MIL took a photo of my child with a stranger

[Cookiemonster81]

We were out with my in-laws last weekend. Stopped for some food in a small grassy area and as we were finishing up another family came and sat by us. The mother gave her children some little bubble machines to play with and my toddler got very excited so started playing with the children (with the families consent). At one point my DS went and just sat on the lap of the mother - I think she had her phone in her hand and he hasn't grasped that you can't just look at everyone's phones yet.
She was really lovely about it and entertained him for a minute, before I decided that as we had finished we would leave because I didn't want my child disturbing this family for ages.

Then later that night I get a couple of photos sent over from my MIL of my son sitting on this woman's lap. It might sound silly but I instantly burst into tears because my self esteem is at an all time low and I don't have a single photo of me and my child that I like, yet here he looked so happy with this total stranger, it was a nice picture. If it was me and my child I would have been really happy. MIL has never sent a photo of me playing with my son.

A week on and I still feel gutted. It's really got me down. I don't know if she did it on purpose, I doubt it really, but why the fuck would you take a photo of a total stranger that we spent about 5 minutes with and further, why the fuck do you think I'd want it. What are you expecting me to do with that photo. I was there, stood chatting with the woman, I saw it.

AIBU to be so bothered by this, given that MIL knows how I feel about things at the moment or do I just need to stop sulking and forget it.

She sent you a photo of your son on a nice day out? Fucking bitch.

Yes, I understand your feelings. My relative took an annoying interest in one of my mum friends even to the point she bought gifts for their child and asked after them frequently. It made me feel rubbish. It's complicated to explain but I understand.

This is such a wise reply. Excellent advice! I think a lot of women notice and try not to resent the fact that they take all the pictures. My husband occasionally takes one of me with the kids but it's like once a year. I take candid pictures all the time. It just isn't something that occurs to him to do and sometimes I pop my phone camera around and leave it on video while I'm playing with them, hugging etc and then screenshot the nice moments, because though I may not always think I look fantastic, I always look like the mum who adores them! My photos are way better than my husband's anyway 😉

Because I bet she knows OP is feeling down

Course she does. I hate having pictures taken of myself, as I am not photogenic. People do anyway. They are all trying to make me feel bad. The bitches!

Why don't you have pictures of you with your child? Get some taken and stop being so ridiculous!

Op you will be a MIL one day yourself.

@Cookiemonster81 Im sorry you are feeling low and I understand how you are feeling. If you don’t like how you look in photos because you feel forced, why don’t you consider booking in with a family lifestyle photographer - I don’t mean going to a studio, but finding someone who photographs outdoors and takes photos of you when you’re just relaxing playing with your child, they’ll also prompt you into certain poses and know what looks good and what doesn’t in terms of being flattering .. i am a family lifestyle photographer and do this for a living alongside my other job (same type of creative industry) and I hear so many mums say that they hate photos of themselves that their partner has taken because to be honest quite often they are quick snapshots and although they try hard they aren’t thinking like a photographer would. By going to a professional lifestyle photographer you’re more likely to see an entire session of you relaxing with your family and having fun and whilst you might not like all of them there are bound to be a good few where you realise you look much better than you do in your head x

why the fuck would you take a photo of a total stranger that we spent about 5 minutes with and further, why the fuck do you think I'd want it.

She took a nice picture of your son. She thought you would like to see it. Both of them perfectly reasonable, nice things to do.

What on earth is cruel about taking a nice photo of your grandchild?

I doubt it would occur to anyone that this might upset you. If your MIL really wanted to upset you, I think she would choose a more guaranteed method.

If your son was happy that's a nice thing. Maybe you just need to find some more time to do some fun things together , the two of you.

OMG, WTF? So your evil coniving MIL sends a picture of your child looking happy on another women's lap and you have sulked and dwell on this major crime for weeks. It sounds entirely normal.😂