Did you grow up calling your parents by their first names?

[annaak]

I had a friend in primary school whose family did this - her Mum and Dad were always Sarah and Rick to their kids. My Mum used to hate it, she thought it was really affected. It really bothered her for some reason!

They weren’t especially hippy people, just quite relaxed middle class artsy parents (lots of music lessons and drama classes etc. in their house). I always quite liked the vibe of it and wondered if I would do the same with my own kids one day.

Anyway, got me wondering did any of you grow up doing this, or are any of you bringing up your children this way? Did you/do you find people are weird about it?

Never called my parents by their first names - they've always been Mum and Dad, wouldn't have occurred to me to do otherwise. DD calls my dad by his nickname most of the time ("Chalky!!! where are youuuuuuu!") but she's the only one of the Gkids who does.

I absolutely love all these answers, find it so interesting how some people are very cool with it and some very against it! Also love how many people can’t remember how it started, I love that about families and names.

I considered it as i don’t like a hierarchy and we don’t call our children ‘daughter’ or ‘son’!

Didn’t go with it in the end. I felt that being called Mummy was special and also it would have bothered me if others thought i wasn’t their mum!

I knew a child at primary school who called her parents by their first names. With hindsight she was very much expected to fit in with their lives (eg could never attend birthday parties because they went to the countryside every weekend) and I wonder if the first name thing was part of the same picture.

No, although a friend of mine her son calls his Dad by his name instead of "Dad" and has done so from about 6ish (they're married and he's the bio dad etc). It sounded odd to my ears because I've not known anyone else do so but if they're comfortable with it - felt more strange when the DS was young but now he's an adult it seems more normal somehow.

My son has always called me by my first name. Not something I encouraged, he just did it.

No.

I was born in 1958 and I don't know anyone of my generation who did.

Yes, my parents did emergency foster care. We just slipped into it.

Nope. There’s something try-hard about it to me.

There’s a local school where the kids call the teachers by their first names and I don’t like it either.

I think there's a good reason not to use first names, and that's to reinforce the specialness of a parent-child relationship. One of my DS did it once as a boundary test. I explained to him that everyone else could call me Wafther, but no-one except him and his brother could call me Mummy. And that it means I've got an exclusive relationship that is ONLY for them. A parent cannot honestly be their child's best friend or bigger sibling- so shouldn't allow that confusion. It's a bit different when the child is grown up- don't think it matters then. And I've no doubt there are excellent parents who have wonderful relationships with their children yet do things differently...

My parents were always Mum and Dad to me and we were always Mum and Dad to our children. Now they are older there are variations Mother Goose, Mumzy, Pops, Papa Smurf. Our son though always called my Mum, his Granny by her first name and my Dad, his Grandad, Pops. My Mum hated it but still laughed.

No, and I can't think of anyone I've ever known who does/did. I'd find it very awkward to call any older closer family member by their first name only. Cousins and down, yes, but not aunts, uncles, parents, or grandparents.

And come to think of it, when I was a young (in the 80s/early 90s), children called nearly every other adult by Miss/Ms/Mrs/Mr + either their surname or their first name, depending on how they were introduced to us. It would have felt odd to do otherwise.

They said I kept saying it as a toddler after overhearing and they thought it was cute and just let it be. I'm sure they encouraged it because they never said 'go and ask mum etc', it was always their names for as long as I could remember.

I never think about it unless people bring it up.

My dad's side always referred to their parents by their nicknames if talking about them within the family, and sometimes to them, but that sounded cool for some reason. I don't know if that just started in adulthood though or teenage years.

Someone I know grew up calling his parents by their names and still does

My soon to be 8 year old sometimes calls me by my name and I call my dad by his name but there's a reason for that bit

I would have hated it!
I am Mother to three now adult children, a proud and loving Mother, for them to have called me by my name would have felt as though I was just anyone in their lives.
I am and always will be Mum.

why do you think you need the name to reinforce that? Surely you’re just as much their mother and your relationship is still the same whatever they call you?

I knew twins who always called their parents by their first names, they were also arty and middle class. There was always lots of adults (parents friends) at their house so maybe that was something to do with it. I found it strange as they had a great relationship with their parents so to call them their names always seemed impersonal. But it wasn't to them

My DS (age 2) calls my husband by his name when he's annoyed i.e. STOP THAT JOSEPH which makes me laugh and I don't think he knows what my first name is

I call my dad Dave (it isn’t even his first name) as we used to watch League of Gentlemen when I was a kid and would both say “Hello Dave” to each other when he got home from work. It’s stuck for the past 20+ years that my mum, sister and friends still call him Dave.

What do you like about it OP? Why do you want your kids to call you by your name? Genuinely interested as to me it seems like something that would either naturally happen and you'd just go along with, or something you'd actively avoid

@holidaypi oh I’m ages away from having kids so this isn’t a serious discussion. It just weirdly came up on a work call today and made me think about my childhood friend, and how I thought it was cool when she did it, and I wondered if anyone else had!

I guess with my nieces and nephews I’ve always found “Aunty” weird and a bit silly, like I’m pretending to be a character in a book or something, and I don’t love the idea of “Mum”. My identity is just me - I’m just Anna to everyone - so why would I go around using lots of different names or titles with the children in my life… Just an evening musing with a beer to be honest!

I hope you’re a Mum one day and you will understand.

Me and my sister call our parents by their first names (no idea when it started) sometimes we call them mum and dad but most of the times it's first names. My brother calls them mum and dad. My grown up kids sometimes call me by my first name but if they want something it's mum lol

Absolutely not!!! Other adults were always mr /Mrs surname or Aunty/uncle first name. I am still a little hazy in my 40s on whether some of the people who I saw at my grandmothers house were her friends or distant relatives

@Sago1 maybe, but there are lots of mothers on this thread who feel differently to you so I guess (like most things in life!) it’s pretty subjective 😊

My sister and her partner are called by their first names by their kids.

Each to their own.