Health visitor is a waste of time

[WhenSunnyGetsBlue]

A need a little rant.

I'm getting seriously wound up by my health visitor. I see absolutely no point in going to the appointments, she is completely incompetent.

The centre is a 40 minute walk away, so it takes a fair amount of effort to get there and back. It started when my daughter was 5 days old and I had to walk to the appointment with my stitches. I mean surely it's in the name Health 'visitor'.

At every appointment she has been useless with broken English. I find her incredibly patronising. She takes phonecalls during appointments, and is generally rude and judgy in my opinion.

I got a phonecall from her yesterday saying, "you've missed your appointment again" in a condescending voice. (For ref, the first appointment she cancelled, not me). I asked her what appointment. She hadn't notified me, no text, no letter. Nothing. She then said I had to attend an appointment today at 1pm (less than 24 h notice).

I know it's a little thing, but I really can't wait until we don't have to see her any more. What are other people's experiences? Am I being oversensitive? Anyway....I better wake my baby up from her nap to go this appointment now otherwise we will be in trouble for being late!

Do you have to see her? Is a health visitor mandatory?

You don't have to go. You don't have to see her.

My youngest is 8 and HV used to come to your house btw.

You don't have to go to see the health visitor if you don't want to. Just phone their main number and tell them that you will only be attending the child development check appointments from now on.

Medical services are voluntary - you can stop seeing her and do not need to give a reason.

Mine was so condescending (and lacking in the brain cell department) that I told her to please leave my house and not to come back. No regrets!

How old is your child now? I only had ab appointment at 5 days which you've said is already past, after that it was pop to the clinic if you fancy a weigh-in or a chat about anything.

So unless there's a particular reason she's suggested you need extra help you don't have to see her.

Yeah, they're very hit and miss, and that's me being unduly generous. Just tell them you don't require their services. If you're worried about anything you're better off seeing a doctor anyway.

You don't have to participate with health visiting it's completely optional.
In most areas the HV come to your house rather than you visiting them. You also seem to be visiting quite a lot unless these are weigh in clinic appointments?
There are set appointments they offer once you've been discharged by the midwife and your first one was surely when you were still under the midwives if it was 5 days.

If you still want to be part of the health visiting service you can always request a different one

You don't have to use the service or if you want to you can request a different HV.
If the clinic is a 40 minute walk away and difficult to get to - just tell them that and say you won't be attending that clinic.
Unless you have concerns about baby's weight or feeding you don't have to attend.

You don't have to see them I had my dc decades ago and HV would see you at home once you had been dismissed by the midwife . I don't think they are useless they are retrained nurses aren't they and I do think they know their stuff but again you don't have to trudge 40 minutes to see them if you don't want.

Thanks for the replies! I think this is our 5th appointment and she's only 3 months old. My daughter is 50th percentile and growing beautifully. No concerns at all. All she does is lecture me about vitamins and criticise my parenting. I will be telling her this is our last appointment.

I understand your frustration, especially if it feels like she is disorganised in some ways and coming across as condescending.

However, I think it's unnecessary to criticise her language ability. It takes two to converse. Play your part by listening differently.

I had very little contact with HV's. I didn't need them, so declined.

What are the appointments for? this doesn't sound normal to me unless there are concerns you haven't mention. I saw my daughters hv once at 10 days old (at my house) and never saw her again my daughter is now 7. This many appointments isn't normal where I am you could bring your baby in to get weighed but it was a complete choice and not an appointment it was a walk in clinic and you could discuss any concerns but not scheduled appointments so obviously more to this.

Who is 'they'? And what authority do 'they' have?

This is excessively paranoid, they're not going to be suspicious if you don't want to attend further appointments. Just tell them that you have no ongoing concerns, and so no need for any further appointments. If that changes, then you know how to get in contact with them, or your GP, as necessary. That's all.

I'm not sure they will. HV are massively understaffed and overstretched. They have seen OP 5 times and if they have not identified concerns they are not likely to do anything.

First HV was brilliant. Helped me no end - a good listener and full of great suggestions.

One for DS2 was useless, and in fact did more harm than good, making a huge issue about his small head when the most obvious explanation according to the paediatrician is heredity. GP was not impressed with how she handled it.

Both came to our house after the mw discharged me. I only went to the unit for jabs.

"They" can want whatever they like, they don't have any authority over a private citizen at all. This is exactly the high-handed attitude that people loathe from health visitors; mothers are treated like incompetent children and made to feel that they're being grudgingly allowed to make decisions for their own children.

@MakeTheFriendshipBracelets surely saying "I can't get to the clinic because it's too far away so won't be attending" is very different to simply saying "I won't be attending".
That's not declining a visit - it's stating a fact.

They can note what they like. That's just for in case there is a child protection concern later on, both to cover the HV from accusations and to build a picture of the family. They are not going to do anything with that information unless there is a later child protection/ safeguarding concern.

And its just a record for case load management/ supervision of the HV.

Its really nothing for OP to be worried about.

Mine came when my daughter was 10 days old. She was awful. I told her not to come back. She tried and I didn't let her in, told her I'd call if I needed anything and that was that.