To think 9-5 does not work

[Worryingwhy]

I now work 9-5 after being a SAHP. I'm realising how hard this is. Medical Appointments for me AND DC. Dental appointments, Pets needing to go to the vet etc etc. I don't know how I'm going to manage all this. Wondering if I have made a huge mistake in going back to work full time to be honest.

I think its extremely difficult to do it 5 days a week, with a commute, with children under 8/year 3.

Everyone is too tired and there's zero slack.

It can be tricky. I often use my lunch break and take annual leave in school holidays and try to get appointments in school holidays for kids.

5 days a week is definitely hard. Is there any option for compressed hours? Most people in my workplace do 8-6 4 days a week which gives a lot more flexibility for appointments etc

For appointments you would probably need to book a/l or make up the time. Emergencies are different, obviously, but your employer should have a policy to cover this.
If you don't need the money you could reduce your hours?

That’s what paid annual leave is for.

Assuming you aren't a single parent, is there any reason your other half can't do half of these appointments?

Why is it all on you? What is your other half doing?

Plus working from home gives a lot more flex to help with all this.

@iamtheblcksheep do your kids always get sick when you've got annual leave? most people have to book leave in advance (mine is at least 4 weeks notice) and family leave is almost always unpaid. Not everyone can be perfect.

I have a 10 yo and have always worked 4 days per week. Originally 28 hours but have worked up to 35 (compressed 5 into 4). I need Fridays to mentally decompress and have some slack for appts. I'd go barmy otherwise. Is that an option for you?

I have a very flexible job. Technically its 9-5 but with lots of flexibility. Rigid 9-5 is awful for most people and not necessary in most professions.

I work 4 days a week. Is that a possibility for you OP? IME it's easier to get a full time job and ask to go part time than get a part time job in the first place.

I'm with you. Mine is hugely flexible, I couldn't go back to rigid 9-5 now as I've been able to manage appointments etc around how flexible my employer is. I think rigid 9-5 is shit.

Have you all got many complex health issues that mean you are constantly at the doctors? Assume you are a single parent as you haven't got anyone else to split appointments with. Your work have to allow you time off for hospital appointments.

We have had 3 different things to go to the doctors for lately: a broken limb (seen twice then discharged) , a mental health diagnosis process (seen twice with a third appointment in a few months time) and a hospital issue thats seen irregularly (went last year and have been asked again this year). All stretched over a long period but with a few things coming together in May/June with the fracrure clinic. Dh and I have flexed time off work to deal with. If flexing weren't possible we would use time off for dependants. Everyone gets 10 statutory days a year. Look up your work policy on it. It is probably unpaid.

The dentist is twice a year. All go at once and book evening appointment well ahead of time.

No one goes to the GP any more as can't get seen. It's usually telephone appointments!

so before you became a parent you just ignored everyone struggling with the 9-5 set up, but now it affects you it's an issue?

Welcome to adulthood. Sorry, it sucks.

We don't have kids at home anymore and it's still really difficult 9-5. Only really works as my work is really flexible about wfh etc...

Oh grow up. Yes leave for emergency illness is inevitable but general life admin is perfectly manageable around evenings weekends and days off

Try 8am to 6pm Monday to Friday. And I'm a childminder so no lunch breaks and if I take time off it's unpaid. Plus it's very hard to take time off last minute as it affects so many people for their jobs.
It's shit & hard work but such is life I'm afraid.

I did 8.30 am to school pick up (a ten minute cycle ride away) when the kids were at primary school and went up to full-time once they were in secondary. I also took the part-time pay. DH always did the school drop off so I could start at 8.30 am.

Mine is fine but I have a very flexible employer.

I had a non flexible employer when I first returned from a career break and I could not believe the arrangements they had there - so it CAN work if there is trust between the employer and employee and a willingness to be flexible on both sides. My current manager knows I’ll do the hours and go above and beyond because they are the same with me. But I wouldn’t do one moment over 5pm for my previous employer who demanded I be there 15 mins before my start time, or who paid very little attention to employment law and tried to squeeze every last drop of blood from us. It’s give and take and the employers who aren’t flexible will find they can’t retain staff.

I realise my first post was a bit snarky. So what i mean is: parents have been talking about and dealing with this forever, and yet nobody cares until it affects them so there is no change. Those who are already in it are only going to roll their eyes and say "cope, we have to" and those who aren't in it don't give a flying monkey's.

I worked 8-5+ for years when my DCs were small with at least (it varied because my office moved) an hour each way commute, often 2 hours. It sucks, it is hard and it costs an absolute fortune in childminders and goodwill. And you are knackered all the bloody time.

But: unless you are a single parent there is another parent on hand to do half the stuff. And if they aren't? don't put up with that.

It lasts several years and it is horrible. And then it's over and life is different. But i will believe in change only when the pre-kids people are on board with it.

This is the one thing i thank Covid for. The WFH situation. It’s so much easier now.

There's some cranky replies on here, baffling.

why baffling? it SURELY cannot be a shock that working full time and having children is often a shitty, stressful and expensive time.

That’s why I postponed having DS till I was senior enough to be very flexible.

It must be a pretty massive culture shock going from SAHP to a rigid, 5 day a week 9 to 5.

Between shifts, part time, SAHPing and flexible work I think a lot of parents just don't do it.