Why do people think parents who pay for private education are enormously wealthy?

[SheineOn]

Is this just the stereotype?

I went to a school that cost 18k a year (15 years ago). It’s now 24k a year.

There were wealthy people there. But also many ‘normal’ people. At least 40% fell into that category. People who lived on estates, drove modest cars, skipped holidays and ate cheaply.

They made a choice to spend their money on private education. For context, two of my closest friends have dc in private. They live off 450 a month after paying fees. They are not high earners.

Not everyone has endless wealth. Some are just happy to make the sacrifice. I find it strange people don’t seem to get that and makes me wonder how lacking in knowledge you must be to have that view of the private sector.

18k of 'disposable' income would put you in the wealthy category.
there are many who live off of 450 after paying their bills, or less.

If you have the ability to spend 18k a year on schooling alone, you are earning more than the vast majority of the population.

obviously there are tiers within being 'wealthy' as there will be some that is pocket change for and others that make sacrifices on other luxuries to do it.

@CassandraProphesying i don’t know. They just say they have 450. I presume it’s after mortgage so means for general living expenses

This is what happens when someone's world is so small and privileged that they don't even know it's small
and privileged. Goes to show, private education doesn't buy intelligence.

Are those who send their children to private school wealthy? Yes, we are. We earn above average and can afford school fees. Other people can’t afford bills, food etc.

Does that mean our money is unlimited and we don’t live on a budget? No. Some maybe are a lot of wealthier at these schools but others , like us wouldn’t be able to afford the £9k increase a year for our children to stay.

So yes we’re wealthy but no it doesn’t magically stretch. If we take
our children out; we will appear more wealthy to others by having more materialistic stuff .

Jesus if you’re an advert for private school I’m glad mine goes to a state school.

Completely agree.

Does make me suspect that private schools' main purpose is to provide connections and opportunities for those not bright enough to make it otherwise. Certainly that's my experience of some ex private school pupils in the workplace.

Next, you'll be telling us that when he can't afford bread he buys cake instead.....

The council tax, gas and electric would take us over budget. Can parents pitch up tents on the cricket lawns?

I don’t always assume those who pay for private school to be wealthy. I do assume they’re snobby though.

I'm so sick of hearing private school parents bleating about how they aren't wealthy, they are just normal humble folk who happen to prize education more highly than the rest of us. This spiel in itself is drenched in privilege and shows a total ignorance of the reality of life for most people. Do they really not know that there are families everywhere working really long hours in really demanding jobs, and STILL using food banks/FSM, and worrying about how they are going to afford the next pair of shoes? Do they think people working full time on low wages are choosing to have less income because they don't care enough about their children? It's utterly puke-making, and more than a little embarrassing.

Being generous, if he is mortgage free and lives in a small property with tiny bills, no travel costs and it's just him and his DD, or she lives with her DM and he lives alone he might technically cover food and bills from the £800 but you know full well OP that's far from a typical situation and it would be a very tiny minority who would be able to or think it's reasonable to live like that solely to pay for private school.

So if you're just another tiresome poster setting out to 'prove' the alleged unfairness of the proposal to add VAT to the luxury that is private education, you're failing miserably.

It's interesting, because I went to private school my entire life. I grew up with mostly a single parent and a dad who did not contribute financially at all. The children I went to school with were not 'poor' but most were not fantastically wealthy. A few were, yes (I knew the Trumps, for example, yes they were wankers back then too). But most people lived in small houses like me, with parents with really ordinary jobs. How the hell my mum afforded it, I have no idea. She was constantly in debt and having payments that weren't paid, I guess that's how.

Dh and I are certainly better off financially than I was growing up. (Dh also went to private school for a good chunk). But we could not afford private school for our dc. I suppose it is priorities. We have a nicer house than either of us had growing up. We do more activities and hobbies and do more travel than either of us did growing up. But private school feels very out of reach. Maybe it isn't as out of reach as it feels. But it would be more of a sacrifice, you're right.

@MintTwirl someone up the thread has said lots of people live off 450.… maybe ask them

I actually oppose VAT on private schools because education is not a luxury but posts like these might just my mind.

Bollocks

Would you want your DS to do this for his children too?
Live on pretty much nothing so they can access a private education?

What do you mean you don't know? You're the one who started the thread bemoaning about how people aren't all privileged and wealthy blah blah blah, And gave examples of your 'friends' and now you're saying you don't actually know the facts? What the fuck are you doing with your life?

If only 😀

I'm looking forward to it being over. Only two years to go.

We can't afford to holiday within the UK, never mind anything with travel or novelty.

I only have a car because a family member bought it for me, second hand, and helped me run it.

The house is falling apart and we haven't the funds to fix it but hey at least we have a mortgage I guess... which costs us well over a grand per month thanks to it taking us til our c.40s to get to this stage...

No way we could sacrifice anything else and magically afford to go private. I dislike the idea anyway, but nope, no amount of sacrifice would give us half the required monthly amount to afford private for one child (I have two children also).

Worst bit about that is whilst I'm not working fue to multiple disabilities, my partner works for an organisation the government like to throw under a bus around election times over their perceived unfair pay.

I'd do anything bar sell my kids to have a normal life, and I still wouldn't consider the prospect of private to be normal either.

Mortified for you now! If you are the product of a private school then I am glad that I can’t afford them!

Just do the maths - if your friends are paying 2k pcm in fees (we'll assume they only have one child) they presumably are not paying for council tax, energy, housing, water, transport and food for 3 people out of the remaining £450.

So they mean they have additional income to cover their core bills AND £450 pcm disposable income to spend on things like clothing and leisure. That's pretty high for any UK household.

Plus you haven't given the breakdown of their other costs - conservatively a household of three can;t be spending much less than £2k in those essentials and that would be with a very small mortgage indeed of say £1000pcm (the current average mortgage repayment is £1441 pcm). If they are renting, the average monthly rent in London is now 2.2kpcm.

So let's assume a joint post tax monthly income of at least £4.5kpcm, which will still make them better off than 60% of the population. Not wildly wealthy I agree, but definitely better off than most people.

Realistically very few people on that kind of income will choose to spend 2kpcm on school fees - its an incredible financial pressure to place yourself under for 13 years and precludes any savings, holidays, running a car, owning pets and would also be very fragile if either parent lost their job. So we can assume as only 6% of UK children attend private schools its statistically likely their parents are in the higher income deciles.

So people tend to think only well off people choose independent schools because mathematically they must be.

@mindutopia thanks for such an honest post! Really interested in your experience with the trumps!!

Does his partner earn?

My kids went to private school for a while. We totally scrimped to pay for it and lived very frugally. But aside from dd who at one point had 85% of her fees paid by the government the fact that we had a spare £12k per year to spend on fees meant we were far, far more privileged than many of ds's friends when he moved to state school & college.

Some of their families struggled to heat their house. Their version of poor was way different to ours.

Hefty deposit and low mortgage payments. There you go. He is wealthy, only his wealth is in the form of capital . Liquid or not , it’s wealth that enables him to pay for private school for his child.

Having spare 24k/year to send kids to school might not be wealthy for you…probably you have felt left out as not being able to go skiing 3 x year and nice tropical islands. But for some who work full time and have to use community shops to get their food supply for a week for 5£ might sound like a super wealthy. Sorry but your life experience is heavily clouded by sticking with the rich but at the same time not being afforded to keep up with some of them. On the top of the fees you need add at least 500£ on extra activities/uniforms/music lessons/school buses,trips. So having 2500 £ spare a month for all of this sounds like wealthy to me.