Embarrassing Doctor Stories

[OooSorryDoctor]

Lighthearted….. I went for a 4 mile walk the other week (5 weeks postpartum and not 100% my idea) and could barely walk the next day. Cue painkillers and a day in bed, until a mysterious rash appeared in the exact spot my knee was throbbing. Husband was concerned and said he’d never seen a rash like it, so better submit a picture to our local GP practice.

Long story short they called me in for an urgent appointment and within seconds I was diagnosed with a heat rash from using a hot water bottle 😆 cue a very embarrassed me apologizing for wasting her time 🙈🙈

Make me feel less embarrassed, what’s your best facepalm doctor story?

Well, I was 39 weeks pregnant. Was absolutely so fed up of being pregnant and was up for anything to get baby out! DP and I got down to business.... and oh my days, the amount of fluid that appeared, absolutely soaked the bed .we thought my waters had broke... we debated phoning for a few hours, waited to see if anything happened. Nothing did, so we then panicked that if they had, baby is at risk of infection. I phoned the midwives... FF a few hours, turns out 'sexual fluid' can increase hugely at the end of pregnancy. Luckily I had a good relationship with my midwife and we had some great banter about it but my god, I wanted the ground to swallow me there and then!

she opened a new one/packet!!

Going to see a doctor on 3 separate occasions with 3 separate highly common, highly identifiable and highly treatable problems and not being accurately diagnosed even one time. Embarrassing on their behalf.

This is similar but I was embarrassed on behalf of the doctor who kept pronouncing my tablets as Clop~i~DOG~rel . They're pronounced Clo~PID~ogrel . I got the giggles and he asked if I was nervous
😄

I had been having internal examinations and was used to being told to lie with my legs raised, knees open and 'floppy' to the sides.
I then had a hysterectomy and had a follow up appointment with the surgeon (very distinguished gentleman with a Harley Street office).
I took off my trousers and pants, and of course carefully folded up said pants and hid them on the chair under my trousers (he's going to look up my fanny, but god forbid he sees my pants!).
I got on the bed and as he came round the curtain I obediently raised my opened legs and let my knees go floppy to the sides. He said 'no need, I just want to feel your tummy first'.
For some reason this really embarrassed me as if I was saying 'here it is! as soon as I saw him.

This had my howling!

I didn't actually end up making an appointment (thank god!) but one time I went to the toilet for a wee, looked down into the bowl and it was bright red. I was absolutely terrified. Went into a state of panic, was sat in a Google black hole about what large amounts of blood in urine could be (my mum had just been diagnosed with cancer so I was even more terrified), was about to ring my GP when my (now ex) DP walked in and I told him. He just went "Is it not from that beetroot we had at lunch?" Panic over 😂

Oh I've just posted my beetroot story too - good to know I'm not alone 😂

Don't worry happens all the time we dont mind. I spent ages trying to find a breast lump in a lady I couldn't find anywhere. Asked her to show me what she meant.... was a freckle

phew! 😅

😂

That's a North / South divide thing... mum works in pharmacy in kent so hence I learnt my lingo from her... went to med school in Yorkshire they say they it the opposite. Now in London and hear both versions all the time

Never use your flannel for a quick once over before a smear test. Especially when the kids have had a glittery bath bomb the night before 😂

😂I am absolutely howling at some of these over my morning coffee - brilliant 😂

i wasnt right in how i pronounced it then when my mum was on it, tbh i only said it that way as it tickled me but we all need a laugh at the time

Years ago a work colleague had an appointment
which necessitated an internal examination.
Just before she was called in she popped to the toilet, as there was no toilet paper she used a tissue from her pocket.
She lay on the couch and the doctor asked the nurse to pass him some tweezers.
He then removed a green shield stamp that was stuck to her public hair.
She was mortified and also annoyed as apparently the stamp was worth 20 points.

I tend not to get embarrassed or put off these days by going to the Drs, as they generally have the attitude of we have seen it all, which is great.
However.... years ago I slept with a guy that had a piercing, and we realised it came off, I tried to dig around in my vag to find it 🤣 but couldn't, so I had to see a nurse who eventually got it out 🫢😳
I was more embarrassed about the fact that she knew that I'd had wild sex the night before!

When my brother was about six he suddenly started screaming and was doubled over in pain. My mother rang the oncall doctor and he was concerned it was his appendix. We made a desperate dash to the doctors office and my brother let the longest loudest fart ever. Problem solved😄

I came on my period really heavily during a smear test.
I nearly had an orgasm when a nurse put a catheter up me.
I went to the hospital for a consultation about my torn knee ligament. The doctor seemed to think I was in for heart surgery. And that I was a 64 yo Pakistani man?!

Me too. When having a Sigmoidascope, I was asked to go and remove my pants and trousers and go and lie down, in my nervousness I replied, "I don't normally do this on a first date". The poor young doctor went puce 😩

I’m laughing out loud at some of these

Mine isn’t embarrassing as such, but during my last smear test, the nurse couldn’t find my cervix. I didn’t know it wouldn’t be possible to locate it 🫣 She had to go and find a doctor, who pretty much found it within seconds.

2 week breast clinic referral for a lump.
It was my rib.
The doc was kind (and hopefully thinking it was nice to have a quick and easy appointment), but I felt like a prize idiot.

Now that one DID make me laugh.

I've suffered with chronic pain for most of my life and I've tried everything to resolve it.

At the GPs a few years ago, I told him the latest things I'd tried. When I next went, another GP left my notes open on the screen so I was able to read them whilst GP popped out. 'TinHat saw a witch doctor and wondered why it didn't work.' I'd seen a chiropractor!

That was embarrassing!

Another smear test story. I am in my 60s and had a fair few over the years.

The nurse examined me and poked around rather a lot and then informed me I hadn’t got a cervix.
Me: I definitely have
Nurse: Do you have children? (Nod) And did you give birth vaginally? (Nod) Well you definitely don’t have one now.
Me: I do think I might have noticed if it had fallen out into my pants.

More poking and peering until she finally announced she had spotted it. I know they can tilt backwards but surely not that unusual?