To jack in my ‘good graduate job’ and change direction at 24?

[BitterAndJaded]

I was extremely fortunate to fall into ‘a good graduate job’ straight after a Masters at the age of 22. I’d done some work experience there and was offered the position without having to apply or even look at anything else. Totally unlike everyone else I know who went to masses of assessment centre days and interviews only to receive multiple rejections, meanwhile having to do low level work in bars and call centres to support themselves.

Honestly though, two years in I’m hating it. The work involves doing research for the public sector and it simply isn’t anything I have any interest in at all. I spend whole days in a room on my own crunching statistics and it is mind-numbing. I truly feel like I am starting to become depressed as I am losing the motivation even to get out of bed in the morning. I doubt I am ever going to be able to get significant promotion here as I just can’t seem to get engaged with it at all (not that there’s potential to ever make big money anyway).

Admittedly I took the job partly because it meant being able to stay on in the small town where I’d studied. At the time this seemed very attractive as I felt settled here and was slightly in love with it. However all my friends have now moved on for jobs elsewhere (mostly London which I confess I find daunting), my student boyfriend and I are ancient history, I’m no longer part of the university scene and there’s not really a lot else. Dating prospects are frankly crap as it’s so small and the demographic is just all wrong (mostly older people who are already settled basically, other than a handful of PhD students).

My parents have been devastated though when I’ve talked about wanting to move on. They think of me as nicely settled here and onto something good. When I tell them how incredibly dull I find the work they say I am expecting too much. My generation’s expectation that jobs should ‘feed our souls’ is unrealistic. My father stayed in a job for over 25 years which he never much liked so that he could support us all, yet he didn’t complain. It would be realistic to think I could manage to buy a flat here in a few more years which would not be the case in London or many other places. Isn’t it worth hanging on for that?

Yet there are moments where I wonder whether I can keep going even one more day here. AIBU?

Your parents thoughts and feelings shouldn’t be a high priority.

To be fair to them, whatever you do you it’d be good to make sure that will not need to live with or have any further support from them financially. That is primarily what stopped me from travelling at your age, like most people I had limited funds and prioritised financial independence - others made different choices and took more financial risk and were fine too!

London has pros and cons, housing costs and instability topping the latter. It has loads and loads of good jobs. There are many other options too.

Travelling or working abroad could be fun, but you would still have the problem of uncertainty on what jobs you might prefer and it will be harder whilst abroad and having left a ‘graduate’ job to get a good job for your return, both due to practicality and your CV.

Another option would be to work out what you might prefer, apply for that somewhere you know people or might like to live, and try that first. You sound overly negative about your prospects to secure another good job.

Jobs in the civil service are across a very broad range of sectors and many graduate trainee positions are outside the 'very competitive new grad scheme', which I assume is the fast track.

Look on civil service jobs for EO, HEO and SEO posts outside London with some key words that reflect your interests and qualifications.

We (specialist technical roles) don't ask those questions on the application form either but ask for qualifications and a personal statement about how we match the person specification and details of relevant experience and skills.

Have you spoken to your employers about your job. Is there anything they can do to improve it.

Do some grad jobs only accept fairly recent graduates? Is that a thing?

Right the first thing to do with your nest egg is book some counselling. Work out why you have such low self esteem, what you feel passionate about and how to break free from your parents'over influence
(I listened to my parents about your age, didn't do a gap year, didn't go into law because you live on air for a few years. I recognise that whole "we worked in 1 job" thing.
Don't berate yourself for decisions you made at 22. But do move forward now with gusto.
Your fertility starts to fall off a cliff about 30. I'm not assuming you want kids - but if you do you have plenty of time to change your life.

Thanks. My degree is in psychology and I work in social research.

I fear I am becoming depressed. I used to share a flat with two friends and we had a great time. They’re long gone though and I now live here with two randoms who are basically fine but we have little in common beyond and barely talk to each other these days beyond the basic niceties. I feel like I’m always on my own these days. Last night was Saturday and I stayed in as I don’t know anyone here to go out with anymore and have outgrown all the old student haunts anyway. I’m the youngest in my office and, whilst virtually everyone is lovely, they’re all at different life stages.

OK so your qualifications and Cv will give you many job options, which is great!

in the short term you could focus on things to help you feel better whilst you make big decisions - eg you seem lonely, so could visit friends for a day or weekend, try to meet new people, schedule nice things to do.

you could research many options.

This is really good to know. Thank you. Am I right in thinking though that the next step up from graduate entry generally requires you to have at least five years relevant experience?

If I were going to change jobs, requiring actual retraining, I’d save up a years worth of expenses beforehand. I’d want to be able to focus on the training, without the pressure of running out of cash. You know - give it my all, and all that.

what about the civil service in an area that you don’t do? It’s an opportunity for a whole fresh start, so try not to look at it through the lens of your current job. You would like to travel - what about the foreign office? Do any of your skills (not tasks) map over to a role there?

Could you develop project management skills (or sell yourself as having them)? Many private companies need a good project manager to keep things on track.

and if you prefer to travel - how about getting one of those visas for Australia that lets you go and work there for a while. Would you qualify?

in the current economy, i wouldn’t easily walk away from a good job. However, I know what it’s like to be trapped in one you dislike and you do in that case need to plan an exit.

I hope the university careers centre is helpful.

You are terrified because of your parents attitude. They are also terrified of you moving out. Moving on. But that's not enough of a reason to keep you shackled where you are. At 24 you have so much life ahead of you. Yet your username is @BitterAndJaded. That's incredibly sad. If you were 44 and 20 years in a job that didn't interest you then that username would be appropriate.

You will be scared. Of course you will. But everyone is at first. It will be the making of you to move out and move away. I 100% understand your parents position. My teenagers are fast approaching university, adulthood, working life etc and I can't say I'm not a little apprehensive about them heading out into the world. But my job as a parent is to get them to the point where they feel ready to move on. I mightn't like it, but that's how life is supposed to go. I would be failing in my role if I held on to them and discouraged them from finding their own path and forced them to stay close and dependent on us. You are still dependent on your parents. You are dependent on their approval. You don't need it, and honestly you are unlikely to get it. So that means you need to stand up for yourself and make those decisions regardless of your parents.

Nobody said being an adult was easy 😉. This is your first challenge. You can do it and your parents can too. This is your first step now where you have to relate to them as an adult, an equal, rather than as a child who needs their approval.

Good luck. As the mother of a young adult I wish you nothing but good. Don't be still stuck there in your 40s. Please.

Do you mean ‘grade 7’? If so then there isn’t specified minimum experience and roles vary a lot but it can be competitive. If it appealed to you it’d be much more likely you’d get a job to enter at HEO level and seek to do well and progress.

Can you access any low cost careers services?

Also - while you plan, start a non competitive hobby that requires in person attendance with people your own age. It’s hard to make friends when you leave uni/school.

I agree - get out into the world! I really don’t know anyone who stays put in a job at this age. There’s years to find what you really want.

It doesn't sound remotely like that. OP move jobs! Start looking, make a plan. London is just a city like any other. But you already know people there who can put feelers out for rooms in house shares. Do it.

Yes lots of people do a job simply as an ends to a means. But you have no family to support, and a degree which means actually you can and should set your sights higher and aim for a job you enjoy. Otherwise what was the point of the degree.

You are in such a good situation. You've recognised you need change but you need to hone down on what you want rather than what you don't want. Honestly 2 years experience in a good job at your age is gold dust. You will have many options open to you.

What is it about travelling that's going to help you? Do you know? Because at the moment your posts are just coming across as running away.

What is so terrifying about London? Loads and loads of people spend their 20s there, figuring out what they want to do and getting work experience. The whole city is set up for it, and for meeting other 20 somethings too. It's basically lots of small areas that have coalesced into 1 big place. With excellent transport. Go see your friends and find an area you like, then set about finding a flatshare. You don't have to stay there forever, a lot of people end up leaving in their 30s for various reasons.

Figure this stuff out. Figure out what you do want rather than what you don't and you'll find so many open doors.

I’m going to show this to my 24 yr old, beautifully said.

Sounds like the people around you are the thing that's the biggest problem just now. Not the job surprisingly!

Start looking at options. Can you meet up with your old pals or whatever a bit more. Join a club or organisation to meet friends etc. Go into the office one day a week. Get a new flatshare.

If you do leave your post perhaps you could take a career break for a year so you have something in reserve to come back to?

If you want to travel bows the time though.

What type of work would you like to do? Is there a particular sector that you think you’d enjoy working in? Don’t assume that you either have to stay where you are or move to London. Listen to pp who suggest moving to a northern city, as one of my DC did this and was able to think about buying their own home straight away.

I was 24 when I left a ‘good’ job for something that I actually wanted to do, but I planned it for 6 months before I did it. It’s one of the best decisions I made almost 40 years ago!

No, it's all about your aptitude for the job and there's an element of luck in taking opportunities as they arise.

I searched for psychology as a keyword on civil service jobs for EO, HEO and SEO positions and there's a few jobs that come up in prisons.

Some of these are for registered psychologist which I assume that you don't qualify for but there are several jobs like 'interventions facilitator' which looks like assessing prisoners for appropriate treatment programmes.

www.civilservicejobs.service.gov.uk/csr/index.cgi?SID=c2VhcmNoc29ydD1zY29yZSZvd25lcj01MDcwMDAwJmpvYmxpc3Rfdmlld192YWM9MTkxMTA3NiZvd25lcnR5cGU9ZmFpciZzZWFyY2hwYWdlPTEmdXNlcnNlYXJjaGNvbnRleHQ9ODM2MjcwNjQmcGFnZWNsYXNzPUpvYnMmcGFnZWFjdGlvbj12aWV3dmFjYnlqb2JsaXN0JnJlcXNpZz0xNzE3OTE5MDU5LWYzMzY1Y2U2YmI3N2ZhOWM2OTY2M2FlMGY1NTE3MzU2NWVhOThkMGU=

24 is right at the start of your career, you have so many options available to you but I get that it feels daunting to move from where you are.

I would try to extract as much value as you can from your current job - are there opportunities to take on more responsibility, like leading a project, starting a new team? Will they pay for qualifications or training? Upskill yourself on their £ if you can, it may even lead you to new opportunities within your organisation

You may also want to talk to a recruitment consultant, they can work out where you’d be a good fit.

and Re civil service jobs - I’ve never come across time in post as a requirement at all, don’t let how long you’ve been working put you off a role. The old fast stream lasted 4 years (ish) and afterwards you move to grade 7. So you can absolutely aim for HEO/SEO posts with 2 years experience.

Don't be silly. She's only 24! She doesn't like her job and doesn't like the town she's in anymore.

There's absolutely no reason for her to stay put.

OP, what would be your absolute dream job if you could do anything in the world?

Your fertility most certainly does not "fall off a cliff" at 30. Don't spread misinformation. It slowly starts to decline at 30 then speeds up at 35.
OP I have had 3 major careers in my life, changed most recently at 42. At 24 I was travelling the world and not giving a fuck about a career. I may not be a top earner (though earn above average) but my life has been very interesting and fulfilling. I would take that over lots of money.

Thanks everyone. I suppose I naively thought myself when I was first offered the job that I’d hit the jackpot. My life was sorted, I could stay and work my way up here and completely avoid that awful phase of having to go for masses of demoralising interviews whilst working evenings in a pub. In some ways my lifestyle here is very good. The flat is nice, I can walk into town, yet I also have a car and can drive to work and park right outside. In London I’d realistically be out on a limb somewhere fairly grotty with a long commute in on the tube probably.

If I were still with my ex and we were in a position to buy a flat here together in the not too distant future (which once upon a time seemed like a possibility) I think things would be different and I could tolerate the job. We could do things together and go on trips, which would make work life feel less important. It would be an atttactive place to raise a family eventually and I could focus on that. Does that sound crazy?

Get looking OP! You spend a lot of your time at work and although very few jobs are fun all the time your work shouldn't be making you depressed. You don't have ties so you're flexible to relocate, retrain, and take a pay cut with a view to building up your earning power again soon. It's the perfect time of life to dip your toe into a few things to find the best fit.

I'm 46 and have fallen out of love with my main job (I have a sessional job that I love but will not be able to do more than 2 days weekly) but have financial and geographical ties blocking off some options. But I'm still having a really good think about a significant pay cut to change careers, as the thought of grinding it out for another 20 years is not appealing.

Ah sweetheart you are bored in work and lonely outside of it, no wonder you feel depressed. You are doing the right thing to recognise this and think about what to change.

There will always be houses for sale and there will always be careers to follow. You can spend money on travelling and then earn more money in future, you have skills and talent so there is always another payday on the horizon. (Maybe don’t use the phrase ‘low level’ jobs though. Every job is important regardless of salary.)

I think society makes young adults feel they must be on this particular conveyor belt and never step off, or you will miss an opportunity to ‘get on’.

My advice is if you want to go travelling, bloody well do it. You have done uni, a masters, Covid era, a boring job… now fucking go and see the world!!

It’s great you have recognised you want something different to the life you have now. Make sure you are thinking about what it is YOU want, not what your parents think, not what you have seen other peers do. But about what you think could work for you. There are plenty of cities outside of London to consider too, Leeds, Manchester, Liverpool, Newcastle, Bristol, Cardiff to name a few! I never understood the obsession with the place myself 😀

agree with PP that the civil service could be a good place to start. I started in the GSS as an EO years ago and worked up to SEO within 5 years. Wasn’t on fast track or anything like that, but those opportunities are there if you wanted them! Working as a badged professional in the civil service is great as you get exposure to a vast array of subjects, some roles will be super interesting, others less so, but that’s just life. Keep in mind, many people don’t start off in their “dream job”, it can take a little while to get there and you have to forge the path yourself. I left CS after a decade and am now working in an industry I love in a job I never would have thought I could do if I saw it on paper.

Here is a link to the GSS site, your skills sound like a great fit so have a look and see if its something you might be interested in

https://analysisfunction.civilservice.gov.uk/careers/joining-the-analysis-function/

Good luck!