Why do people think parents who pay for private education are enormously wealthy?

[SheineOn]

Is this just the stereotype?

I went to a school that cost 18k a year (15 years ago). It’s now 24k a year.

There were wealthy people there. But also many ‘normal’ people. At least 40% fell into that category. People who lived on estates, drove modest cars, skipped holidays and ate cheaply.

They made a choice to spend their money on private education. For context, two of my closest friends have dc in private. They live off 450 a month after paying fees. They are not high earners.

Not everyone has endless wealth. Some are just happy to make the sacrifice. I find it strange people don’t seem to get that and makes me wonder how lacking in knowledge you must be to have that view of the private sector.

I don't think OP is sacrificing anything. She's not paying school fees, I don't think is even a parent. She's talking out of her arse, making up other people's budgets. She has no idea what she's talking about.

i think the problem is with the cost of living crisis so many people are struggling. and for many people a small increase in just about anything is painful.
many of those paying for private will find the potential increase will impact their daily living.
and many who are in dire straights struggling to feed their families will not be sympathetic.

And why do wealthy people, and you are relatively wealthy if you send one or more children to private school always think poorer people could do all the things wealthy people do if only they just worked a bit harder. I despair of the state of this country and the inequalities which are getting worse.

Labour are delusional about any possible money being raised by this plan.
I don't know what my parents earned but they scrimped and saved to put my sibling and I through private school. They had little choice as the local schools were horrendous and we also would have been culturally isolated.
Husband and I now having to consider how we can raise money to potentially send our DC to private school if they don't get into first choice of local state school. Not something we'd want to do but would have little choice as no viable alternative.....

How does he pay his rent/mortgage, utility bills, food and petrol (i.e the very basics) on £800 per month?? I understand scaling back but this seems absolutely impossible!

But also why do they think we'd all want to? I have no interest in sending my kids to private school. Even if I was very wealthy I wouldn't.

Oh don't @Allergictoironing, somebody will! I once saw somebody on Mumsnet claim that it was essential that her privately educated child absolutely NEEDED violin lessons - lessons that the family would need to give up if <insert previous election manifesto promise that I can't now remember the exact details of but would hit the middle class, here> happened.

It was quite something. I can't remember her exact argument, but it was along the lines of "For the sake of society!" 🙄

OP, they don't have to be rich, but certainly they are wealthier than I.
If I spend 24k in school, 1000 pound in council tax, another 7000 in mortgage I will be left with the grand total of nothing/ minus a few thousand pounds to live with.
Shall I consider myself in needs, financially vulnerable? Government said the contrary, they consider I'm loaded tbh, as according to them I am only entitled to pay taxes and nothing else.
Maybe you should speak with the government if you think they are just the average family. If they change the classification I may be entitled to get a few school meals for free.

What do you think the people who actually have no choice do in this situation?

And why do wealthy people, and you are relatively wealthy if you send one or more children to private school always think poorer people could do all the things wealthy people do if only they just worked a bit harder.

By that same logic the people who now can’t afford VAT need to work harder & make more sacrifices

Nail on head

So your friends are not high earners but can afford 24k school fees (assuming only 1 DC in private school)?? What are you on about?!

Of course they're wealthy. They have £2400 disposable income per month but choose to spend 2k on private school.

Perhaps OP can advise how you can work a bit harder and make a few sacrifices? Otherwise, perhaps abandon the children in the woods? Not sure what else you could possibly do really.

Well off people are delusional about how well off they are. They have no idea how most people live.

It speaks volumes that you think the only way to get a decent education is to buy it.

I went to state school. My parents were poor but gave me a good work ethic and a lot of their time (sahm). They saved hard and spent what little money they could spare sharing what you would consider luxury experiences with me - theatre, music, travel. I got an excellent degree, I now have an excellent career, and I drive a lovely hybrid Porsche.

Don’t scorn people who drive nice cars and choose state education, that doesn’t give you the moral high ground any more than the people who scorn people who scrimp to afford private education.

At the end of the day we all make our consumer choices. You choose to buy an education you think is superior, I choose to buy other things. Neither of us is morally more worthy than the other (although I strive to spend “well” and I’ve invested a lot of money in things like solar panels and electric vehicles and ethical investments and large charity donations that I could not have afforded if every penny was spent on school fees). Doubtless you could find saintly people in either camp!

What a sensible reasonable comment. Rare on mumsnet

24k to spend on anything after bills, housing, food, clothing, travel/ commuting, family commitments IS a lot. 2k a month that you won't miss. Is not a small amount of money.

@Shortfatsuit nailed it

So OP...if your expensively educated offspring goes and decides to be a busker or a very average job, will you feel your 'sacrifice' was still worth it? Or is there now subconscious or blatant pressure on your DCs to earn a six figure salary to prove your 'investment' in them has paid off so you can brag about it to your friends? Being at the bottom end of the scale money wise can't be easy in a school full of kids who have extensive privilege.

Just because something is expensive doesn't mean it is always better. I've actually worked in a private school on a project and watched as against my advice they put profits and reputation before the kids safety. I never worked for them again as it didn't sit well with my conscious and there would have been a riot if the parents had found out, let alone the HSE!

Perhaps your sacrifice might have been better spent on building a good house deposit to assist them in the future? Or even private tuition at a state school if you thought they needed it? Or to start a business? I mean it's your choice at the end of the day but surely this puts pressure on the children?

Exactly this. You're coming off quite (wilfully?) naive here.

Lol, imagine thinking by any stretch of the imagination that families able to pay £2,000 per month on school fees alone are not wealthy.

There are many families whose entire monthly income is not much more than that.

I am sure you did not mean this to be a stealth boast OP, but anyone who can afford to run a normal quality of life including a home, car, occasional holidays, and put food on the table, as well as dedicate £24k per annum to a non essential cost, are still wealthy. All it means is that there are still wealthier people, also.

That £450 which they live off "after paying fees" intrigues me. It must be a magical £450 if it covers housing costs, council tax, water rates, food, gas and electricity, insurance, running a car, broadband, phone(s) etc. I don't think you have been accurate or transparent. I am guessing you really mean that they have £450 left after school fees and all essential living costs.

Mmm.. when a kids school fees cost more than I earn in a year... I'd say its pretty accurate to believe those who can afford such on top of general living costs are pretty wealthy.

They may not FEEL particularly wealthy, particularly if the school fees are a stretch and this leaves them with less to live on than they'd like. But that still doesn't mean they are not significantly more wealthy than a huge number of the population.

Food banks people unable to pay bills no savings ...is poor despite working hard ....cutting back to pay £24K isn't poor it's a lifestyle choice if you can't eat or pay rent you don't have that choice...
Nobody ever thinks they are wealthy because someone they know has more so hard up in comparison. I don't think the average person in private education has no car, no holidays, cuts out meals and sits in the dark.

@WiddlinDiddlin Quite so. And it doesn’t mean your children can’t have a good state education- that is a postcode lottery that CAN be fixed as we’ve seen in London where there are some amazing inner city schools in deprived areas now.