Page 15 | Embarrassing Doctor Stories

OooSorryDoctor · 2024-06-04T19:55:27+00:00

Lighthearted….. I went for a 4 mile walk the other week (5 weeks postpartum and not 100% my idea) and could barely walk the next day. Cue painkillers and a day in bed, until a mysterious rash appeared in the exact spot my knee was throbbing. Husband was concerned and said he’d never seen a rash like it, so better submit a picture to our local GP practice. Long story short they called me in for an urgent appointment and within seconds I was diagnosed with a heat rash from using a hot water bottle 😆 cue a very embarrassed me apologizing for wasting her time 🙈🙈 Make me feel less embarrassed, what’s your best facepalm doctor story?

tillytoodles1 · 05/06/2024 21:30

soooomuchroomforactivities · 05/06/2024 19:52

I rushed my then 9 year old to A&E because she had bright green poo. I was worried sick. After HOURS of waiting (at night) doc asks what she had eaten that day and i rattle it off and then she says, 'and don't forget the green slushie i had mummy?'. Well i wanted the ground to swallow me up. Felt like a giant knobhead that night.

My sister did the same when her daughter had turquoise poo. She'd been to a party and eaten the icing surfboard on the cake.

Calliopespa · 05/06/2024 21:31

cannaecookrisotto · 05/06/2024 20:21

This is very outing but on my 21st birthday, my now DH and I were having... some athletic birthday celebrations... and he must have gone in at a weird angle. I felt a strange pressure and then tearing. Blood started pouring out everywhere, it was like a fucking murder scene.

I was doing my best with tissues but after an hour of just gushing I started shaking, sweating and feeling faint.

Had to ring 999 and got took into A&E to have the inside of my biff stitched up!!! Also had to call in sick to work (I made my mum do it because I was too embarrassed 😂).

How is this even possible? And if there is such an angle surely loads of cave people, Victorians etc must have died doing the deed. I’m not sure I can ever face it again now …

Calliopespa · 05/06/2024 21:37

onetwothreeee · 05/06/2024 21:02

I had been pretty unwell for a few weeks with lots of issues and complications but was partly due to a blocked bowel.
I had been in A&E 3 times in the past 3 weeks (and admitted into hopsital each time) and on the 3rd visit I was sent to A&E by my GP because I was vomiting diarrhea..... I spent a week in hospital, had an operation, and then about 2 weeks later I had more serious symptoms and was back in A&E where I was admitted again.

I'd seen the same member of staff in 2 of my previous admissions and he saw my name on the board and came to see me again.

He greeted me with "Hello, I saw your name on the board so just wanted to come and see if it was you again.... (then very loudly) "You were vomiting feaces"

So many horrors on this thread I didn’t know were possible. Getting ripped open during sex, vomiting faeces… I’m almost too scared to keep reading . 😥

CombatLingerie · 05/06/2024 21:40

@Calliopespa wait till someone mentions ‘banjo strings’😂

Step5678 · 05/06/2024 21:47

My partner found a "lump" inside of me, this was embarrassing in itself but obviously caused us both some concern so I went to the doctor to get checked.

The lovely lady doctor did an internal examination and informed me that the "lump" was actually my cervix. Just a normal cervix sitting where it was supposed to be.

This was about 12 years ago and I still haven't forgiven him for the shame 🫣🫣

Itwaswind · 05/06/2024 21:48

One evening I developed excruciating abdomen pain. I couldn’t move. Concerned it was appendicitis we headed to A and E. After triage, sitting in the waiting room still in pain, I let go of the biggest fart, resulting in the pain almost immediately disappearing. It was all just trapped wind!

Calliopespa · 05/06/2024 21:50

DAZZlanch · 05/06/2024 21:12

Not a face palm type situation but mortifying all the same. In labour two months early with my twins. I’d had a show and my waters had gone. Got to hospital. Met the doctor on duty. Literally the hottest man I’ve ever seen - like a Ralph Lauren model. Not necessarily my type but just beautiful, golden perfection. He wasn’t convinced I was in actual labour, but I was convinced. Told him I’d had a show, waters had gone. Much to my horror, he handed me a sanitary towel, told me to stick it in my pants and to show it to him when more of my mucus plug came out. Of all the encounters I wanted to have with a creation of absolute beauty, showing them a sanitary towel with part of a mucus plug on it was not on the list 🙈🙈 Oh, and he was wrong: I was in labour and I met my beautiful babies six hours later!

Edited

One of the things that is becoming clear on this thread is that a condition of being admitted to medical studies ought to be a distinct lack of hotness. Apart from the poster who seems to have revelled in having her torn labia “gently parted” by a hot doctor ( and we’ll dismiss her as an anomaly) a sexy doctor only seems to make the patient experience more anxiety-inducing.

Also surely they could do better with the allocation of patients to doctors and consultants. Why ARE so many women having to have their mastitis or adolescent budding breasts prodded by men and men flopping their testicles out of their boxers for female doctors. It’s as if triage have an agenda to heighten awkwardness.

Calliopespa · 05/06/2024 21:51

Itwaswind · 05/06/2024 21:48

One evening I developed excruciating abdomen pain. I couldn’t move. Concerned it was appendicitis we headed to A and E. After triage, sitting in the waiting room still in pain, I let go of the biggest fart, resulting in the pain almost immediately disappearing. It was all just trapped wind!

I’m shouldn’t really admit this but these epic fart stories always give me fart envy,

Calliopespa · 05/06/2024 21:52

CombatLingerie · 05/06/2024 21:40

@Calliopespa wait till someone mentions ‘banjo strings’😂

Oh no! What’s that now?

Calliopespa · 05/06/2024 21:54

tillytoodles1 · 05/06/2024 21:30

My sister did the same when her daughter had turquoise poo. She'd been to a party and eaten the icing surfboard on the cake.

Show quote history

“Turquoise poo.” How very descriptive! 🤣

CombatLingerie · 05/06/2024 21:58

@Calliopespa there have been threads (ha ha at threads) on MN in the past about ‘banjo strings’. I am not clever enough to find them. I believe it’s a bit of skin on the head of a penis that PP’s say has been ripped or torn on their partners 😱during sexual relations.

Daims · 05/06/2024 21:59

After a colonoscopy and whilst completely off my tits on gas and air I noticed them attaching a DVD onto the front of my file. I said something like “oh you filmed it - My Bumhole The Movie, it will be a box office hit”, and then fell about laughing.

Calliopespa · 05/06/2024 22:01

CombatLingerie · 05/06/2024 21:58

@Calliopespa there have been threads (ha ha at threads) on MN in the past about ‘banjo strings’. I am not clever enough to find them. I believe it’s a bit of skin on the head of a penis that PP’s say has been ripped or torn on their partners 😱during sexual relations.

This thread is really going to scar me. 😬

GoodHeavens99 · 05/06/2024 22:01

Itwaswind · 05/06/2024 21:48

One evening I developed excruciating abdomen pain. I couldn’t move. Concerned it was appendicitis we headed to A and E. After triage, sitting in the waiting room still in pain, I let go of the biggest fart, resulting in the pain almost immediately disappearing. It was all just trapped wind!

Hence your username!

Calliopespa · 05/06/2024 22:02

Daims · 05/06/2024 21:59

After a colonoscopy and whilst completely off my tits on gas and air I noticed them attaching a DVD onto the front of my file. I said something like “oh you filmed it - My Bumhole The Movie, it will be a box office hit”, and then fell about laughing.

😂At last a story I can handle and enjoy!

Maneandfeathers · 05/06/2024 22:04

Ive given birth 3 times so lots of embarrassing things have happened to me, but honestly the most cringe was being heavily pregnant. Hauling my giant self up onto the bed for the midwife to do the usual checks. She lifted up my top, looked a bit puzzled and then picked off a strip of cheese that had happened to get stuck under my bump and went unnoticed. How long it was there I have no idea. I had a small almost weaning baby at the time so I blamed her.

She just looked at me and gave me the cheese back then carried on while I almost died of shame.

Cherrysoup · 05/06/2024 22:10

raspberryberet7 · 05/06/2024 07:10

I discovered what looked like a small brown lump on my nipple when undressing for shower. I threw my clothes back on and raced to go and demanded an emergency appointment. The gp pointed out the lump was in fact a coco pop 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

😂

DAZZlanch · 05/06/2024 22:16

Calliopespa · 05/06/2024 21:50

One of the things that is becoming clear on this thread is that a condition of being admitted to medical studies ought to be a distinct lack of hotness. Apart from the poster who seems to have revelled in having her torn labia “gently parted” by a hot doctor ( and we’ll dismiss her as an anomaly) a sexy doctor only seems to make the patient experience more anxiety-inducing.

Also surely they could do better with the allocation of patients to doctors and consultants. Why ARE so many women having to have their mastitis or adolescent budding breasts prodded by men and men flopping their testicles out of their boxers for female doctors. It’s as if triage have an agenda to heighten awkwardness.

Show quote history

Yeah, I wish I hadn’t cared but I was at my most vulnerable and I really did. I just wanted bog standard normalcy to see me through the most undignified experience I’ve ever been through. Although, I think it was worse because three hours in, his shift ended. So he got all the grossness and none of the resultant beauty! I think the feeling of vulnerability is key. When you’re looking and feeling your absolute shittest, last thing you want is the antithesis of you!!

Curlygirl06 · 05/06/2024 22:23

oakleaffy · 05/06/2024 18:00

@Curlygirl06 Oh my goodness! I BET it was one of those oldskool Body Shop Glycerine strawberry shaped soaps- they go squishy fast.

Edited

Show quote history

Do you know, I think it was! I'm as blind as a bat without my glasses on, freaked out when I saw this large red lump by my foot. The nurse picked it up very gingerly, guess it was the smell of strawberries that have it away.

Thought of another one that happened when I was in having the twins, not me thankfully.
Another lady had a cs with twins and had a catheter. For one reason or another her bag wasn't emptied and got very full. Eventually it got too heavy and burst, sending a tsunami of wee down the ward, taking the slippers of the lady in the next bed down with it, not stopping until they slapped against the wall. She was mortified. I laughed.

Crispsarethebestfood · 05/06/2024 22:25

16 years old and admitted to hospital with what turned out to be appendicitis. Every single doctor or nurse who saw me wanted to ask if I there was a chance I was pregnant, but kept taking me away from my mum to do it incase I was too embarrassed to say in front of her. Every time it happened it felt like my mum couldn’t find me again for ages (though she was probably buying a coffee or something tbf).
After about the 6th time a doctor came towards me and I just shouted ‘I’ve never even had sex’. Turns out this doctor wasn’t going to ask me that….

alltoomuchrightnow · 05/06/2024 22:27

just spluttered drink out of my nose over the panpipes with the rash

alltoomuchrightnow · 05/06/2024 22:28

And the slippers slapping against the wall! omg I've had THE worst day. .thanks so much for this thread!

CJ0374 · 05/06/2024 22:30

@TheSock Do you have a retroverted uterus like me? I had years of them never finding my cervix during a smear, until I had a midwife/nurse tell me to ask for a long speculum in future. Never had issues ever since and they usually find it quickly now!

MamaLazerou · 05/06/2024 22:30

raspberryberet7 · 05/06/2024 07:10

I discovered what looked like a small brown lump on my nipple when undressing for shower. I threw my clothes back on and raced to go and demanded an emergency appointment. The gp pointed out the lump was in fact a coco pop 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

CutthroatDruTheViolent · 05/06/2024 22:30

You know the appointment you have with the HV after you've had your baby and she wants to know what contraception you're planning on using?

Well, I was at an appointment with the nurse after saying I'd like to go back on the pill. I needed blood pressure and all that done.

Anyway, I was more knackered than usual as I'd just had twins, husband back at work, no car - and to top it off I'd woken late so threw the closest joggers and sweatshirt on and ran up to the surgery.

It wasn't until after my appointment I realised the teeny tiny vest top I'd worn for bed had my enormous milky veiny tits hanging out the bottom while the nurse did my blood pressure they've always been saggy and so they must have just looked like sad little doggy noses poking out.

That was 15 years ago and I still blush when I remember it!