To jack in my ‘good graduate job’ and change direction at 24?

[BitterAndJaded]

I was extremely fortunate to fall into ‘a good graduate job’ straight after a Masters at the age of 22. I’d done some work experience there and was offered the position without having to apply or even look at anything else. Totally unlike everyone else I know who went to masses of assessment centre days and interviews only to receive multiple rejections, meanwhile having to do low level work in bars and call centres to support themselves.

Honestly though, two years in I’m hating it. The work involves doing research for the public sector and it simply isn’t anything I have any interest in at all. I spend whole days in a room on my own crunching statistics and it is mind-numbing. I truly feel like I am starting to become depressed as I am losing the motivation even to get out of bed in the morning. I doubt I am ever going to be able to get significant promotion here as I just can’t seem to get engaged with it at all (not that there’s potential to ever make big money anyway).

Admittedly I took the job partly because it meant being able to stay on in the small town where I’d studied. At the time this seemed very attractive as I felt settled here and was slightly in love with it. However all my friends have now moved on for jobs elsewhere (mostly London which I confess I find daunting), my student boyfriend and I are ancient history, I’m no longer part of the university scene and there’s not really a lot else. Dating prospects are frankly crap as it’s so small and the demographic is just all wrong (mostly older people who are already settled basically, other than a handful of PhD students).

My parents have been devastated though when I’ve talked about wanting to move on. They think of me as nicely settled here and onto something good. When I tell them how incredibly dull I find the work they say I am expecting too much. My generation’s expectation that jobs should ‘feed our souls’ is unrealistic. My father stayed in a job for over 25 years which he never much liked so that he could support us all, yet he didn’t complain. It would be realistic to think I could manage to buy a flat here in a few more years which would not be the case in London or many other places. Isn’t it worth hanging on for that?

Yet there are moments where I wonder whether I can keep going even one more day here. AIBU?

Do some research and find out exactly what you do need to get to where you want to go and push your manager now, for opportunities now. Also funding for courses , being allowed to be involved in other projects. Our firm will send trainees to our accountants for a 1/2 day. Use their contacts to let trainees shadow a client for 1 day. Some love their ego being rubbed by another firm asking them to shadow them for a day or 2. (Not possible in all jobs I appreciate, but if you don't ask, don't push, don't explore, make the mistake of current whilst investigating other jobs).

Plus you asked about 5 year experience. Start now! Make the last year sound better than it was on your cv. Plus some women only apply for a job when they've got 99% of the experience, men often wing it and often don't have a lot of the criteria but it doesn't stop them applying. Take the male attitude!

I’m thinking now that I maybe do need to go travelling, just to shake things up and get some perspective, as I don’t want to make the same mistake and find myself stuck on another path which doesn’t feel quite right. I’m struggling to find anything I feel passionate enough about to really commit to.

My brother is reading medicine, absolutely loves it and it feels like his whole life is mapped out, which doesn’t help.

Honestly travelling was the best thing ever. And it’s not a waste on your cv.

Travelling is great, and you don’t have to do a year backpacking to get the benefits.

Even a month or 6 weeks will refresh your mindset.

I'm afraid it's too late now.

Once you reach the ripe old age of 24, your pathway through life is set and there's nothing you can do about it

Go travelling. Best thing ever. Never met anyone who regretted it.

OP it is clear your main goal is to have kids. Just be careful. Establish yourself first in a good career. Find good friends. Don’t focus everything on finding a man to support you so you can have children. That will probably happen for you but it’s a risky goal to pursue at the expense of your career and social life.

Relationships can be difficult, children can have all sorts of needs. Be realistic about the future. At your age you need to think about your job and friends and personal growth. Not settling down with kids just yet. Once you are happier in your job and plans then the rest should come more easily.

If you want to go travelling, does your organisation offer sabbaticals? If so why not consider applying for one. That way you can go travelling whilst making your parents happy in that you return to the same job. Meanwhile the travelling may give you time to think about what you actually want to do and you can get that sorted out when you return. Even if it's another year in the job, you'll have a plan in mind.

And just as an aside, my DH (albeit 35 years ago) saw a job overseas advertised. He was feeling similar to you - nice, steady job working locally to his home town, nice set of friends but he was bored.

So he applied and ended up living in the Far East for 4 years. It completely changed his career path, he's lived all over the world for 6 months to a year at a time on the back of that job and was on four times his other company's salary by the time he returned. He's still in touch with the people he met in that first assignment and is so confident travelling - nothing fazes him.

A few years ago our DNephew got in contact to say he'd been offered the chance of going overseas to start up a new office for the company he worked for and he wanted his uncle's thoughts as he'd lived overseas. He was torn between a fantastic opportunity and 'what if it goes wrong'.

DH's first words were 'do it, you can always come home'. So DNephew did. He's lived in three countries so far, works for the same company but is now in charge of a huge section and is now married! Loves his job and living overseas has opened his eyes to so many cultures and ideas.

Sometimes an itch needs to be scratched. What's the worst that can happen? You end up coming back or moving back with your tail between your legs. Does it matter?

It's your life.
Start planning your escape.

...It's served It's purpose, and now things have changed.

Good luck 😊💐

Definitely my biggest priority though is being able to have a family

You're 24. Why are you so fixed on this to the extent that you're making decisions about some decision you may make in 6 years time? It doesn't really take any level of skill to have a family - in the sense that you could jack in the job, have a one night stand, spend your life on benefits - you'd be a family.

Sort out your life, career, relationship strategies etc. Get those right and happy families will follow. Don't fixate on the other way round.

Your stage/age of life is EXACTLY the right time to make a change! It all gets rather more complicated once you settle, especially if/when husband and kids.

Dont quit without something to go to, but spend the next few months thinking and planning what you’d really like to do. You aren’t expecting too much to want to be happy and fulfilled in what you do.

A rut may be fur lined but it still can be a rut. The idea of defined paths is very outdated- jobs for life are pretty much a thing of the past. Multiple careers in a lifetime, portfolio careers etc are the way things happen.
There is a whole world out there. Go and have some adventures- spend weekends in london, get out of your comfort zone.
”but what if I fall? But what if you fly?”

At 24, I had a career, a car, a commute - and I just felt smothered. Also a graduate job that I'd landed well before graduation without much conscious planning. Father equally horrified that I would leave it. I was already in London! But it felt so anonymous, expensive, dirty, depressing.

I jacked it in and got on a plane. Travelled some time with friends and on my own, took time to think what I wanted. I moved to a totally different city which I had always liked, and where I had good friends. Having a few years' work experience helped to get another job and I built up from there. I never lived another day in London and I never regretted leaving my secure graduate job. You are only young once, don't live someone else's idea of a "good life". Figure out what you want.

Gone are the days when people had one job for life, long gone. In fact I'm surprised at your DF's experience of 25 yrs in one job.

It sounds like you've gone from school to uni to job without taking breath in-between and without the experience of some big city lights. No one ever died wishing they'd spent more time in the office ! Please don't live the life your parents want - make it your own.

So at 24 with no responsibilities is the time to spread your wings and see what's in the rest of the world.
So some ideas -
draw up a bucket list of the places you would like to visit, things you would like to do, then start ticking some of them off that list - go whale watching off Alaska, swim with dolphins, whatever.

You can stay in the job, use it as a way to fund the experiences, or with a few under your bucket, plan a longer trip away. Take all your annual leave in one go, add on some unpaid leave and drive route 66, walk the Pennine way, whatever .

sign up for overseas work with an NGO

make an appointment with the national Careers service - https://nationalcareers.service.gov.uk/

You don't have to get a job in London - there's Manchester, Birmingham, Leeds, Newcastle, Glasgow, you get my drift

Decide to do something - anything to get you out of your rut by your next birthday. Even if it's next week. In fact definitely if it's next week. Take an action today - it doesn't have to be a massive change, but oh please live a little.

I’d agree with deciding what you want before you leave your job but two years is a decent length of time with your first job. Just make sure you’re not just tired an a week off wouldn’t help- it’s the old thing of working to live- ie if you’re doing well you’ll have money to do things you enjoy outside work and do can put up with work to a certain extent.

Parents will never understand because they’re worried about you losing the benefits that come from a secure job, Id be the same but cheered on my niece when she left an amazing college course to go work with horses so it all depends! Best of luck x

The Office for National Statistics has places in Edinburgh, Manchester, Darlington, Newport and Titchfield as well as London.

First of all, ignore your parents. Yes they want the best for you but this clearly isn’t the best! Change is daunting but it’s absolutely worth it, even if you do have to take a side or back step to get where you want.

Personally I think travelling or working abroad is a brilliant idea - I wish I’d done it at your age, instead I’m catching up on all the travel I never did now and I’m 10 years older!

Where do you think you want to move, and what is it about London that scares you? The size, the seemingly endless opportunities, finding somewhere to live? There is a lot of opportunity in London but do you have to chase it quite doggedly. That said, London isn’t the be all and end all. Manchester has lots going for it, Leeds has a really vibrant creative/digital sector, Bristol is also great, both are smaller than London and possibly easier to navigate. With a statistics background I’d imagine there are lots of options open to you in the private sector if you wanted to go down that route, like analyst roles in various guises.

I agree you do need to do some strategic thinking and planning about what kind of thing you’d like to do and look into free online courses to get started before spending money on retraining. I’ve done a couple of similar career pivots (albeit not in your sector) without having to get extra quals so feel free to PM me for advice you want!)

Have you thought about going into educational psychology? There's massive demand for it currently.

Information about how to qualify here.
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Based on how you have described your current job, OP, you could probably transition quite easily into doing Evaluation and Social research.

Have a look at places like Ipsos, Verian, IFF, Nat Cen, etc. You could probably join at SRE level with your current experience without having to do a brand new grad scheme.

These companies are all in London though.

I'm a new-ish EFL teacher in my early 30s and it's not a cop out, BUT in your situation I would only recommend doing it if you think you might actually want to be a teacher long term (some form of teacher anyway, not necessarily in a UK school). Teaching is tiring, you'll have a lot of evening and weekend work as you're mostly working around your students' work/school hours, it rarely pays well unless you're properly qualified and have been doing it for a few years, and moving overseas is really expensive even if you're going to a cheap country. Depending where you are, you'll probably be living a student-ish lifestyle in houseshares or rented studio apartments, which might feel like a step back if you're already settled and potentially in a position to buy a flat, and you might only be entitled to a much smaller amount of annual leave than in the UK. It's not the kind of thing you can do while barely working and spending each weekend on a different tropical beach, despite the popular perception, but it's also not really rated by most UK employers because it is seen by many people as a doss. If you do it just because you don't have any better ideas, you're going to end up spending a lot of your savings to be in the same position a year or two from now, only now with a messier CV, no pension contributions and even more stress about having 'wasted' that time.

On the other hand, if you do like the job then it has the potential to be an actual career. If you're reasonably talented and willing to stick at it for a while then it's not too hard to land a decent paying job and/or a management position, because so many of your colleagues will be people who are just looking for a 1-2 year adventure or want a job that lets them hop countries without being fussed about progression. There are routes back to the UK as well - if you have a few years' experience teaching adults you can work for the Home Office assessing people's English for immigration applications, for example. I think I'd like to stay in this field for life, and I only wish I'd started at 24 instead of basically giving up everything to start an entry level job in my 30s!

Agreed. My point really is that my current job ties me to a small town with not great dating prospects. I feel like the next few years are the prime time for meeting a compatible life partner and wouldn’t want location to mean I miss out on that.

In fact for ONS you are unlikely to get a London based job, the HQ is Newport, Wales with Titchfield near Southampton the other big one. Although if you are doing data analysis you can (choose) to be based at any office. You are also a Civil Servant and can apply for "intern" type time at other departments.

Yes actually. This is probably the thing I am most drawn to currently. Or research in that area.

I’ve always babysat lots. I’d need to find a full-time role with children though to be able to apply for the doctorate. Not sure what. I’m tempted to do a PGCE as a route to that but don’t want to find I can’t then get on to a doctorate course and get stuck with another career I didn’t really want. I keep hearing that competition is incredibly stiff. I should probably start anew thread specifically on this.

@AskNotForWhomTheBellCurves Thanks for typing all that up. It makes me realise I actually don’t think that would suit be.