Embarrassing Doctor Stories

[OooSorryDoctor]

Lighthearted….. I went for a 4 mile walk the other week (5 weeks postpartum and not 100% my idea) and could barely walk the next day. Cue painkillers and a day in bed, until a mysterious rash appeared in the exact spot my knee was throbbing. Husband was concerned and said he’d never seen a rash like it, so better submit a picture to our local GP practice.

Long story short they called me in for an urgent appointment and within seconds I was diagnosed with a heat rash from using a hot water bottle 😆 cue a very embarrassed me apologizing for wasting her time 🙈🙈

Make me feel less embarrassed, what’s your best facepalm doctor story?

Happens to the best of us. In the olden days they use to give you a suppository before labour

I was waiting for you to say "And then I started singing the Laura Branigan song".

"Gloria, Gloria! You really don't remember?
Was it something that he said, Are the voices in your head calling Gloria?"

Da nuh nuh, Da nuh nuh

I live in Aus and have a genetic form of melanoma in my family. Absolutely petrified of it because I have seen the devastation it causes. I went to the dermatologist when I was mid-30’s who was very impressed with my skin, telling me that it was obvious that I used sunscreen religiously and it was paying off as I looked younger than most Aussie women my age already. I was feeling fabulous about this. While riding the high, I asked him to check a weird mole on my arm to be told, “That’s not a mole, that’s an AGE WART!” Talk about bursting my bubble!!!

She probably thought you were going to ask for medical advice.

😂😂

@Nouvellenovel yeah I bet she's been harangued in the past

I once had a gorgeous trainee doctor sit in on an appointment, I was thanking my lucky stars it was just to tell me a back X-ray was fine and nothing embarrassing!

SSAFA nurse on the one home visit after first baby told me of a new mum who was worried about tiny bruises on her baby's chest. When she watched the mum dress the baby after an examination she saw that the mum was fastening the babygro by pressing down on each fastener rather than lifting them first. Problem quickly solved.

Or she's face blind. Means you can't recognise people when you see them out of context, and is much more common than you'd think.

And not necessarily a bad thing for someone who deals with people's more embarrassing problems...

@CatherinedeBourgh no she definitely recognised me! I don't know anyone who walks with their head turned to one side when walking past people.

Back in the 80s my uncle had a bad throat infection.

I asked him how he was getting on and he said it was no better and he couldn't swallow the tablets he'd been given they were so big.

I asked about them and he said they went very foamy in his mouth and he didn't know what the plastic thing was for. When i looked at the box they were vaginal pessarys.

Oh I would cringe so bad!

Last time I went to the dentist I bit her finger! I didn't mean to, but she was pushing down on the bottom of my mouth to check something and my automatic reaction was to close my teeth together, on her finger, and she yelped!

One of the primary school teachers all of my children had does this, actively ignores any parent she sees out and about in town. The teacher lives a five min walk from school but still drives in in order to avoid having to chat to anyone.
I understand she doesn’t want to stop and chat but a little acknowledgment wouldn’t hurt!

I was given an enema with my first when I arrived at the hospital, but not with my second as they changed the practice in the 7 years between them. Tbh I preferred it with the enema, didn't have to worry about shitting myself during labour and the first post-partum poo was easier.

I had an abdominal hysterectomy and had self-administered morphine on a drip, you just pressed the button and a skoosh of lovely morphine went into your veins. Anyway on Day 2 I was still quite out of it and a very stern nurse arrived with two others to check on me and said 'you haven't moved once since you came back from theatre, you really must move around'. I looked at her and said 'I'm not going anywhere madam'. One of the nurses turned her head away so I think she was smiling. Stern nurse said nothing.
But I think nothing will embarrass me again, after I couldn't pull up my pants after going for a wee. I had the drip stand attached to my cannula with all the various potions going in and couldn't bend down because of the hysterectomy wound. The nurse helping me into the bathroom bent down and pulled my pants up for me like I was a toddler.

I was telling my nurse about a spitting stitch that was stuck in my skin and wouldn't come out no matter how hard I pulled. She got a small pair of forceps, grabbed it and it glided out with zero resistance 🫠

Felt like a right knob 😅

It's not personal, I'm sure.

Doctor's see a lot of people, every day. She will probably know your face, but there's every chance she won't immediately recall who you are and what your issues are - she won't have headspace to remember the ailments of every patient she sees.

It's much easier for her to avoid the conversation than to risk the chance of someone asking questions outside the clinic when she doesn't have their records in front of her.

Ooh I bit a dentists finger once too! I blame him though - he asked me a question and I tried to answer it...

He was a great dentist though, and gently ribbed me about it in a lovely way, he was funny.

I'm pretty sure it's ac hazard of the job!

When I gave birth, my waters didn't break until minutes before he came out. The midwives were annoyed because they almost got one "In the Caul" but were splattered with amniotic fluid instead.

I started yelling "Water Water Everywhere But Not A Drop To Drink" and telling them I was quoting Hemingway. And that he wrote Moby Dick. I got seriously annoyed with anyone who told me otherwise. Wow, nitrous oxide is great stuff.

A few years ago my friend took her three year old daughter to the doctor with ear pain. The doctor (an older male) needed to look in her ear but her little girl was crying and didn't want him to.

My friend was trying to coax her daughter but she wasn't having it. So in desperation my friend thought she'd relate it to an episode of Peppa Pig they'd recently seen and said to her "Dr Brown Bear needs to look in Peppa's ear to make it all better". My friend then noticed the doctor furiously scowling at her - he was Asian and had clearly never seen Peppa Pig. My friend's apologies and attempts at explaining who Dr Brown Bear was just made things worse and she is still mortified to this day.

Have a similar story. Fed my chickens some leftover beetroot. They of course got out that day and the neighbor thought they were seriously ill.

I’m a doctor and was going to comment that I’ve never seen anything remotely embarrassing from a patient and it’s all just bodies etc but actually the panpipe rash would have me in (quiet internal) stitches!

Went to an orthopaedic appointment because I had suspected arthritis in my hip (confirmed now), and I thought I was wearing appropriate clothes - loose black t-shirt and some comfy gym leggings - unfortunately when I arrived I was asked to change and wear a gown instead. I was on my period so wasn't wearing my most flattering underwear, had a big bulky pad on and I hadn't shaved my legs in weeks! I was absolutely mortified. I had to lie on this hard bed and do all sorts of exercises, as you can imagine they were looking at my hips/legs the entire time. Luckily the doctor was lovely and obviously didn't care. But I wish I'd known to shave my legs!!!

Oh, I've just thought of another one! I was working on the gynae ward, cute young male Dr. Went to the bedside of a lovely lady in her 80s, she had had a hysterectomy. She said "when can I resume relations Dr?". Bless him,he thought she meant visit her relatives, and I had to explain.

Not at the doctors as such, it was when my mum came with me to an antenatal class and birth plans were being discussed. My mum is quite deaf and she said in her version of a whisper "They shaved you before giving birth in my day". I stupidly told her quietly they don't do that any more and there was nothing to shave on me anyway, which she announced to the class in another of her whispers "You've shaved yourself very early JL690".