Embarrassing Doctor Stories

[OooSorryDoctor]

Lighthearted….. I went for a 4 mile walk the other week (5 weeks postpartum and not 100% my idea) and could barely walk the next day. Cue painkillers and a day in bed, until a mysterious rash appeared in the exact spot my knee was throbbing. Husband was concerned and said he’d never seen a rash like it, so better submit a picture to our local GP practice.

Long story short they called me in for an urgent appointment and within seconds I was diagnosed with a heat rash from using a hot water bottle 😆 cue a very embarrassed me apologizing for wasting her time 🙈🙈

Make me feel less embarrassed, what’s your best facepalm doctor story?

Not me, thank goodness, but my DH and his then-partner were camping at a folk festival years ago, and were due to play the next day. The festival was out in the country and they'd got there via public transport. The ex woke DH up at the crack of dawn, absolutely hysterical, saying that her ear hurt and was making a deafening noise. They went to the medical tent and she was told she needed to get it checked out at A&E. They waited hours while someone was found who was willing and able to give them a lift to the nearest hospital, which was many, many miles away. It was heaving when they got there and they had to queue for absolutely ages just to speak to the receptionist. Just as they got to the front of the queue, an ant came marching out of her ear, proudly carrying an enormous lump of earwax, dropped down onto her shoulder and disappeared 😅 By the time they managed to get back to the festival (their lift having just dropped them and gone when he saw the queue), they'd missed their slot, didn't get to play and thus didn't get paid.

When my DS was a newborn he was in SCBU for a while, and was treated for jaundice, among other things. So naturally, when I noticed his skin going a strange colour, I made an urgent GP appointment. However, as I took off his top to show the GP his skin, I noticed that it had a faint shimmer to it. Turned out that my mum had bathed him the night before, and mixed up Johnsons Baby Lotion with Johnson's holiday skin with a hint of shimmer. I was so embarrassed, and the GP couldn't stop laughing.

A “just in case” tampon!!! My toes are curling just from thinking about the feeling of pulling out a half dry tampon 😰

Surely if it was that bad the woman herself would notice???

I used to work with a girl whose mother had died of toxic shock as it was then called - so say from changing tampons too frequently.

She’s a tough lass actually - and just as well really!

I went to a proctologist following severe hemorrhoids I had developed.

Whilst he had his finger up my bum, he asked in a rather surprised way "wow, how long were you in labour?"

I replied, "I wasn't. I had an elective C section"

He, the nurse, and I fell silent, all the while his finger was still right up my bum.

I was mortified that a professional thought the piles I'd developed were akin to having to repeatedly push until a baby came out. I don't know what was going through his mind after that and I didn't dare ask any follow up questions.

Had a very painful boil in the crease where your knickers sit, had to lie down on the bed so the nice young male doctor could have a look. All fine or so I thought. Got home, went for a wee and realised there was a 2p piece sized hole in my knickers where the gusset starts 😱 I nearly died of shame. Holey knickers now get thrown straight in the bin, not washed first as obviously I can't trust myself not to forget which ones have the hole in before I put them back in the drawer.

Rushed 2 year old to hospital as she'd got hold of a bottle of weedkiller while I was dealing with new baby. She'd got the top off and it was half empty. Grabbed her in shorts and vest, no shoes or socks, drove to hospital and must have looked frantic as security man asked what was wrong grabbed the car chair baby was in and ran me through A&E. After hours where she played happily and eventually got restless and hungry and started running round causing chaos as I tried to feed the baby the doctor decided to send us home. As I picked up baby's chair I realised it was soaking wet down the back and yes she hadn't been drinking it she'd been tipping it over the chair.

After the chaos we caused I slunk out quietly.

Oh that's so bad..Poor you.
Thanks for explaining.
That must have been a horrible cut .

I can't understand why your mother didn't;t take you to a GP for such a bad injury to a tender part of your body..I'm upset on your behalf.

I too fell very badly as a child, my knees so badly cut {I was riding my scooter fast through a puddle and a grating trapped the front wheel causing me to land hard on a flinty car park {The Bull, East Sheen}

A man wanted to walk me home as my knees were in such a state, but I was afraid of 'Strange men''...however, he insisted on walking a safe distance away to see that I was ok, and mum saw us and thought I'd been in a road accident because of the bloody knees.

She thanked the man.

She took me to the GP next day and knees had to have treatment.

I am the woman and have a terrible sense of smell!

@thesmedsandthesmoos honestly it was hilarious 🤣

Oh no!

A friend lost her sense of smell after a head injury {she was wearing a helmet} when her horse landed on her during a Cross Country course.

She says it's a sense she really misses.

After Covid, I met a woman who said she lost her sense of small...I had a bag of smelly dog treats to train my young dog with, and the woman couldn't smell those at all, despite getting her nose close to the bag and inhaling deeply.

Pic...Dogs randomly sniffing treets.

Omg. So funny. I read this in a Spanish olè way and am still chortling

Never use glitter spray in your hair for an 80's night with your friends, the day before your smear.

A quick shower and off to went. Yeah I had glittery pubes.

@CJ0374

Staff took him to resus, stripped him off to notice the 'purple' was only where his brand new, unwashed pyjamas touched his body and he was tired because it was 1am!

Oh bless him this did make me chuckle! He probably didn't have a clue what was going on lol - pleased it was nothing serious.

Coco pop. Mums classics!!!!!

Dh was wolfing down a steak and chips dinner - inhaling it really - not fully chewing ... and got a piece of steak stuck at the bottom of his gullet. It wouldn't go down, wouldn't come up. He was coughing and unable to drink because of the blockage.

So we end up in A&E - where a smirking junior doctor turned up with some large forceps. However the smirk faded when the bit of steak refused to budge. So DH had to spend a night in hospital, on a drip, before going down to theatre for the surgical removal of a bit of steak under GA.

Me having a smear test. I joked to the nurse that I wouldn't feel any pain from the pressure as I had had two children. She replied - "Yes, everyone's had a good rummage now haven't they?!!"

I did see the funny side.

My youngest has cholesteatoma, he's had 5 surgeries starting from the age of 3, after the 2nd one, he had packing put in the cavity, he was 4 and he pulled it all out and replaced it with memory foam from his pillow, it took months for his consultant to get it all out, he's 16 now and we can all laugh about it now.

I often suffer from cold, clammy, sweaty feet which are far worse when I’m nervous. I had an appointment for foot related physio earlier this year and was very nervous about a stranger touching my foot. I tried desperately to stay calm but could only focus on the perspiration oozing from my soles. This built to a tsunami of sweat as my feet took on the feel of slimy slugs. I was so apologetic and distracted by it that I couldn’t concentrate properly on the physio exercises I was prescribed and ended up cancelling my follow up appointments out of embarrassment.

With a snazzy flamenco guitar riff flourish! 💃

That is fantastic! 😂

Only last summer, I came around in recovery and was being looked after by a lovely nurse called Gloria. In my post-anaesthetic state, I talked nonsense about her having the perfect name because she was gloriously kind to me, and I insisted I wanted to recommend her to everyone. I was so insistent she eventually got me a pen and let me write a load of drivel about Gloria being glorious on a bit of paper for her to pass on to her manager. The shame

Mine was as a newly minted student nurse.
Came on to start a night shift to absolute chaos on the ward and was asked by the nurse already on shift if I could quickly help a porter who was returning a patient from a scan to get the patient settled before I started getting my handover.
No problem.

So I go into the room, patient is lying on a trolley.
'Hi Mr Smith I'm nurse Tim I'll be looking after you tonight, now let's get you into bed then I'll get handover and come back to you, are you OK on your feet or shall we slide you onto the bed?'
Reply 'I don't have any feet dear'.

He had bilateral below knee amputations.
Thankfully he was a lovely man and found it funny but I was utterly mortified.
It's one of those moments that haunts you at 3am years later 😭

'Coco pop' - singular just makes the anecdote even better. 😂