WIBU to make y7 DD to revise in half term AND help her?

[ArseholeCatIsABlackAndWhiteCat]

DD has a lot of end of year tests coming up. Yes , she is only Y7 but she's the type of kid that is lazyish but also gets upset if she doesn't do well, and there is no way she will do well without any revision bar 2/3 subjects.

I kept a couple of days free over half term for this and also helped her make revision cards, showed her how to do them,to summarise etc.

Two friends told me I was unreasonable (not in those exact words) for making her work and revise , as it's only y7 it doesn't matter,she should chill,relax and have fun. They asked if I could meet up and I said I was busy, they asked with what and that's how it came about. One of the replies was actually "oh,fuck that".

Another friend (more of an acquaintance) asked me for help as our daughters were talking about revision and I sent her the links the school provided. Then she asked for the cards to see exactly what we are doing. I showed her and then she got a bit snarky and snippy as they were too good for DD to have done herself. I said I obviously helped as she had no idea how to do them (first year she ever needed it, as SATS revision was completely different) and I didn't think it was fair to let her get on with it with no guidance. She got even snippier and said she doesn't have the time to do it and it's unfair and it should be the children's work not parents'. I mean, if it's all that independent why didn't she just get her DD to ask mine for notes and advice?

I let it all go and just internally rolled my eyes, however I got a message today from one of these people asking if "all that hard work was worth it yet" with laughing emojis. I just replied tests haven't started yet.

One lesson definitely learned, keep my mouth shut.

However WIBU on both counts? Either?

YANBU. Getting into good revision and study skills are important and most schools are awful at teaching them. We did similar with all our DC. Paid off too.

I think making revision cards etc for a year 7 is probably a bit unnecessary. But not massively so, and I don't think it's a problem.

But your friends' reactions were really weird and over the top. It's not something I'd comment on - it would just be a passing thought in my head of "I wouldn't bother with that". It's very strange of them to have turned it into a thing.

I'm very on the fence about this - IMO in yr 7 they should do their homework properly and that should be enough. But my kids' school taught revision techniques, not just subject matter so that by the time the GCSE curriculum came along in Yr 9, they were ready and had the skills.

If your school doesn't do that then fair enough, just leave her the majority of her holidays for downtime.

Their homework for half term (and this week) was revision. All subjects had a list of what needs to be revised. A few teachers added tips/pointers/powerpoints to follow, but the majority of them didn't. Just a long list of topics from September (some not mentioned since then) until now, which I thought might be a bit overwhelming.

We spent two days doing this. The others, we had a long weekend at a theme park, one day out and about town (and she got a haircut), one day she had a meetup with her friends , two we did the revision notes (she reads through them as and when), a day at a fair with some friends and a totally chill day where we did nothing except chill and watch telly.

Year 7 is fine for revaion cards it's good practice for when it matters.

www.cgpbooks.co.uk/secondary-books/ks3/science/shf31-ks3-science-revision-question-cards

Check these out if you're running out of record cards

Those look great! Thanks

I got my year 7 child to revise in half term. I also reduced daily time on the Xbox and only had a few afternoons out. I didn't help with revision cards or anything, but did download all the revision resources the school provided, and then left him to make his own notes. I bought some nice pens and highlighters so he could enhance his notes. I know its only year 7, but my child also likes to do well, and this is an opportunity for him to see what revision style works for him, and to learn how to organise his revision time when there are many subjects to do. That way, when it does actually matter he knows what revision style suits him and he can just get on with it.

It's an absolutely great idea, to assist with revision technique in Y7, because end of yr7 tests are in another league to Yr6. All you're doing is helping your DS to learn the skill/how to on how to revise which he will require for years to come. Some kids just don't need this, because they're good at finding what works for them independently. My mum did this with me and I've done it with my DD. The mums who are texting you are just jealous/guilty that they're not doing it.

Your acquaintance sounds snide and unpleasant.

It doesn't matter if it's 'too good for DD to have done herself' because it's not work that's being handed in for a grade, but for revision purposes. It may be that DD finds in time that her way of revising and making revision notes is different from yours, however.

Seems fine and helpful.

I suspect there's an element of jealousy. At our school half the parents talk about "Scandinavian teaching methods" and wax lyrical about kids not reading until age 7.

But you KNOW they are the ones who are hot housing their kids. One of the school Mums I know had her kids sit Year 6 SAT papers from Year 4.

YANBU OP. Y7 DD has exams this week, she did some revision (1-2 hrs) every day over half term. She also did plenty of other fun stuff. She’s finding this week of actually sitting the exams much less stressful than she would have if she’d done no revision. DS is in Y10 so his end of year exams are much more important, and we took a similar approach when he was Y7. He’s got pretty good revision techniques now.

I tried to get my kid to revise but no such luck. This week there has been last minute cramming the night before!!
Your post has actually inspired me to sit with her and teach her how to do it.... Although to be honest I was always a last minute crammer myself so I actually don't know!
I guess the reactions from others were just bitter or jealous that they haven't done anything. Fair enough if you don't believe in making kid revise during half term, but also fair enough if you do!! Everyone is different... Some kids might not really need to... Others will literally need a parent spoon feeding them at this age they differ so much!

I think your approach is good. Even the most motivated kids need a bit of input when learning study/revision skills. It was homework too so it needs to be done. There won’t be any half term hols where secondary school kids are not expected to do some homework in any decent school

If it was set as homework, then yes, she needed to do it. I'd have used evenings rather than daytime though, so it still felt like a holiday.

You are all mad. Year 7 (11 and 12 yr old!) kids don’t need to spend holidays revising.

edited for typo

Somè kids are self starters, some absolutely aren't. Those that aren't are unlikely to magically know how to revise well so it's basic parenting to help them figure it out. Show them how it's done at first then they have a good model to work from in future years. It is exactly the same as them using bought flash cards or instructive revision books with highlighted information and 'quick fact' boxes on the page.
What you have experienced is a parent who either hasn't bothered or doesn't have time to help their child the way you have and to salve their guilt they are projecting the negativity on you,

Yanbu, my DD is in yr 8 and last year I helped her with revision. It is actually important that they learn these skills to enable them to become independent learners in the future. Yr 7 exams in my DD’s school also help with setting for the following year and she was really motivated to be in top sets.

I also helped this year, mainly asking her questions. I bought a mini whiteboard and coloured pens and she quite enjoyed using them for notes or to answer questions, make essay plans etc.

This is making me feel a bit inadequate

This^
My DD has SEN so always needed my help to revise. It always paid off. I agree that your friends were jealous.
Also in reality many parents help to revise they just don’t like to admit it but then it always comes out later. E.g your friend sees a book on your shelf and says: Oh yes, CGP books are really good. I always used them when helping Charlie with end of year exams.
But she kept it really quiet while Charlie was at school..

I was also a crammer so it didn't come naturally to me either. I just used the pointers from the more detailed revision plans across the board. Some were quite tricky as certain parts weren't even written in her book(fire alarm,other disruptions, supply teacher so they watched a video about x instead etc) so we had to google the information. This is where the extra "notice" came in handy.

It's not the whole holidays, it's a couple of afternoons. My school had exams every year through high school and of course we revised - it was just accepted we would.

I remember always having some revision to do during school breaks (1-2 hrs a day nothing too excessive). My mom didn’t help as she worked but she always found me good tutors for subjects where I needed help. I think it’s normal to do some revision?

YANBU. Learning how to revise in y7-y9 means that when you get to GCSE years you won't be one of the many parents on the GCSE threads saying 'my child doesn't know how to revise'.

I suspect that many of today's secondary school pupils don't realise how / how important it is to revise, as they would have done GCSEs when they were modular and with lots of coursework. (I'm old enough to have done O levels.)

Revision is a skill that has to be learned and practiced.

You do sound ott OP. Children do learn how to revise at all the secondary schools I know as they have regular end of term assessments.