Why do people think parents who pay for private education are enormously wealthy?

[SheineOn]

Is this just the stereotype?

I went to a school that cost 18k a year (15 years ago). It’s now 24k a year.

There were wealthy people there. But also many ‘normal’ people. At least 40% fell into that category. People who lived on estates, drove modest cars, skipped holidays and ate cheaply.

They made a choice to spend their money on private education. For context, two of my closest friends have dc in private. They live off 450 a month after paying fees. They are not high earners.

Not everyone has endless wealth. Some are just happy to make the sacrifice. I find it strange people don’t seem to get that and makes me wonder how lacking in knowledge you must be to have that view of the private sector.

I think SOME people who send their kids to private school aren't wealthy, sure. But most are.
My sister and I both went to a private prep school, which we were very privileged to be able to do. It meant we aced the 11+ and got into a grammar school. Our single parent was absolutely NOT wealthy at all. In fact we lived in an area that was covered in Geography in secondary school as an example of a "neglected neighbourhood". However we DID have wealthy grandparents. These grandparents didn't have a good relationship with our single parent so helped with nothing for THEM but did pay our school fees (direct to the school, not via parent) so I guess we're an example of poor kids in a private school but it's NOT the norm at all

but a hell of lot more, working full time, do!

If google is correct, minimum wage at only 35 hours is £20k+
How can you earn less than £18k a year when you work full time in this country? It's not legal.

‘I don’t have exposure to people’s experiences and lifestyles growing up who went to state school as I went to a private school all my life. ‘

And right there is the main reason the friends we have who could send kids to private school, didn’t.
They didn’t want them growing up in a twat-bubble, where someone is so removed from normal experience, and people, that they start a post declaring that dropping £24k per child for private school doesn’t make you wealthy.

Yes but some people make the decision to afford being a SAHP. That is no less privileged than me just working to pay for school fees.

The quote comes from the OP. I don’t agree with it

Obviously it's relative but yes, £44k a year to many many people would seem like a very healthy salary.

You are definitely the out of touch one OP. I am actually gobsmacked how much you are out of touch on this.

I personally don't think it's fair on the children to be the poor child in a private school if EVERYTHING is sacrificed for their education. Apart from anything it's a big pressure to succeed in life.

I went to private school and my parents were able to have a nice life as well. Holidays, days out etc. I had friends whose parents could not do this and I'm sure it wasn't great hearing about their friends nice holidays whilst they hadn't been anywhere.

I don't have to make that choice as we very much can't afford private school. I have a decent enough job but am certainly not an advert for private education if you take earnings into account!

Oh and I just had an idea 💡

If you have a spare 24k each year instead of blowing it on a fancy school put it in a savings account your kid will thank you when they can afford a bomb ass house for their 18th.

Of course, I agree. Having a SAHP is also a luxury that many families couldn't contemplate. That doesn't make private education any less of a luxury.

There are unusual pupils from modest backgrounds, but this is researched. The vast majority of private school parents are from the top 5% of families by wealth.

Most people have more than 1 child and people always ignore the ‘add ons’, the uniform, the lunches, the clubs and trips etc etc. these add ons are roughly 30% and full bursaries normally also award this.

So 2 children at £24k each, plus 30% is just over £60 k after tax. This will be (at least) after 40% tax, so £100k before tax, just on fees.

Most private school families do have holidays, meals out etc etc, some lots and lots.

It does depend on what you consider wealth to be but, without inheritance or other help, you would want to be on £200k/annum combined income to even think about it….

And then get accused of buying privilege for our DC when they are older when most people can't afford to do that?
Get called a t*at for inflating house prices etc?

Firstly op is arguing about a word that is being used in relative terms so it is pretty pointless argument, the second problem is that these calculations are just basic numbers. What they are not factoring in is the decision in the first place which is a pretty significant financial commitment and so for many (even some wealthy people) that is huge pressure to maintain a job and salary from which to pay the fees and many would prefer not to have that stress. And I think it is absolutely bonkers to sacrifice a family’s financial security for the sake of private school.
With regards to the wealthy comment well loads of kids at private school have siblings so for the majority it’s £24k x 2. £48,000 out of taxed earning makes you pretty well off in my view.

Wealth is a relative concept.

There are many who do not believe themselves to be wealthy but would be viewed as such by many other people.

To a great many people, being able to spend £24000 a year on school fees is, at the very least, an indication that those people have disposable income way on excess of anything they could ever have themselves. To those people, the parents spending £24000 on school fees ARE wealthy.

And for actual evidence:

https://www.pepf.co.uk/fact-finder/facts-and-figures/#link2

There is a chart half way down the page of number of parents within income levels…

Oof why do you care so much about other people's opinions?
Your child can go to a normal school for free instead of blowing the money on something unnecessary save it up so they can buy a house.

I've seen the reasons people choose private school on Mumsnet and it's usually a thinly veiled reason they don't want their kids around us normie peasants. Well we are 93% of the population and most turned out fine 🤷🏻‍♀️ you get just as much drug use and shenanigans in private school btw prince harry layed this out in spare 😂
18 × 24k is 432 k
That buys a hefty house even here in the south.

I'd be pressed if my parents sent me to private school instead of shoving the money in a savings account

Wait, so your DB earns £44k - spends £19k plus another couple of grand in extras, easily. And manages to live off what’s left over after tax?
No other income? Well, FairPlay to him then. my mortgage alone is £30k a year…

Or is he like my firiend, single mum in £100k who tells people she ‘makes it work’ to send her DD private but leaves out the part where she lives on a mortgage free flat gifted by her parents years ago, drives a car given to her by her grandparents, and who’s ex has the kid 50/50??

Up until April a 35 hour week on minimum wage would be £18,964 per year. After tax that would give you a take home of just over £17,000 per year. But many parents or primary aged children at least can;t work full time due to childcare.

And many parents choose private because it offers wrap around care so they can pursue their careers around school aged children.

Maybe people who chose to work part time are privileged?

I’m sure there are people who send their child(ren) to private schools who don’t earn a six figure salary and I’m equally sure there are people who do earn a six figure salary who send their child(ren) to the more expensive private (public) schools. There will be high earners too, whose children go to state schools.

If it’s what you’re used to, you regard it as the norm. The majority of us don’t regard it as the norm. Yes, if you cut costs and make sacrifices, a median salary would probably enable you to do that. But, if you’re cutting everything to the bone, what happens when costs rise, redundancy beckons, illness forces employment to stop? How do you explain to your child that there are no clubs, outings, trips, holidays, new clothes, toys, games etc?

Surely most people do , or want to do, the very best that can for their children. For some, that’s a private education, for others, it’s experiences and opportunities unavailable to them if they’re paying school fees.

Don't assume either, that a private education will always be better. That, as in the state system, depends on the school and the child.

As you say, it's the second child's private education that would wreck most dual income families' budget. In reality, it is only the immensely wealthy (and the poor) who have more than two DC. We "knew" two such, one with four children in boarding schools, and another with eight! One was a software genius and entrepreneur; the other was the heir to a brewery fortune.

Someone told me that two well-paid professionals can afford two out of three: mortgage, pension fund or private education. Beyond that, there's inheritance or family helping behind the scenes.

Being able to choose to work part time is a privilege. But for many, they don't actively choose to do that. They simply cannot earn enough to cover childcare.

Don't assume either, that a private education will always be better. That, as in the state system, depends on the school and the child.

It was disastrous for my son.

I earned £42k. My take home was around £2100 a month. So just over £25,000. How do you imagine that I'd pay my mortgage, council tax, energy bills, run my 12 year old car, and buy food (and school uniform) on the £500 a month left over after school fees?

You can't be for real, and your BIL must have other income, or GP help to do what he did.

I didn't have enough money for milk some days. A school that costs £18k per year is attended by people who are from enormously wealthy families, by the very nature that they can pay £18k.

The 432k house as an 18th birthday present really puts it into perspective how fiscally stupid private school parents are (the ones who moan about sacrifices anyway).