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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Should I report my neighbour for "man handling" his child?

107 replies

theneighbour · 05/06/2024 23:21

My Ring doorbell captured a neighbour aggressively grabbing his toddler's arm ( she looks about two years old) multiple times. She clearly did not want to walk, and attempted to sit down, at which point he kicked the back of her legs to keep her upright; the kick itself wouldn't have been hard to an adult, but would be for a toddler.

His DD ended up sat on the ground, he wrenched her arm to get her back on her feet a few more times, then hit her on the side of her head when she refused to stand. After that, he walked away leaving her on the ground crying.

He could have easily lifted her up, and carried her home, which is what I often had to resort to with my DS when he was having a tantrum, or just refusing to cooperate.

So, should I report this to social services, or is there another body I can speak to who might best advise me? Also, I'm uncertain as to whether there would be a data breach in sharing the doorbell footage with the relevant authority.

YABU - Mind your own business. He was probably having a bad day.
YANBU - Of course you report it. No harm done if SS deems he acted reasonably.

OP posts:
Fruitandnuts · 07/06/2024 21:18

glad to hear youve reported it

He did this on a road or public area i assume?

i dread to think how he would behave behind closed doors when no one would/could see. Doesnt bare thinking about.

Bettysnow · 07/06/2024 21:25

So glad you reported this op! Well done! Absolutely pig of a man!

SeriouslyStressed · 07/06/2024 21:34

Well done for reporting! "Open" means that they already have social services involvement, so it's particularly important that you did this

Isittimeformynapyet · 07/06/2024 21:37

C1N1C · 06/06/2024 13:16

I agree to report, but just make absolutely sure (100%) that you recording footage and sending it etc is legal. I've heard reports of this being a very touchy subject, and it could come back to bite you if you send footage that invades someone else's privacy, regardless of the good intentions.

I'm not dissuading you, just saying to cover your arse ;)

Police actively search out Ring doorbell footage from private residences to help them solve crimes so it must be ok.

Different matter if cameras are filming in a private back garden perhaps.

CowTown · 07/06/2024 21:44

I used to work in Social Care—everyone in the community has a duty of care to report any abuse of any children. Sadly, many in the community aren’t aware of this.

TipsyMaker · 07/06/2024 21:44

If he's treating the child like that out in the street I dread to think how he would treat children behind closed doors. Well done for reporting, definitely agree with others that so many opportunities for intervention get missed. Hope life gets better for this poor child

Sapphire387 · 07/06/2024 21:49

This isn't 'manhandling'. I was all ready to come here and say give the neighbour a break, we've all had to robustly pick up a tantrumming toddler or hold them into the pushchair to strap them in if we need to collect the older kid from school on time, or whatever.

But he kicked her, and hit her on the head. That's really not just 'manhandling'. You did the right thing to report.

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