Health visitor is a waste of time

[WhenSunnyGetsBlue]

A need a little rant.

I'm getting seriously wound up by my health visitor. I see absolutely no point in going to the appointments, she is completely incompetent.

The centre is a 40 minute walk away, so it takes a fair amount of effort to get there and back. It started when my daughter was 5 days old and I had to walk to the appointment with my stitches. I mean surely it's in the name Health 'visitor'.

At every appointment she has been useless with broken English. I find her incredibly patronising. She takes phonecalls during appointments, and is generally rude and judgy in my opinion.

I got a phonecall from her yesterday saying, "you've missed your appointment again" in a condescending voice. (For ref, the first appointment she cancelled, not me). I asked her what appointment. She hadn't notified me, no text, no letter. Nothing. She then said I had to attend an appointment today at 1pm (less than 24 h notice).

I know it's a little thing, but I really can't wait until we don't have to see her any more. What are other people's experiences? Am I being oversensitive? Anyway....I better wake my baby up from her nap to go this appointment now otherwise we will be in trouble for being late!

My HVs like my midwives were shit. My babies were fine so they looked for problems and never answered the questions I did have. On my second pregnancy I sacked the midwife as she was a B on wheels.

Cancel your next appointment and inform the office you won't be serving them again. If the HV can't speak coherent English she shouldn't be working in the NHS.

How many appointments do you have ? They came to the house when baby was a week old then I had an appointment at 6 weeks and at 12 weeks. Not exactly that onerous ?

@Needmorelego You have a fair point. My hostility has built up over the last 3 months. After one of the appointments I came back in tears (and I never cry). This was a run of the mill appointment. It's not so much what she said but the way she said it that wound me up. Also the attitude of "you have to come in at 1pm tomorrow" (less than 24h notice), walk for 1hour 20 minutes for a 10 minute appointment so she can ask run of the mill questions, the answers to which can be found on the NHS website eg. you know about SIDs?

@trippily sorry I thought the baby was 5 months not 3.
If she's only a couple of weeks away from 6 months it would probably be fine to try solids.
BUT..... that's what the HV is for. The advise and help with issues like this.
But as others have said there's this strange "boo hiss to health visitors" Mumsnet thing 🤔

@WhenSunnyGetsBlue you need to be more firm about how that clinic is too far from home and you struggle to get there.
There may be an alternative that's nearer.
But if you don't tell them.....they won't know that.

Why are you going to them? Midwife and health visitor should BOTH have been coming to you? HVs have drop in clinics but they’re optional for mums to attend if they feel they need to.
They should have been to your home to ensure no concerns with living conditions (I’m sure your home is fine and I’m not saying there are any concerns but it’s an important part of their assessment!)
Really shocking that you’re having to visit the HV and midwife yourself OP, this is not usual at all.

Like should you feed less? Cut down on breast milk and start adding solids.

Sounds like HV advice to me...are you an HV in disguise @Needmorelego

@ObliviousCoalmine no I'm not a health visitor 🙂
I would like to repeat I miss read and thought the baby was 5 months not 3.
No solids just yet OP 👶

My health visitor was a godsend.

I'm always at the amount of people who say they are a waste of space for asking routine questions to get a baseline of what support or information a woman or family may need.

You may be ok, but women in your exact same background, education, financial circumstances could be going under. The only way to find out is to ask rather than assume someone with a degree isn't being financially abused or knows not to give a 3 month old honey.

A lot of mumsnet comments seem to be a mix of how dare you imply I'm less than norland trained because you're checking if I'm properly cosleeping and why didn't someone (hv, midwife) do something by mystic megging a problem- can't ask about breast feeding or latch because it is deliberately guilting formula feeding and simultaneously responsible for low breastfeeding rates by not offering targeted, support that doesn't involve checking what/how the baby is fed or getting on.

I'm much better than these 'bints', after all what does an experience nurse with an additional specialist qualification have to offer over Google

All while making mums who desperately need support or a sounding board anxious about the first appointment or failures for valuing help they receive.

I had a midwife come to see me and check DDs almost daily for about two weeks after I had them.

HV appointments were always optional and it was just a drop in. I went every week religiously with DD1 for quite a while then dropped it to one a month then stopped going.

DD2 I didn't go to as many drop ins. She was such bouncing baby and I was much more confident about feeding etc. We did get a HV home visit also when she was very small.

I've never encountered as much hate for health visitors as I read on here, asking routine questions is seen as prying and commentary on parenting, it's just bizarre.

I had an HV come for one visit when my first was born then she resigned (hopefully this was just a coincidence). Never had one for my DD. I live in an affluent neighbourhood of London but they just couldn't hold on to them. So as part of my routine I'd walk to the clinic (about a mile) and visit them. Not that I got any good advice - my son was a bit cranky and it was always 'he's teething'. Well he was 'teething' forever as he didn't get his first tooth til he was 13 months!
Just say thanks but no thanks, though perhaps a constructive letter to whomever's in charge?

I remember discussing and laughing at/being horrified by some of the advice given by HVs with other mums IRL nearly 20 years ago, and have heard some disparaging remarks about them from midwives and GPs. Personally I've found some of them good, some not so good. Certainly not just a MN thing.

Yeah mine was rubbish.
There were two things that I really could have done with help and support over and she couldn't have been more disinterested.

@Mrsjayy no hate here. I'm sure there are many excellent Health Visitors. My experience, however, has been terrible. I live in one of the most deprived areas in London where they are used to seeing some pretty terrible things I imagine. If someone is identified as vulnerable for whatever reason, routine questions really are prying. For me, every appointment has felt like my parenting is under scrutiny.

I think I only ever had the two visits at 1 day pp and then two weeks pp. and then never heard from them again until the 1 year review 🤷‍♀️ in our area they don't even take calls, they just have a parents text line but it's only open 9-5pm on week days so they have a bit of a backlog each day of all the evening and night texts.

They were cheery and nice but a little pointless.

It’s a very long time since I’ve seen a health visitor but they’ve always been either brilliant or a total waste of time.

The last health visitor we had was awful. My son was diagnosed with a disability at 10 months old, she rang to ask if I could bring him in to show a student what a child that will never walk looks like.

Oh my goodness. Do not feed a breastfed baby less. Or start solids.

Thank you but we'll be declining your service from now on. We know where you are should we have any need in the future. Please update your records accordingly.

Most are not health visitors. Most are child development practitioners who work with the health visitor.

If you need breastfeeding advice, you're best to contact la leche League and a lactation consultant. Health visitors are not trained in that area, wouldn't know the reasons why breastfeeding on demand is of benefit to mum and babe.

I found their visits completely pointless. They didn't tell me anything that I didn't already know and I didn't need to know their weights as they were growing really well.

That's nonsense though, it is a requirement of all public sector public facing roles to have good enough English to to the role adequately.

"Public authorities must ensure that members of staff in such roles, whatever their nationality or origins, are able to speak fluent English or Welsh. This means that they must have a command of spoken English or Welsh which is sufficient to enable the effective performance of their role."

If the service users struggle to understand them, or build relationships with them becuase of difficulty communicating, they can't be effective.

I had one, over 40 years ago, who was English. She was pretty hopeless, so I blew her out, and just used to go to the clinic for weighing etc.

@CorpusInterruptus I have said TWICE that I miss read and thought the baby was 5 months.
At 5 months some babies may be ready for solids and HVs would advise on this.
I DO NOT think a 3 month old should be given solids.

I quite enjoyed getting my DC1 weighed regularly and the HV was alright. I had a car, though, so could drive there.

For my second I went less often and the HV was less nice. Seemed racist, (I’m white British) when she talked about a certain area of town known for its ethnic mix being a bit of a ‘black’ spot with noticeable emphasis. Didn’t bother going back after that. They are just people, some nice some less so. Some competent some less so.