Should I report my neighbour for "man handling" his child?

[theneighbour]

My Ring doorbell captured a neighbour aggressively grabbing his toddler's arm ( she looks about two years old) multiple times. She clearly did not want to walk, and attempted to sit down, at which point he kicked the back of her legs to keep her upright; the kick itself wouldn't have been hard to an adult, but would be for a toddler.

His DD ended up sat on the ground, he wrenched her arm to get her back on her feet a few more times, then hit her on the side of her head when she refused to stand. After that, he walked away leaving her on the ground crying.

He could have easily lifted her up, and carried her home, which is what I often had to resort to with my DS when he was having a tantrum, or just refusing to cooperate.

So, should I report this to social services, or is there another body I can speak to who might best advise me? Also, I'm uncertain as to whether there would be a data breach in sharing the doorbell footage with the relevant authority.

YABU - Mind your own business. He was probably having a bad day.
YANBU - Of course you report it. No harm done if SS deems he acted reasonably.

Just a quick update. I called the NSPCC, who said it was deemed a priority, and had I reported it yesterday, the police would have been called to conduct a welfare check. She wanted to make a referral, but I decided to contact my LA child services directly to find out their process, and ensure my anonymity - although my Ring doorbell in itself is outing.

When I provided child services with the address of the neighbour, she asked if they are a family of X ethnicity, and then said she was reading through notes. I was then asked to provide my number so that the duty social worker could contact me.

So, from her indiscretion, it would appear that the family is known to ss, and she further mentioned it was, "open"?

Thank you to everyone for your replies - especially those who advised I report it.

No! As a one off I have raised voice or been a bit sharp with my children but I’ve never kicked or slapped them. This is and should be the norm.

I agree to report, but just make absolutely sure (100%) that you recording footage and sending it etc is legal. I've heard reports of this being a very touchy subject, and it could come back to bite you if you send footage that invades someone else's privacy, regardless of the good intentions.

I'm not dissuading you, just saying to cover your arse ;)

Well done for reporting. Hopefully they use this information to take action. Poor child. All parents get frustrated from time to time (myself included) but violence is not ever acceptable. I'm not surprised they are known to SS already.

Please report this. It could all be part of a bigger picture.

Sorry just seen update. Glad you reported then, it's so good that you did. Absolutely saddened and disappointed to see a bunch of ill informed posters advising you not to report though.

That was a poor choice of words on my part! I meant more that it wasn't defensive action against a violent child that was misinterpreted from a long distance or poor footage.

Well done @theneighbour for reporting, you've done what you can for this child.

A defensive action against a 2 year old?? Fuck me, I despair, I really do. Even if the child was having a meltdown and hitting the man, it doesn't mean he can hit it around the head and kick it in the legs!

Let the police see it and they can make a decision.

Wtf so it's okay to abuse someone once....although unlikely it is once if this is what happens in view....it's everybody's duty to protect children....your attitude is the reason things escalate the child and parent needs help.

Dear good 🤦‍♀️. If he does that in the street. Imagine what goes on behind closed doors. Pulling them up is one thing but kicking them in the back of the legs and hitting them in the face is child abuse. Ignoring child abide makes you just as bad.

@Maddy70 we have all been there?! You think everyone has hit and kicked their toddler? Shame on you if that's the case.

I would report that. Poor child. Imagine what’s going on behind closed doors if that’s the level of physical abuse he’ll subject the child to outside! He needs a sharp shock and to be held accountable.

Well done for reporting it op. Poor child. ❤️

You did the right thing OP . At a guess I don’t think you are the first neighbour to report something .

bloody hell.

for anyone else ever unsure - i always say if you feel personally safe, report to it the appropriate authorities and let them make a decision on whether it warrants further investigation. we can never know the full picture.

let someone qualified decide. in the scenario like you describe it was pretty clear that it should be reported, especially as you had video evidence

Thanks and well done for reporting this !

No we have not all been there!. My kids have driven me to absolute distraction. My eldest is severely autistic and displays very challenging behaviour. I’ve been hit, kicked, bitten and not once have I EVER raised a hand to my children. I will not deny shouting as I’ve done that many times. If you or people around you have kicked or hit your kids in the head then all are guilty of child abuse.

If this what someone is willing to do in public, imagine what they might be willing to do behind closed doors.
Absolutely the right decision to report.

All parents have moments of stress and raise their voice/shout, but not all parents belt their kids round the head and drag them by their little arms.

Brilliant that you have reported. There are nearly always far too many opportunities missed when children significant suffer harm or are killed by their parents/carers. Each report helps to build a picture of what’s going on.

Child abuse is everyone’s business and by not reporting it makes you complicit.

Absolutely. If we are not here to protect children, what right have we to claim to be civilised.

Yes please do.
He's used quite significant force against a child that he could have just picked up and carried.

Share this footage. It could save this child's life, and you have the benefit of tangible proof!