Went on an awful date last night

[Lordsoftheboards]

He was very unclear about the meeting place and kept trying to get me to phone him beforehand.
He told me the street to meet him on as he was coming straight from work and I confirmed I'd meet him there.
He kept wanting me to ring to confirm details rather than just a quick short text.
I texted him saying I'm at X place on Moor Street. Then he phoned me saying 'where are you?'
I replied I was on X street like he told me to go to. He then told me to carry on walking down towards the seafront (live in a seaside town).
There was a big event on at the seafront. There were dancers, stalls and various things on, and he wanted to look at things for a grand total of 3 seconds then said 'Shall we go this way now?'.
The date lasted 1h20 in total. There was zero sort of chemistry, flirting, anything. He talked about himself most of the time and I just knew I didn't fancy him.
Turned up in a suit straight from work too.
At the very end he wanted to carry on but I told him I needed to get back. He winked at me and said 'Shall we do this again?' which I don't like as people should have time to decide and it puts you on the spot there and then.

I got a text when I'd got home saying thanks for tonight I had an amazing time, wanna do it again on Saturday?

I politely declined and he accepted it TBF.

I didn't even feel he was interested in me. If it had been a wonderful date where we'd really got on then fair enough, but I just felt like I could've been anyone tbh and he just wanted to fill the role of girlfriend.

Has anyone else had this?

It doesn’t sound awful to me just not a spark there , two of my best mates I met when we went on first dates but had no romantic interest at all

That's good you ended up being friends with them still!

Yeah maybe awful was the wrong word but he hardly asked anything about me and hardly let me speak, I didn't see how he could've had decided it was 'amazing' and just felt I could've been anyone.

Well he probably does want a girlfriend thats why he's dating ,if your not feeling it though than you did the right thing saying no, there's no point in prolonging things

It doesn’t sound awful he just doesn’t sound right for you. I had some right horrors, this doesn’t sound like that, just no spark!

No you are absolutely right, I mean that he didn't even seem that interested in me, just that I could've been literally anyone.
Ok I admit I have had way worse than this, awful might not be the right word, more like disappointing!

I don't really understand why didn't want to speak beforehand. It might have saved you from wasting your time.

True maybe I should've done a call before. I mean he seemed to make it some sort of massive deal about the meeting place, he told me a place, I was there at the time we agreed and then he wanted me to phone him twice to have a discussion about the meeting place, just a load of faff

Maybe he was really nervous which is why he kept talking about himself as he didn't want any awkward pauses in conversation.

I'd guess he found it 'amazing' because he's someone who always talks about himself anyway and isn't that interested in other people- and he got to do exactly that, which made him happy. He didn't really have to make any effort.
I wouldn't mind that he came from work wearing a suit, though. I like a man in a suit, maybe I'm missing something here. And the wanting to ring rather than text, some people just don't text much and prefer ringing. Unless he's been happily texting you up til then and suddenly wants to ring, I wouldn't really think much of it.

That would have annoyed me, he kept you walking further only to leave that place he summoned you to after a few minutes. I’m very funny about things like that partly as I have poor sense of direction and don’t like getting lost, but I just insist on agreeing a time and place that we stick to.

It doesn’t sound completely awful but yeah if he doesn’t appear interested in you and just wants you to fill the girlfriend role it’s not great. I mean that kind of arrangement works for some people but it definitely doesn’t for me. I really need to click with someone and feel they are getting to know me too.

He’s in love with himself so no need for a soul mate. Just someone to get jiggy with and any hole will do. You dodged a bullet although I would’ve quickly interrupted his ‘all about me’ Ted Talk.

I understand, OP. Some men have this annoying habit of not asking questions on a date or showing any interest in you. I think it's because they're looking for sex and anyone half decent looking will do.

I had the exact same experience a few years ago just before the pandemic. The guy talked non-stop about himself, he literally didn't even pause for breath, he didn't ask me anything about myself and the whole experience was really horrible. I left as soon as i reasonably could. I thought the whole thing had been a disaster but he texted me as soon as I got home to say he had really enjoyed it and could we do it again! I said that I really didn't think it was going to work and wished him well. I'm still completely amazed that he thought it had gone well.

Just to add, I definitely got the impression that my date just wanted a girlfriend and fast.

It does sound awful! He sounds dire and as if he's on a different planet. Of course there could be worse dates but don't let PP tell you that you are incorrectly describing your own experience.

These days I would 100% call dudes out on it.

Nothing to loose if you have no intention of seeing him again - and it may save the next lass from a similar fate.

That's 90 minutes of your life you ain't getting back OP 🤨

Men have a much shorter list of requirements for a girlfirend, the majority aren't interested in the actual person, they just want a female that's half decent looking to shag and maybe facilitate their lives a bit.
He was all about him op, it was an awful date, don't listen to people downplaying it, it's not a miss match, he put no effort into getting to know you as a human being.
People's standards are depressingly low imo.

I've been on similar dates where a guy just talks at me for an hour, doesn't ask me any questions and seemingly has no interest in me as a human being other than as an audience for his inane ramblings.
It's his problem, not yours. Just be glad you only had to tolerate it for an hour and 20 minutes - some poor women marry these bores!

I guess you just weren't attracted to him at first sight - he sounds like he's super busy, really wants a relationship, and wants to date whilst he's tired without really putting much thought or preparation into it.

I know I need time to decompress after a long day.

If you thought he was really attractive, you might have overlooked the crap organisation, or extended the date to give him a chance to relax into it, the connection might have been a bit better sat down somewhere with a drink?

The organisation wasn't great, but it doesn't come across as malicious or trying to exploit you? Unless you got those vibes.

(Agree it sounds very shit but also sometimes people act weird/make a bad first impression/gabble because of nerves...I know I'm guilty of that sometimes).

May be a great match for someone else. Onwards and upwards!

I don't know about OP but I wouldn't be interested in a "really attractive" man who showed absolutely no interest in me and who I am.

For your own safety don't meet up with a strange man in the street. Meet in a pub with other people around you.😏

Throw this one back.

It sounds more boring and tedious rather than awful. Leave earlier next time and go and do something you enjoy.

Isn't that a bit like saying...for your own safety, don't walk past men in the street. Only do it in the pub.

Not at all. You plan to meet a stranger in the street. What next you get in his car as he knows a really nice place to go? Do we never learn!

I think you're no more in danger from an online date on the street as you are from a stranger. As long as you don't meet at 3am and you keep your boundaries in place. No car rides from strangers.