Embarrassing Doctor Stories

[OooSorryDoctor]

Lighthearted….. I went for a 4 mile walk the other week (5 weeks postpartum and not 100% my idea) and could barely walk the next day. Cue painkillers and a day in bed, until a mysterious rash appeared in the exact spot my knee was throbbing. Husband was concerned and said he’d never seen a rash like it, so better submit a picture to our local GP practice.

Long story short they called me in for an urgent appointment and within seconds I was diagnosed with a heat rash from using a hot water bottle 😆 cue a very embarrassed me apologizing for wasting her time 🙈🙈

Make me feel less embarrassed, what’s your best facepalm doctor story?

When I went for my last smear, I went behind the curtain to remove my trousers and pants. But because I was chatting away and not concentrating I accidentally took off all my clothes.

My little DD was having trouble with her ear so I dutifully took her to the Dr for some antibiotics.

Being a busy single Mum I had zjushed around the supermarket beforehand so I could get her home asap after the doctors and all cosy. I hung the bags on the back of her buggy.

During the appointment the Dr asked for me to seat her beside him so he could look inside her ear. Of course when I lifted her out the buggy the weight of the shopping tipped the buggy over shattering a bottle of wine all over his consultation room 🤦‍♀️ he was NOT amused.

Had to work myself up to my first smear…stupid I know but never been great about anyone looking ‘down there’

anyway talked myself up saying you’ll never see this nurse in public blah blah blah. So I’m lying on the bed with my bits out ready to go and she says ‘oh sorry can I just confirm your address’ reads it out and it’s incorrect so I say oh no that’s wrong and give her the new one. She then says ‘oh have you got the white Mercedes? I live opposite you’ she then asks if I’d prefer someone else to do the smear so I say….in a state of panic and social anxiety ‘no don’t worry you won’t be the first of the neighbours to see me vagina’ WHAT THE FUCK 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ honestly I wanted the floor to swallow me up.

This one had me in in stitches 🤣😂🤣

I remember being around 8 years old and attending a physio appointment with my mum who for whatever reason didn't wear underwear much. The guy asked her to strip down when he left the room she sat up in a panic and asked to use my knickers (spotty hotpants may I add) and after some arguing under our breath I reluctantly gave them to her she could barely fit in them and I was sitting in discomfort wondering how on earth she didn't wear underwear. We didn't speak much on the drive home 😂

I mean her reaction to you potentially being schizophrenic was appalling!!

This thread is making my day but I've totally lost it at this one. Fucking hell 😂😂😂

Not me but a close friend. Found a lump on her chest just below the neck. Went to doctor who confirmed she had lost weight recently and could, in fact, just feel her chest bones!

When my DD was little she kept talking about a noise she could hear in her ears, she kept on about it for weeks so I took her to see a
GP, it took about 3 seconds to work out it was an 'ear worm' ... ie a song in her head she was remembering 😱 I felt like a fool lol 😂 he said it's quite common though

When DD was about 5 her hand caught in a door and she claimed she couldn't move it afterwards - couldn't bend fingers, flex wrist etc. We were only 2 minutes from GPs so popped in and asked if anyone could just check her over.

It was a couple of days before Christmas and the nurse had piles of chocolate and offered DD one - she grabbed it, unwrapped it and shoved it in her mouth... nurse said "glad your hand is feeling better you can go now darling".

I was extremely embarrassed but she was lovely and said she was always dealing with kids and some of them could be "very creative". DD never tried anything like that again

That was about 14 years ago when it was possible to walk in and see someone quickly wish it was like that now.

Routine check with the doctor, after having my child (24 years ago) I had to stop breast feeding a few days earlier as my milk was weak, the doctor wanted to check my breasts for lumps, as he pressed on one it shot a stream of milk over his shoulder, I wanted to die! He finished his checks and gave me advice to help with milk reduction etc and walked me to the waiting room to get his next patient. My husband was waiting for me in the waiting room, as the doctor came out he started talking to my husband, turns out they were old friends who had not seen each other for years, I wanted the ground to open and swallow me up!

I was about to reply that I often see the nurse that's done my smears because she lives and works in the village where we have a GP surgery*
Then I read your last sentence! Yeah....I never said that 😂

• now closed.

Go on admit it how many of upu have just felt for your scull lump behind your ear 😂

Me ? Nooo , not me, nope

Went for an internal scan.
Doctor said I was very photogenic....!

My dog did this! While out she got into the beetroots (rescue and previously a stray so ate anything) and started passing blood. Very expensive vet visit!
Not mine, but l knew someone whose rabbit had done a very high (binky) jump (they do that when they're happy) and hit the underside of a nearby table.
Lay there still for ages, breathing, but not moving otherwise.
They rang the emergency vet in a panic, thinking she was paralysed or had broken something, rushed her over there for examination and probable xray (which cost a fortune, it being late at night and out of hours).
While they were tearfully explaining their concerns to the vet, the rabbit emerged from her carrier on the floor, looked around, did a huge binky and scampered happily around the surgery.....

Took the then 19yo DS who has SN to the GP with earache. GP said it looked like something was in there so he got some forceps and extracted some sweet corn. He was being his very kind and lovely self and said it might be wax as sometimes wax did look like that. Nope. Definitely sweetcorn.

Fast forwards 12 months or so and we were back having pieces of toenail (DS picks at them) removed from DS 's ear.....GP was equally kind!

Sadly he has now retired, fortunately there has been no repeat incident.

Few weeks post c-section with my second baby I developed severe chest pain and shortness of breath, honestly felt like I was dying. My husband called 999, got blue lighted to A&E with a suspected pulmonary embolism or heart attack!

Anyway, the pain started to ease off on the way to hospital so I was already feeling a bit dumb, but after an ECG and chest x-ray the A&E doctor said he could see my bowel pushing on my diaphragm on the x-ray and diagnosed me with a bad case of trapped wind! Mortifying 🤣

Many years ago, my ex husband announced that he'd made a doctor's appointment because he'd found some 'weird red marks' on his body.
I had a look, told him they were stretch marks. Fairly new ones, by the look of them. I should know, l've had plenty of them over the years.
He was scathing and dismissive and said he'd 'listen to the doctor, thanks!'
Off he went. Came back.
Stretch marks because he'd put a lot of weight on..... 🙄

This is brilliant 😂and has just reminded me about when I came round from an anesthetic and started asking the nurse if ABBA had been in the room because I could have sworn Bjorn was next to the bed singing to me. When she told me sadly not I started singing Waterloo anyway . Mortifying 😭

I was left behind a curtain to get my gown etc on before surgery and put the paper pants on my head, as I thought it was a hat to keep my hair covered.... no lie

😂😂😂

Not me but read this elsewhere.....
Woman went to the doctors for a smear- first one, was very nervous. Went to the loo beforehand, there was no loo roll so she found an old tissue in her bag and used that.
Goes for the smear,halfway through the nurse stops and says " Well that's something I've never seen before !"
The woman starts panicking, fearing the worst.....and the nurse produces a first class stamp that had been stuck to her public hair! It must have been stuck to the tissue she used!

Not so much embarrassing…more awkward.

Each time I’ve gone for my smear, the nurses always have trouble getting the speculum in - luckily it doesn’t hurt, but they seem to struggle with it. They’ve asked me to get in weird positions as my cervix is apparently at a weird angle? “can you raise your bum off the chair” “can you ball your fists and put them under your bum to raise your bottom?”
Every time.

Mine still haunts me to this day.

Early 20s, I was having a lot of pelvic pain.
My GP surgery at the time worked on intercom, so the dr called you in via an intercom that blared out loud in the waiting room.
I toddled off down to his room when he called me, sat down and began describing in intricate detail the pain and how I couldn’t have sex in certain positions as it “was painful, I think because it’s deep…”
The receptionist came bursting in saying “Dr, you’ve left the intercom on”.
The entire (packed to the rafters) waiting room heard it all.
I demanded to be let out of the fire exit as there was no way on God’s earth I was walking back out through that waiting room.

There was another more tame one when I was at the family planning clinic getting a depo shot. I was expecting it to be mild like a normal injection but when they do it in the bum cheek it kills, and I wasn’t mentally prepared. I shouted “fuck me” at the top of my lungs. I got some funny looks when I came out.

I normally hate hyperbolic posts saying that someone is crying with laughter. But I am literally crying with laughter at this one.