Embarrassing Doctor Stories

[OooSorryDoctor]

Lighthearted….. I went for a 4 mile walk the other week (5 weeks postpartum and not 100% my idea) and could barely walk the next day. Cue painkillers and a day in bed, until a mysterious rash appeared in the exact spot my knee was throbbing. Husband was concerned and said he’d never seen a rash like it, so better submit a picture to our local GP practice.

Long story short they called me in for an urgent appointment and within seconds I was diagnosed with a heat rash from using a hot water bottle 😆 cue a very embarrassed me apologizing for wasting her time 🙈🙈

Make me feel less embarrassed, what’s your best facepalm doctor story?

After my first baby (EMCS) they didn't rush to get me out of bed as I'd had such a rough time so it was day 2 before they got me up for a shower. All went well until the standing up part and i just knew that there was a lot of blood that would come gushing out. I had a huge maternity pad on but stated loudly what would happen - the midwives/HCA's were lovingly reassuring me it would be fine, got me upright supported on both sides, took two steps and about ten pints of blood gushed down my legs, all over their shoes and my lovely new slippers!! It went everywhere and I was so mortified but they were so lovely about it! Walked/staggered to the shower dripping blood as I went and had the most wonderful seated shower ever - by the time i got back everything had been cleaned up and my slippers were in a plastic bag ready for DH to wash at home. (they had to be binned as he washed them on 90 deg and they never recovered).

Oh, and another one!

Coming round after surgery involving a GA. First thing I was aware of was being rolled onto my side and a pessary shoved up my arse.

As I was rolled back, the nurse who had inserted said pessary said 'I know you! You work in X place in the High Street and helped me with X!'.

And having my first DC in hospital. Second stage had gone on for almost three hours so they called in a doctor to discuss forceps. DC decided they weren't having any of that, shot out of my fanny like a cannon ball, doctor managed to catch them, then looked at my face, was a bit surprised and said 'I've not seen you since we used your beanbag to slide down the stairs!'...

I passed out during a blood test. I came around to a collection of doctors and nurses staring at me

My brother was a teenager at the time and going through his soap dodging stage

He had an issue with his foot,so my mother took him to the doctors

The doctor asked him to take his shoes and socks off,to which he did

He also hadn't changed his socks for 9 weeks-he took them off for his 5 second shower but put them straight back on

The smell was unreal apparently

The doctor looked like she was going to vomit and opened a window as far as it would go

The cure was a regular but proper shower (with soap and not just water) and change of socks every day

I'm nc with the family now but I know it gets told as a funny story-omly my mother has gritted teeth

My own story is I had to go for a smear test and coil change at the same time

Only they couldn't find the coil,but said it would be an 8 week wait for a trip to the hospital to have their doctor take a luck

49 weeks later,they have a cancellation so off I go

I'm sat in this chair,legs spread wide and the most handsome doctor I've ever met between them,who is having a good rummage

I get really nervous around doctors and hospitals and I always get a dodgy tummy round them

I farted in the poor guys face-thank god it wasn't too smelly

Gentle pan-pipe music 😂

Not Drs but vets….

My sister got a puppy (first dog) and was besotted with him. One weekend she was playing with him and discovered some lumps on his stomach. Panic stricken she called the emergency vets, and literally signed down the phone, convinced the dog was going to die. Vet asked her to send through some pictures of the lumps so he could triage over the phone… with it being 8pm on a Saturday night. Which she did.

“Madame (she lives in France), those are the dogs nipples”

she really genuinely didn’t know. 😂

If we're talking about pets...my DM took my hamster to the vets because she thought he had a huge tumour on his rear end.

He was just well endowed!

I tried to home wax a Brazilian. Pulled the strip off and my big labia basically tore a bit from the small labia. Lots of blood.
I went to a and e but hours - there was no blood by then and it was basically repaired.
I was only 25, v attractive and the a&e Dr was very young and new. He was highly discombobulated at having to gently part my lips but I still think that was a good day foe him.

I’m not so sure tbh. Are torn private parts ever so alluring - especially under hospital lighting? I think a good dose of the requisite mood is generally necessary …

As a dc walking along a wall I fell and cut myself.. A man walked me home with blood dripping down my legs! And my shite dm didn't take me to hospital.. Healed as a scar the Dr told me. I never knew! Never had any stitches or tears during labours. ..

I've accidentally left a tampon in once. I think it happened because I was in the middle of changing one on the loo, heard a big bang from downstairs and my 5yo screaming hysterically. I dashed downstairs - she'd banged her head off a door and was ok, but clingy. I consoled her, went back to the loo to finish sorting myself out with DD in tow and still upset. In the chaos of trying to console DD whilst sorting myself out, I forgot that I hadn't yet removed my tampon and must've just rammed another one up there! Only realised a week later when I investigated after something didn't feel "quite right" downstairs.

This is the best one @OooSorryDoctor @Itsjustmyusername hahahahaha

Lounging around in the bath at the start of lockdown and found a lump up underneath my boob. Phoned the GP and got an appointment within the hour as nobody dare go anywhere and they were only seeing urgent things. Doused myself in disinfectant and antibac gel and went to a room covered in plastic sheeting with plastic covered doctor and nurse only to be asked after a bit of gentle prodding if I had ever badly broken my ribs .... well you can guess the answer, I was mortified at the waste of time, antibac wash and plastic.

The pan pipes!! 🤣🤣🤣

I had an abnormal smear, and had to go back for a colposcopy and biopsy of my cervix.

I was lying on a table, bum at the edge, legs in stirrups. The table had a shelf underneath, with implements and things stored on it.

They took the biopsy. I bled. A lot. And it went over the things on the shelf. Cue the nurse in a fluster trying to move things out of the way. I laughed, but they didn't...

I always had a lot of problems with my periods. Started when I was 9 years old & they were horrific - heavy bleeding, blood clots, etc.
Anyway, my mum had me back & forward to Dr, who always referred me to hospital. After a few years, I was maybe about 14/15 & I was getting examined by a Dr.
I wanted my mum beside to hold my hand - pathetic I know!
The Dr inserted the speculum & before he could start the examination, the speculum shot right out & flew over the room! There was an embarrassing silence & my dear mum said "she's a right slack Alice!"
Luckily, I found it funny, knowing my mum! Even the Dr & nurse laughed!

@pbdr 😂😂😂😂😂

Ouch. Have stories but will save those if you’re being treated xx

I've had a sigmoidoscope and wasn't given anything but when I have a colonoscopy, they sedate you into twilight sleep before the procedure begis.

@MudandParsnips 😂😂😂😂

DS2 both times.

DC were playing around and DS1 dropped something on DS2's foot, cue lots of yelling and screaming, we had a look and noticed that his toes were badly bent out of shape and therefore assumed they were broken as he was screaming blue murder. Took him into minor injuries who couldn't see any problems, no swelling etc, all a bit of a mystery really. DH mentioned it to DMIL, who told us to have a look at his nursery photo, where he was posing with his bare feet on display. Turns out he just has weird wonky toes that we'd never noticed before.

Got DS2 into bath aged about 4 and noticed one testicle was really swollen. We were a bit worried about torsion etc so rushed him into children's A&E. Turns out he'd just had a big growth spurt and his pants were a bit too tight but he hadn't thought to tell us (he dressed and undressed himself every day). Rather embarrassing.

Oh my god, I'm genuinely crying with laughter at this. Sooooo funny.

I'm bed ill today and these are cheering me up so much. I haven't laughed this hard in ages

Went for a smear and as she inserted the speculum into my vagina and opened it, I sold something on Etsy or eBay and my phone made a loud KERCHING! sound and I started laughing and the speculum fell out 🤣 the dr said 'well that was a bit awkward wasn't it shall we try again' 🤣🤣🤣

I've told myself that it was a dodgy speculum, in reality I was 17 and incredibly nervous!

This is AMAZING and I can't stop laughing 😂