To not want sex when DC is in the room?

[BlueBlahBlah]

That’s fucked up - isn’t it? I feel like it is at least.

we are on holiday all sharing a room and our 9 yo DC is sleeping in the bed next to ours. Sorry to be crude but my DH started fingering me last night, which presumably he wanted to lead to sex. But our DC was lying asleep like 2 metres away. AIBU to have insisted he stop?

YABU - I see no issue with it and would have let DH carry on

YANBU - No, to carry on would have been all kids of weird

To carry on would be child abuse.

🤢

Ooft, yuck. No way is that fine.

Yeah I'd find that very offputting. What if they woke up?!!

However historically families did all sleep in one room/space, for millennia, and heard and saw all sorts, so I'm not sure it constitutes child abuse for a DC to accidentally witness something happening discretely under the duvet.

I would be so grossed out if my husband couldn’t go for a week without getting off. Disgusting.

best way to do it is when the 9 year old
is away at the kids club! (voice of experience)

Yeah, I wouldn't like that at all. I have done it when DC were tiny babies and sharing a room with us, but not with a 9 year old!

This, though, is one of the reasons we always book holidays where we can have separate rooms from the kids!

Plenty of people have sex with a sleeping child in the same room. Lots of children have been conceived all over the world in these circumstances. But nobody is being unreasonable not wanting sex for whatever reason. We all have the right over our own bodies.

YANBU and I'm pretty sure pp is right that it constitutes CSA (also would struggle not to find my DH pretty repulsive after this).

It's against the law to have sexual activity in front of a child.

It's illegal.

It does come under the definition of child abuse.

The way to look at it is: if you were the child in that room, how would you feel if you woke up and heard that in the same room.

You were absolutely right to stop it.

I thought you were going to say 9 month old, in which case I was going to say I’d crack on. But 9 years? Yikes. No.

9 years old??

It's very concerning that you need to ask this question OP.

As our society today it is a form of CSA, honestly how fucked up is it to actually have sex beside a child of that age. 🤢.

Hence the numerous threads looking for the two bedrooms hotel room. Why couldn't ye go in the bathroom and lock the door like normal people, share a shower etc. I don't care if for millennia others did we have advanced a bit since then.

Nope. No need for that at all. Sure he’s not that bloody desperate for sex.

Honestly, we probably wouldn't have had full sex that is very hard to disguise but child sound asleep who generally doesn't wake. We may have 'pleasured' each other under the quilt.

It's also bit of a concern that he's fingering you without your consent.

I'd look at it from the child's POV. How would a child of 9 feel about seeing their Dad trying to coerce their Mum into having sex? Children that age aren't stupid, they know when something is off. YANBU at all. Does your H think you were BU?

Very strange 3% of voters think you were BU insisting he stops in these circs!

Where did it say that?

Yes there have been a few threads recently where this has been discussed, including one from an OP who was traumatised by being exposed to parents sexual activity in front of her when young.

It is child abuse. It says something very worrying about OP's DH that he was comfortable wanting to do this.

Disgusting

Gross, you have to use the bathroom, or get separate rooms. This is why I never stay in hotels with the kids, it’s not a holiday in my opinion if you can’t have sex when you feel like it. Also another reason why we don’t camp.

Except the OP didn't say this happened?

WTF, nowhere has OP said this!

That's just vile. I don't know how anyone could want to do anything sexual with a kid in the room. Ugh.