects about which she objected to being informed.

I think you need to talk to your kids about why punctuality is important.

Just stay logged in to the app, it's not that much effort to look at a text and get your kids to be on time

Can you even imagine how much time and effort it would take for the school to set up a system where parents can pick and choose what kind of texts they are happy to receive?