Did you grow up calling your parents by their first names?

[annaak]

I had a friend in primary school whose family did this - her Mum and Dad were always Sarah and Rick to their kids. My Mum used to hate it, she thought it was really affected. It really bothered her for some reason!

They weren’t especially hippy people, just quite relaxed middle class artsy parents (lots of music lessons and drama classes etc. in their house). I always quite liked the vibe of it and wondered if I would do the same with my own kids one day.

Anyway, got me wondering did any of you grow up doing this, or are any of you bringing up your children this way? Did you/do you find people are weird about it?

I did - with my father by his first name all my siblings did - just a thing we were brought up with - they did divorce when I was 7 -

Always reminds me David and Gail Platt off Corrie!

I became an aunt in my teens and insisted on my first name only as felt "Aunty ..." made me sound very old! That has stuck now I'm much older.

I had a friend at my (state) primary school who called her parents by their first names. She and her siblings had very ‘out there’ middle class names for the early 80s. I think they were musical and artsy too. My DM also found it affected as I recall!

I was only “auntie Lorelei” when my nieces and nephews were toddlers and I don’t call my aunt and uncle “auntie/uncle name” - never have.

My DC does. They started when they were 3 calling my DH by his name which upset him but they said it’s his name and they liked it and it was cute. They call us both by our names, or actually my nickname now. Doesn’t bother us in the slightest - did we want or encourage it? No. But do we accept and respect that they want to use our names? Yes - although we still refer to each other as mum and dad weirdly (like go ask your dad, mum wants you etc) It works for our family but does occasionally raise eyebrows and horrified gasps from others sometimes who would never let their child be ‘so disrespectful’ (true story!)

Born in 94 and used First names for both of my parents since I was early primary age, I clocked onto the fact that others called them by their Christian names and thought why would I call them any different to that?
They weren't bothered, my mums parents were hugely bothered though. If my son was to call me by my first name it would feel a little odd I must admit.

It did have the consequence of people thinking I was adopted but my mum also said that if I ever rang her (as a teen) and said "hi mum" she would know something was up as this would be out of character for me!

Never, it was and still is mum and dad and I'm in my 50s now.

My brother when he was a pain in the arse teen tried it with my dad. It only happened once.

Ours (17 and 22) call us mum and dad.

I know someone who calls her mother by her first name. For the mother it's 100% a vanity thing. She gets off on being mistaken for her daughter's sister. It's one of her main topics of conversation.

The thing is - they are clearly related, they look so similar. And when the younger one calls the older one by the first name, it's a fairly natural assumption, despite the age difference. You should see her face when she gets asked if she is my friends aunt, which happens more often than she'd like. Funnily enough, she never mentions that 😆

From the age of 12 I called my dad by his first name ( I lived with both parents) and carried on all the way til my late 20s. He's still in my phone under his first name. I think it came about because he'd always take my friends and I out to places and they'd obviously call him James, so I did the same

I was born in the 1960s to Teenage hippy parents.

I called my mum - mummy and my dad by his name

So I lived with mummy and Bob- apparently it caused a few raised eyebrows.

When I was five my brother was born and I started calling my dad 'daddy'

Ive no clue where it came from but I called my dad by his first name but my mum, mum. I think my mum said his name a lot and I just copied. Neither discouraged it so it stuck. It was well ingrained by the time I started middle school (age 9) and because I’d refer to him by his name rather than my dad, I was teased; ppl thought he wasn’t my biological dad. When I insisted he was it’d cause an argument & bullying. So that stopped. Or at least at school he was ‘my dad’. At home he was still his first name. I don’t recall calling my mum by her first name, but maybe I did and middle school quashed it. It’s quite long with no short version so ‘mum’ would be easier at home too.
Interestingly my middle daughter (19) has very recently (in the last 2 years) started to both call and refer to me by my first name. She’s done this with DH since she was around 15/16 but a shorter version of his name. He was ‘bro’ for a while too! My other two DDs (20 & 15) still call us mum & dad. Thinking about it, she’s called me varying versions of ‘mum’ over the years. All as a teenager; it was mummy/mum & daddy/dad prior to teens.
Doesnt bother any of us. Sometimes our friends or family will comment ‘did she just call you NotDonna?’ seemingly shocked and slightly disapproving. Maybe they see it as disrespectful. I don’t, they are our names after all, and we don’t call her ‘daughter’.

I did this for my entire childhood (so they were never anything but their names). Some of these responses are bizarre, an suggest a lot of insecurity if their parental relationship hinges on a name. For me and my brother, it was because we had a childhood nanny who used their names, so it was normal to us. Once we knew their names, we weren't going to call them Mum or Dad when we know they are actually Janet and Steve! We were strong willed children, and not willing to call them the 'wrong' thing!

Some people in person did react as weirdly as people on here. The worst was after my parents split up, my father had a gf who found it so weird, she would call him dad to try to encourage us to. Like 'can you pass this to dad?'. I really don't understand why it matters to anyone.

My son can call me whatever he wants (as long as it's not offensive), but he's 11 weeks so can't talk yet!

My parents were always mummy/daddy or mum and dad - I'm 35 now and they're still mum and dad.

Always called my parents by their first names until my mid 20s when for no reason I can recall we all started to call them mum/dad

my cousins kids called them by name but they were young and I guess following fashions and trends!
I always called mum and dad just that right up until their last day on earth.
mum and dads friends were always auntie and uncle still are

I have three children. The youngest calls DH and I by our first names - DS started calling DH by his first name when he was about 4 and then using my first name when he was about 6.

I came across it as an adult and I think it's brilliant. I actually think using the parents name is more special once the child isn't little any more. It confers respect, which I don't feel I get as a 'mummy'. Both DC are teens and I'd be very happy for them to start calling me drooly instead of mummy at this stage.

We don't use 'aunty' etc either.

An ex of mine had parents who taught him to call them by their first names. When he asked them why (when an adult), they said they always wanted to be their children’s friend rather than a parent. He had quite a bit of resentment over it.

My boyfriend when I was 17 did this. Him and his brother both did. I thought he was adopted at first!

They were a normal working class family.

He wasn’t sure why they called them by their first names. Just said they always had.

We did with our parents. I hated it then, hate it now but I'm an adult and it's too late to stop now. My husband tried at first to refer to me as my first name to our daughter because he found it a bit silly calling me mummy but I made it clear I didn't want her to call me by my first name (which also happens to be a name I don't like). It might sound a bit dramatic but I'd be devastated if she started calling me by my first name.

@WilliamButt why did you hate it? Did they say you couldn’t call them mum & dad?
I think that’s the thing here. Forcing a child to call you something rather than allowing them to go with the flow. Works both ways mum & dad OR first names. I don’t think force suggests a great relationship.

They never forced anything but they taught us their first names instead of any version of mum and dad. We didn't spend much time with other children and by the time I went to school it was ingrained in me and I didn't feel I could change it. It was another thing that set me apart from other children. I think my parents enjoyed being unconventional but I really hated being different.

Obviously I'm not going to force my child to do anything but it would be really upsetting to me if she called me by my first name. I wouldn't make her feel bad if she did, but it would just be difficult for me.

I grew up calling my parents by their first names. I don't think they planned it, they just didn't make much effort to call each other mummy / daddy when I was little, so I heard them calling each other by their first names and copied it, then they didn't bother to correct me. I did use grandma / granny etc. for grandparents, and aunty / uncle, like "normal"

I honestly can't understand why it's such a big deal or why people get worked up about it. I don't feel it makes much difference or ever has.

I didn't, would have felt so weird to call them by their names. We did call my dad 'The Rev.' instead of dad sometimes when talking about him though.
We called our aunties and uncles 'aunty/uncle name', one in particular insisted on it - I still don't dare call her just by her name!

My children call me mummy and mama, I wouldn't like them to call me by my name. DD calls her stepdad a variety of nicknames though.

DS calls us Mama and Daddy if speaking to us directly. But for reasons unknown to me will only write our first names in cards, actually DH doesn't even get his real first name, he gets his nickname. Been the same since DS was at nursery.