Embarrassing Doctor Stories

[OooSorryDoctor]

Lighthearted….. I went for a 4 mile walk the other week (5 weeks postpartum and not 100% my idea) and could barely walk the next day. Cue painkillers and a day in bed, until a mysterious rash appeared in the exact spot my knee was throbbing. Husband was concerned and said he’d never seen a rash like it, so better submit a picture to our local GP practice.

Long story short they called me in for an urgent appointment and within seconds I was diagnosed with a heat rash from using a hot water bottle 😆 cue a very embarrassed me apologizing for wasting her time 🙈🙈

Make me feel less embarrassed, what’s your best facepalm doctor story?

I went to the doctors with a weird red rash on my thigh. The uber keen trainee gp took it very seriously, ordered blood tests, muttering about cellulitis. The next day I realised I’d spent the evening before I noticed the rash sorting photos with the laptop on my lap. The doctor wasn’t 100% convinced when I rang in to say no need for follow ups.

More recently I noticed my wee was very pale. It seemed to be getting paler and paler and I freaked out in the morning when I had my first wee and it was colourless. I fretted about making a doctors appointment (previous traumatic wee issues) but luckily twigged just in time that the loo cistern was constantly running to the extent that it was completely diluting it in the time it took to finish and stand up. Confirmed by testing in a jug and narrowly missed making an utter twat of myself at the docs and called a plumber instead.

I actually laughed out loud at this one 😂

I rushed my then 9 year old to A&E because she had bright green poo. I was worried sick. After HOURS of waiting (at night) doc asks what she had eaten that day and i rattle it off and then she says, 'and don't forget the green slushie i had mummy?'. Well i wanted the ground to swallow me up. Felt like a giant knobhead that night.

Can I just say as a sexual health nurse and someone who does smear clinics regularly- lots of women are really nervous and say all sorts of wild things when I’m examining them or doing procedures. Honestly I don’t think anything of it, never judge them, sometimes they can be really funny what they say but it’s down to nerves! Any nice nurse (and most are!) honestly won’t bat an eyelid!

😂😂😂

Not me but I remember a poster on here who went to the dentist. He said 'suction' and she thought he was talking her, so she sucked his finger.

I've never laughed out loud from Mumsnet but this still really tickles me.

@LongSinceGotUpAndGone I have a cat one as well.

Come downstairs in the morning and it was like her back legs weren't working and she was dragging them.

I thought it was the end. I flung her in the carrier and burst through the doors at pets at home like "HELP!!! CATS ON ITS LAST LEGS!!!!"

Went it to the vets room and the fucker sauntered right out of that carrier normal as anything. Apparently cats can get cramp 🤦🏼‍♀️.

The nurse shouting STOP FARTING has absolutely KILLED ME 💀💀💀💀💀💀

I was at a ladies social event just networking and I recognised a woman but couldnt place her. On speaking to her, i realised she'd put my coil in tue week before. That killed the conversation.

This is very outing but on my 21st birthday, my now DH and I were having... some athletic birthday celebrations... and he must have gone in at a weird angle. I felt a strange pressure and then tearing. Blood started pouring out everywhere, it was like a fucking murder scene.

I was doing my best with tissues but after an hour of just gushing I started shaking, sweating and feeling faint.

Had to ring 999 and got took into A&E to have the inside of my biff stitched up!!! Also had to call in sick to work (I made my mum do it because I was too embarrassed 😂).

I'm crying 😭

I also remember one posted previously that made me laugh. The poster had taken her baby to the drs. The doctor wanted to examine the baby so advised the mum to put one hand on the stomach, and one on the head. The poster then picked up the babies hands and put one on it's stomach, and the other on it's head!

😂😂😂😂😂❤️it!

I’ve also done the ringing the vet in a panic (during Covid times) because I was sure my dog had picked up ticks. Turns out they were her nipples. Being symmetrically placed should probably have given me a clue

I was only around 9 or 10 but my mum took me to a&e because my nipples were swollen and sore. I was terrified it was some sort of cancer.

Yep, you guessed it… it was just boobs on their way 🤦🏻‍♀️ a male doctor too. It’s seared in my memory for life.

I went to the Dr while pregnant, lovely female doctor when inspecting my stomach commented that she loved my tattoo. I'm confused I have no tattoos, she points out the lovely flame tattoo on my stomach. It was my fucking stretchmarks. DD was 10lb 4.

I had been pretty unwell for a few weeks with lots of issues and complications but was partly due to a blocked bowel.
I had been in A&E 3 times in the past 3 weeks (and admitted into hopsital each time) and on the 3rd visit I was sent to A&E by my GP because I was vomiting diarrhea..... I spent a week in hospital, had an operation, and then about 2 weeks later I had more serious symptoms and was back in A&E where I was admitted again.

I'd seen the same member of staff in 2 of my previous admissions and he saw my name on the board and came to see me again.

He greeted me with "Hello, I saw your name on the board so just wanted to come and see if it was you again.... (then very loudly) "You were vomiting feaces"

I did similar - in the winter I just shave part way up my shin so my ankles are done for if they show in trousers. I had an appointment at the hospital to check a dodgy looking patch of skin (turned out to be eczema).

It was low on my leg so thought I would be able to pull my trouser leg up but the nurse said I had to remove the whole leg from the trousers and then got a (fairly attractive!) consultant in to check the skin - had a lovely line across my shin where the hair abruptly ended and 6m of winter growth above it! Must have looked so weird 🙈

I’ve got tears rolling down my face reading this thread.

I’ve got a few tales but my most memorable is the first smear I went to after having my first child, he must have been about 2 at the time. I ended up having to take him with me at the last minute. Being my first he only ever had healthy snacks, organic obviously, unlike DS2 who has been brought up on wotsits (as an aside, guess who is the fussiest eater🙄)

Anyway, I get him settled in his buggy with a pot of blueberries while I’m behind the curtain legs akimbo. The nurse has a rummage and declares she will need a bigger speculum, sure fire way for your cervix to disappear even further. She doesn’t have the bigger size in the room so leaves to go and get one. Her leaving disturbs my DS who starts whining and fussing and promptly drops the blueberries all over the floor. The nurse walked back in to me on my knees, naked arse in the air trying to pick them all up

Oh heck this reminded me. When I was 3 or so, I was badly scalded by a cup of tea, and had bandages all over my chest for a time to protect the healing wound.

Imagine my mum's horror to discover me hald way through investigating how much soil from a flower pot in the garden I could stuff into the bandage.

I can't think WHY toddler-me would have thought that was a good idea...

Not a face palm type situation but mortifying all the same. In labour two months early with my twins. I’d had a show and my waters had gone. Got to hospital. Met the doctor on duty. Literally the hottest man I’ve ever seen - like a Ralph Lauren model. Not necessarily my type but just beautiful, golden perfection. He wasn’t convinced I was in actual labour, but I was convinced. Told him I’d had a show, waters had gone. Much to my horror, he handed me a sanitary towel, told me to stick it in my pants and to show it to him when more of my mucus plug came out. Of all the encounters I wanted to have with a creation of absolute beauty, showing them a sanitary towel with part of a mucus plug on it was not on the list 🙈🙈 Oh, and he was wrong: I was in labour and I met my beautiful babies six hours later!

I once went to the doctors because I noticed my skin turning blue. I was so worried I had some sort of condition which was affecting my oxygen intake…it was just the dye from the new pair of jeans I was wearing. Absolutely mortified!

My other most memorable is the time my youngest had a burst ear drum. I can’t remember the specifics of why but somehow it ended up being the four of us taking him to the OOH GP. We all trooped into the Drs room and I have hold of my son. My eldest goes in first and I think is stood near the window, I am still stood up and explaininh to the GP what the problem is, I back into where the chair was to sit down, unbeknownst to me my eldest has moved the chair to sit in it himself. I ended up flat on my back holding my baby up to protect him as I fell, like I was fucking rafiki presenting Simba to the pridelands.

Thanks @ChickenMaths and @Tegridyfarms for reminding me of that thread. So funny! This thread is excellent also. I do love the thought of the little baby with his/her little hands being placed on his/her stomach and head😂I have lots of medical ones. I still remember the doctor mistaking the mark my knicker elastic had made on my tummy for a CS scar!
We also had a rescue dog as a child that was very difficult to handle. He had an awful red weeping sore on his tummy. No one could get near him to look at it properly. My parents eventually got him to the vet. The ‘sore’ turned out to be a red Jelly Tot sweet.

Been there with this one too. My crawling baby got rather fascinated with the dishwasher for a time. I was working from home while my husband was doing shared parental leave when I heard "the pain cry". Announced i had to leave my meeting because my baby was hurt. Ran across the kitchen to find my husband holding a screaming baby who was waving her hurt hand around with blood flying everywhere. Apparently she'd grabbed a sharp knife in the dishwasher while my husband was loading it.

I stuck the injured digit under a tap, wrapped it in a clean tea tower and dispatched my hysterical husband for a plaster, that I put over the cut that was still bleeding heavily. I could let tell how deep it was, so I told my boss I wouldn't be back that day, and departed for the minor injury unit, concerned there might be nerve damage or something.

We sat there with the baby for 3 hours. When we saw the nurse and removed the plaster the bleeding had stopped and it looked like a blinking paper cut. :s