Embarrassing Doctor Stories

[OooSorryDoctor]

Lighthearted….. I went for a 4 mile walk the other week (5 weeks postpartum and not 100% my idea) and could barely walk the next day. Cue painkillers and a day in bed, until a mysterious rash appeared in the exact spot my knee was throbbing. Husband was concerned and said he’d never seen a rash like it, so better submit a picture to our local GP practice.

Long story short they called me in for an urgent appointment and within seconds I was diagnosed with a heat rash from using a hot water bottle 😆 cue a very embarrassed me apologizing for wasting her time 🙈🙈

Make me feel less embarrassed, what’s your best facepalm doctor story?

When I was 20 I attended an appointment with the practice nurse at my GP surgery for my first ever smear test. At the time I was a medical student, who ultimately planned to become a GP.
The nurse started the appointment by asking the usual sexual health questions, and one of them was "Do you have a regular partner?".

Now, in retrospect it could not be more obvious that she was asking about a sexual partner, but at the time I think just because we were in a GP surgery, and I was an aspiring GP, when she said the word "partner" I immediately thought GP partner. I thought she was asking if I saw the same GP whenever I would come to the practice. So I replied "No one in particular, just whoever is available." She was wonderfully non-judgemental and just noted a little something on my record.
It was about 5 minutes later that, mid procedure and legs akimbo, I realised. I explained what had happened to the nurse and she had to pause the procedure, she was laughing so much.

Not my finest moment.

When my kids were toddlers and at nursery (I was in my 30s) we were all constantly getting ill- it was a relentless round of colds, flu, throat infections etc After my 4th or 5th cold in a row I started to develop what I thought was an ear infection, it was really painful. I couldn't face another round of anti biotics as they cause upset stomach and I saw on social media that if you put a clove of garlic in your ear it would cure an ear infection and was a natural remedy for infection. So I did. Unfortunately, I promptly fell asleep and it fell into my ear canal. It was agony.

I rang my GP and after some suppressed mirth, she told me to go to A&E. When I got there I told the receptionist in a quiet voice that I had garlic in my ear. She looked puzzled and repeated in a loud bemused voice "you have GARLIC in your ear????" causing everyone in the waiting room to look up in interest. I said yes and then had to wait for 2 hours whilst everyone stared at me as if I was mad. Finally, they called me through to be seen by a doctor- they told me I would be seen by a paediatrician as they had the necessary equipment for removing things from ears. I was then ushered through to the children's department, had to lay on a bed surrounded by Mickey Mouse pictures whilst the doctor suctioned it out of my ear. The doctor could barely contain his laughter. I have never been so embarrassed in my entire life and I do wonder what on earth they wrote on my medical records to this day.

Well helllloooooo doctor 😉😂🤣🤣🤣🤣

wtf?? Are you the Incredible Hulk??

I know this is about doctors but I did exactly the same thing with a vet in my early days as a cat owner. Took my kitten in for his vaccinations and mentioned I'd 'noticed a small ridge on his head' ... vet said somewhat witheringly 'that's his skull' 😊

I wasn't sure if I'd pulled out my tampax overnight, GP surgery refused to help and sent me to A&E.

Eventually the poisoned chalice fell to a (very friendly) 6 foot four giant that wheeled the gynae trolley past us all with trays of unpleasant looking devices. He decided to use this episode as a teach in for a junior doctor so I had two faces plus a large light pointed up my fanny.

He described it as this: you start at the top of the cul de sac then you go down the cul de sac, checking as you go. Because it's a cul de sac, it can't go anywhere else. He must have said that word at least 10 times.

To top it off, the cul de sac was empty. I slunk off home making a mental note to never live in a cul de sac.

I’d have yelled “No parking! permit holders only!” 🤣

When DD was a few months old she had a black spot appear on her scalp. I showed the nurse during her jabs who had a look and told me to book in with the GP.
booked in with GP who had a look and said would refer us to hospital in London.
went to see the consultant in London who had a look, then scraped it off with her finger.
it was dirt trapped under some cradle cap.

my god I was mortified.

These are great, I'm howling!

@Howbizarre22 and @blue345 🤣

Anus ole! I haven't laughed out loud at anything on Mumsnet for ages.

I had a dark mole that appeared in my armpit. It looked quite large and had suddenly appeared. I went to g.p. who had a look, then used tweezers to extract the small clump of black wool which must have been left behind when I wore my black jumper - total embarrassment and some relief.

I had a one night stand. Not my usual style and there was some Catholic guilt. A week or so later I was in the bath. Felt a lump on my flaps. Was obviously genital warts as a punishment from god.
Steeled myself and went to the GP.
Babbled the whole story to her whilst I was legs akimbo.
Turns out it was an in grown hair, that she took great pleasure in popping (total sporner).

I have her special permission to tell her mates.

Thanks @litlleseahorse and @pbdr , your tales have made me laugh out loud!

Me myself, thought I’d found a new mole on my foot and was concerned about skin cancer. GP looked at it with a magnifying thing and informed me it was a small blood blister where my flip flops had rubbed at the side.

I discovered what looked like a small brown lump on my nipple when undressing for shower. I threw my clothes back on and raced to go and demanded an emergency appointment. The gp pointed out the lump was in fact a coco pop 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

This made me laugh so much!

"No one in particular, just whoever is available." @pbdr

This had me laughing my head off! 😂

My sisters FIL pronounces it “A Nu Sol” as he refuses to say the words!

About 10 years ago I started getting a red, dry rash all over my face. I started taking photos of it in different lights to show the doc for when I booked an appointment, but to save having horrible rash selfies, I saved into into a different folder on my camera phone. It was about this time that phones started to self make little montages with tacky music and weird colour filters. Lo and behold, when I opened the folder to show the doctor, my phone started playing a pre-reocrded video of my rashy face spinning into focus with some gentle pan-pipe music playing. I immediately tried to stop it it, but the lovely doctor didn't even laugh, he probably thought i had deliberately done it and just said 'aww, that looks really sore!'. Mortifying 🤦

Before I met my husband, I had done a lot of online dating. I went out with this guy who was training to be a doctor. The date was fine, and he was keen but there was no chemistry on my side so I told him it was nice to meet him but I couldn't see it going any further. He was very gracious about it.

Fast forward 5 years and I had met my now DH and was about to give birth to our first child. It was a difficult birth and they had to use forceps and I tore quite badly and they had to call in a doctor to sew up my vag. Guess who came in?- the guy I had turned down on that date 5 years ago. It was so awkward that I just blurted out "so, how have you been?" whilst he was sewing up my nether regions and we just made awkward stilted conversation until he had finished.

I went for a colonoscopy. The doctor looked like George Clooney. Before he inserted the camera, he said “I’m just going to stick my finger up your bottom” to which I replied “ooh, you could have bought me a drink first”. 🤦‍♀️. He had no sense of humour!!!

Oh god 🙈

Rubbish nurse

Not a snarky question - but why is that mortifying? Most 'civilians' mispronounce medication names