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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Partner has blocked me

125 replies

Ionasmum19 · 07/06/2024 14:58

Long story short but my partner is in a mood with me (for no reason may I add) and has blocked my number, and blocked me on social media etc so I can't contact him, would this annoy you?

OP posts:
Headingtowardsdivorce · 07/06/2024 17:50

What an abusive twat!

Scruffily · 07/06/2024 17:57

For goodness sake, do you really need to be dealing with this selfish manchild? Men who sulk are just ridiculous. If my husband did this I'd be telling him to grow up or get the hell out.

Idontjetwashthefucker · 07/06/2024 17:58

DistinguishedSocialCommentator · 07/06/2024 17:48

"for no reason."!!

Right!!

Try reading OP's other posts eh?

Nicole1111 · 07/06/2024 18:01

Pack his bags.

DistinguishedSocialCommentator · 07/06/2024 18:02

Nicole1111 · 07/06/2024 18:01

Pack his bags.

Agree 100%

RB68 · 07/06/2024 18:05

nah I would be too busy packing his shit up ready to kick him to touch

Eyesopenwideawake · 07/06/2024 18:07

my EX partner

Fixed that for you.

PlanningTowns · 07/06/2024 18:12

Ionasmum19 · 07/06/2024 16:08

Yeah he will come home, hit or a miss whether he'll speak to me or go upstairs and watch TV. If he doesn't speak I just leave him to sulk, he will speak eventually

So are you going to allow this to happen and live at least the next 13 years like this or address this unacceptable behaviour with him?

RampantIvy · 07/06/2024 18:15

Yeah he will come home, hit or a miss whether he'll speak to me or go upstairs and watch TV. If he doesn't speak I just leave him to sulk, he will speak eventually

Why are you still with him?

I don't know what your DD's difficulties are, but if your partner struggles with his moods the issues could have come from him.

blondieminx · 07/06/2024 18:19

Ionasmum19 · 07/06/2024 16:08

Yeah he will come home, hit or a miss whether he'll speak to me or go upstairs and watch TV. If he doesn't speak I just leave him to sulk, he will speak eventually

Those are not the actions of an adult or a partner.

you have a sulky, unreasonable man child.

do not put up with this. Start making plans to get out (including getting copies of his bank statements/pensions info). Look at the child maintenance process and run their calculator.

OuijaBoard · 07/06/2024 18:24

The question is whether you are unreasonable to be annoyed that your partner is essentially giving you the silent treatment and sulking rather than having a conversation about what's wrong? OK, YANBU, and yes I would also be very annoyed.

If he wanted time and space to get over whatever's bothering before we talk, he can just say so. (Of course, if he asked to talk later and I kept pestering him then I could see the point of blocking me temporarily, but you've said you don't normally test or call him at work so it's irrelevant here.) HOWEVER, as the two of you have a child together, it's not OK for him to be intentionally out of contact with you, or vice versa.

He says I didn't do enough to try keep her in preschool another year. I done everything I could but the professionals think attending the learning centre is the best option for her. Did the two of you disagree on how to handle this and you did what you wanted behind his back, and/or prevented him from doing what he wanted? If so, the two of you still need to discuss it and find a way to move on. If not, any fault is equally his but the important things now if your daughter. I hope he's not making any of this evident to her.

He really needs to step up and be a parent, but you won't be able to force him to do so. And it would probably be a great idea for him to get professional help handling his emotions, as he's tried and failed to manage them himself - but you can't force that either. If the two of you split up, you won't, unfortunately, be able to make him do his half of the parenting if he doesn't want to - but if he shirks it, make sure he at least pays his share of the costs.

KomodoOhno · 07/06/2024 18:26

I hope he does not treat his dd as less then because she has sn. I understand this is not the life he wanted for her but too bad. The focus should be on what's best for her and what she needs, not what he wanted.

Nanny0gg · 07/06/2024 18:35

Ionasmum19 · 07/06/2024 16:08

Yeah he will come home, hit or a miss whether he'll speak to me or go upstairs and watch TV. If he doesn't speak I just leave him to sulk, he will speak eventually

And then what?

How long will you put up with him?

CactusSammy · 07/06/2024 18:54

He's an abusive twat, get rid.

Would you be happy if a man treated your daughter how he treats you? Because if you stay with him, she will grow up thinking his behaviour is normal.

Far better to be a single parent, than in a relationship with an abusive man baby. Stop accepting his behaviour.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 07/06/2024 18:55

OuijaBoard · 07/06/2024 18:24

The question is whether you are unreasonable to be annoyed that your partner is essentially giving you the silent treatment and sulking rather than having a conversation about what's wrong? OK, YANBU, and yes I would also be very annoyed.

If he wanted time and space to get over whatever's bothering before we talk, he can just say so. (Of course, if he asked to talk later and I kept pestering him then I could see the point of blocking me temporarily, but you've said you don't normally test or call him at work so it's irrelevant here.) HOWEVER, as the two of you have a child together, it's not OK for him to be intentionally out of contact with you, or vice versa.

He says I didn't do enough to try keep her in preschool another year. I done everything I could but the professionals think attending the learning centre is the best option for her. Did the two of you disagree on how to handle this and you did what you wanted behind his back, and/or prevented him from doing what he wanted? If so, the two of you still need to discuss it and find a way to move on. If not, any fault is equally his but the important things now if your daughter. I hope he's not making any of this evident to her.

He really needs to step up and be a parent, but you won't be able to force him to do so. And it would probably be a great idea for him to get professional help handling his emotions, as he's tried and failed to manage them himself - but you can't force that either. If the two of you split up, you won't, unfortunately, be able to make him do his half of the parenting if he doesn't want to - but if he shirks it, make sure he at least pays his share of the costs.

Umm, I'm not convinced that staying in preschool would have solved any SEND. It doesn't work like that - and it's more likely that being in a school environment has paved the way to her needs being identified more readily/with greater resources for intervention and support.

The mentality of a man who chooses to blame his partner for their child's SEND as though she deliberately chose to cause them or prevent them from being 'fixed' is not that of somebody worth wasting any more time on.

I'd have his shit in binbags outside the front door when he rolls back, thinking everything will be fine and he'll get his tea as usual.

Wish44 · 07/06/2024 18:56

He’s kicking the dog…. Bite his bum! He’s a bully.

FangsForTheMemory · 07/06/2024 18:57

OP, you and your daughter deserve better than this. Make plans to get out.

Cas112 · 07/06/2024 18:59

I'd end it if my partner was that childish

Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 07/06/2024 19:00

If he's under 16, I would say give him a few days. If he's over 30, bin him

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 07/06/2024 19:01

I couldn’t be doing with a teenage tantrum from a fully grown man. Life’s complicated enough ffs. Why can’t he just you know talk and tell you what the problem is.

ManilowBarry · 07/06/2024 19:02

He's petulant. spiteful, has poor communication and can't pull his weight in caring foe your child.

He's no role model to your child and an absolute loser of a partner.

KeyWorker · 07/06/2024 19:03

Ionasmum19 · 07/06/2024 16:06

He says I didn't do enough to try keep her in preschool another year. I done everything I could but the professionals think attending the learning centre is the best option for her.

And what did he do in relation to keeping her in pre-school longer?

ChristmasFluff · 07/06/2024 19:15

Oh, he's just continuing to be an abusive waste of space - masquerading as a partner but in fact making your life more difficult.

But you keep on choosing to have him in your life anyway for whatever reason you are convincing yourself you need to stay. Keep reminding yourself of that, because it reminds you that you can choose differently.

TeaGinandFags · 07/06/2024 19:39

Narcissist.

Even if he has issues, the fact he's not addressed them speaks volumes. More likely he enjoys acting up. Either way, it's on him to sort them out. Not you.

Send him back to his mother as he needs to do some growing up. Let your divorce lawyer explain the details.

TeaGinandFags · 07/06/2024 19:40

Under no circumstances should you cook his dinner. Bad children go to bed without their dinner!

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