Embarrassing Doctor Stories

[OooSorryDoctor]

Lighthearted….. I went for a 4 mile walk the other week (5 weeks postpartum and not 100% my idea) and could barely walk the next day. Cue painkillers and a day in bed, until a mysterious rash appeared in the exact spot my knee was throbbing. Husband was concerned and said he’d never seen a rash like it, so better submit a picture to our local GP practice.

Long story short they called me in for an urgent appointment and within seconds I was diagnosed with a heat rash from using a hot water bottle 😆 cue a very embarrassed me apologizing for wasting her time 🙈🙈

Make me feel less embarrassed, what’s your best facepalm doctor story?

I had a few days in hospital with a post-op infection following a gallbladder removal. Ended up having a second op under GA one evening to flush out abscess and insert a drain. Next morning consultant came and asked to check the drain, so I grabbed the hem of the hospital gown I was still in, and whipped it up, and then realised I'd not put my pants back on when I got back on the ward - too dopey after the anaesthetic - and had just flashed my old-lady pubes at doc and the dozen or so medical students accompanying him. Doc was lovely though, and just gently brought the bedsheet up to cover me. I focused on him though and couldn't even look at the students.

Me too! It's so annoying. It's that they can't reach the cervix properly -it does make for more faffing about.

But there was one Nurse who was superb at it.
I was expecting the usual fannying about, and it was done so fast and without discomfort.

It's like some nurses are good at taking bloods- they have a six sense as to the best place to tap the vein.

Oh my! I haven't laughed so much at a thread in ages, thanks for cheering me up! This should definitely go in Classics.

@Curlygirl06 Oh my goodness! I BET it was one of those oldskool Body Shop Glycerine strawberry shaped soaps- they go squishy fast.

Same here.
Had a long procedure with a crowd in the theatre as it was a new technique with some fancy new equipment.
Apparently I spent the entire time attempting to tell everyone a rude joke, luckily totally incoherent and slurred.
Surgeon asked me afterwards if I'd like to tell it properly.
*cringe

omg, you win!

Some of the others, I think the GPs need to be more sympathetic. This one's hilarious

I’m a doctor of almost 20 years and there is nothing I haven’t seen / heard/ smelt- it genuinely is all in a days work!
The photos set to music really made me laugh though- mainly because it’s the kind of thing that would happen to me!
I’ve also been caught out by the beetroot poo but then remembered what I had been eating 😂
I’ve also worried about my cats “lumps” - nipples!
I am honestly very good at my job, I just seem to lose perspective when it comes to my pets 😬

Now I shall forever call Anusol,Anus Olé.

A friend of my husband's pronounces Omeprazole, as home-appraisal.

Naturally, we do likewise now.

😂😂

When my son was a toddler, he had a Hydrocele - {his testicle looked very swollen} He was referred to a lovely consultant called Mrs Noblett
I made a passing joke to the GP about an appropriate name, but he remained stony faced.
🧐

Wonderful Mrs Noblett here :

https://www.baps.org.uk/news/obituary/obituary-helen-rae-noblett/

I thought my Whippet had a tick - it was just one of her larger nipples and I wasn't wearing my reading specs.
{She had recently had a tick next to her ear that I'd removed, so ticks were on my mind}

I was in hospital with acute pancreatitis caused by a trapped gall stone. The pain was terrible. Morphine did not control it from one dose to the next. One night I was in so much pain they forgot to give me the stuff they give with the morphine that stops you hallucinating.

In the middle of the night a nurse came to give me some meds. She recognised me as her ex-GCSE English teacher and asked how I was doing. I clutched her hand and whispered 'There are little green aliens running around the ward. They are about a foot high, loads of them. They're everywhere'. She explained why I was seeing them and I just went on and on 'Yes, I know but there's one behind the chair now. Quick, have a look. It's hiding.' 'There's a line of them running down the ward. Look.' ' If you don't get them stopped, they'll take over .' 'Don't tell me they're not real, I saw the spaceship land outside in the garden.'

I was mortified the next morning, Her younger brother was still at the school- he never said anything about it though.

When DH came in one night I told him a man was hiding under a large towel behind the armchair next to the bed. I was so convincing he checked.

@oakleaffy thank you for sharing that link. It was a really interesting read.
She sounds like a formidable character but then she would have needed to be in the time she was pursuing surgery as a career. I work regularly with urology surgeons and they are some of the nicest people I know.

And blue ice team can turn your poop green!

It's my GP who gets the giggles.
During the covid time, I had to see her and she had to feel my tummy. (Can't remember why.) I was lying on the couch, she was all geared up - face mask, clear plastic visor and her glasses. She started giggling - everything had steamed up and she couldn't see what she was doing. Set me off, as well. Anyone walking past the room must have wondered what was going on. Best GP I've ever had. We always seem to end up laughing.

Thank you, I’m crying with laughter now. 😂

It’s exactly the sort of weird thing I can imagine saying myself.

I took my son to the GP as he had a really sore throat. I asked him to check for tonsillitis. When the GP looked at his throat he reminded me that he doesn't actually have any.

To be fair, he did have them removed a good 5 years before that appointment.

oh wow. I did NOT know 'losing' them was common. 😳

I came round from the anaesthetic for my appendicectomy and heard someone shouting and swearing in the recovery area. And then I realised it was me 😳😳😳

Later on during that admission I took myself to the toilet as the nurses seemed quite busy. I managed fine until I got back and tried to get back into bed. No matter how I tried, I couldn’t manage with my abdominal wound. My final attempted manoeuvre resulted in me on my knees at the bedside, unable to get up. I had to pull the buzzer and when the nurse came in all I could say was “er…I’m stuck” 🤦‍♀️

I think they were probably relieved when I was discharged

On the other side....I was working in the ED, when it was called casually, which this very young Dr. Woman came in,in a cubicle. High powered job (won't say what) she had an expensive power suit on. Said she had a spot on her nose that wouldn't stop bleeding. While he's looking at that, she says "shall I underdress.whipped the Suit off,to reveal the dirtiest underwear! He's really embarrassed, asked her if she had picked the spot,"oh,yes", she said. Working on the orthopaedic ward, brought a nun back after an operation, she was screaming, swearing like a navvi, and claiming that she had just given birth!

I puked in the nurses room sink at my GP following a coil removal that was very painful. The doctor that did the removal remembered it still months later. I obviously made quite an impression there lol

Funniest thing was a different doctor saying my adenoids looked nice and healthy. I responded by saying that I had them removed as a child. What the hell was the doctor looking at? An ENT doctor confirmed that they hadn't grown back 🙄

I came round from the anaesthetic for my appendicectomy and heard someone shouting and swearing in the recovery area. And then I realised it was me

I came round from my hip replacement half-way through lecturing/abusing my lovely consultant about why he'd cemented my hip which I'D SAID I DIDN'T WANT (it was uncemented so no idea why I was convinced otherwise and in any case I am not a surgeon).

He wasn't in the recovery room after the first hip replacement which makes me fear I'd been sufficiently belligerent and obnoxious that they'd dragged him in to calm me down for the second operation. I ended the one-woman medical monologue by projectile vomiting for good measure.

I feel I should apologise for whatever I'd said to him prior to the part I remember but decided it's best left (perhaps the cul de sac episode was my medical karma).

Had an argument with a dr tried to storm out but went through the wrong door and ended up in a cupboard 🤣🤣

Oh this thread has been very amusing to read!

I think I've blocked out my most embarrassing memories with medical staff but last month I went to the nurse for a general check up and at one point she asked what contraception I use, and for some reason I blurted out 'well I find not having sex works quite well'. She looked at me and said 'well, you were brave to tell me that'. I was a bit embarrassed but she was lovely and we talked about it then moved on to the next subject but after I saw the doctor two weeks later for the follow up appointment, I checked my notes online and saw that she had written that part there so now its in my notes forever and that makes me cringe. And the doctor asked to look at my foot because I mentioned I've been having issues with my achilles tendon on and off, it was a really hot day and he had to hold my sweaty foot.