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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do your kids like going to school?

109 replies

Howsaboutthatthenhey · 03/06/2024 22:52

Dd had a friend over at the weekend (they’re 6 & 7)
They were sat playing together in the trampoline, chatting away.
I heard Dd say ‘I don’t want to go to school tomorrow, but I have to’ her replied ‘I don’t either, but I have to go’ he said it in such a sad way and they both seemed so sad. Minutes before they’d been playing so happily. Both very outgoing, happy kids.
Felt so sad to hear them and see the change in their faces during their little, private conversation
I often feel I’m making Dd go to school, are we doing it all wrong?

OP posts:
Pin0cchio · 03/06/2024 22:58

Mine like it?

They love seeing friends, like the teachers and are happy with the classroom activities

Pin0cchio · 03/06/2024 22:58

(Ps mine are reception & y2). Eldest in particular sprints in happily every morning.

Sparrow7 · 03/06/2024 22:59

Mine loved junior school, not so keen on secondary.

Original poster
Howsaboutthatthenhey · 03/06/2024 23:02

They both go to the same school, could it just be the school then? I so wanted Dd to love school, I’m a teacher and most of my old pupils seemed really happy to come in. Dd only just turning 6, could it be their ages and in a couple of years they’ll enjoy it more?

OP posts:
Nix32 · 03/06/2024 23:05

I think going back after a holiday is always tough, particularly if home is a nice place to be.

Do you really want to go back to work after a holiday? It's just the same.

mynameiscalypso · 03/06/2024 23:05

My DS is 5. He loves school. But he also is inherently lazy and would always prefer to stay at home, watch TV or play Lego if he had the choice. Which he doesn't obviously!

AnneLovesGilbert · 03/06/2024 23:06

Mine’s in reception so I’m still starting out but she absolutely loves it. I worried myself into sleepless nights in the weeks before in case she hated it - she hadn’t been in much childcare before though she enjoyed what she’d done - but she adores everything about it. Her teacher is wonderful, the school is tiny and she’s friends with everyone in her class, it’s comfy, cosy, and she’s learning and thriving.

I’m sorry your DD is having a hard time 💐

BeachHutsAndDeckchairs · 03/06/2024 23:07

Not really but they go. They like seeing their friends and I think secretly they like some of the lessons. They're 11 and 13.

Original poster
Howsaboutthatthenhey · 03/06/2024 23:16

@AnneLovesGilbert That sounds so wonderful 💓I so wish Dd had this experience, and her friend

OP posts:
kezzykicks · 03/06/2024 23:21

Mine both go to a wonderful, over subscribed school and are doing really well there and they both hate going. It makes me really sad to send them, they especially find it hard after the holidays.

Arnia · 03/06/2024 23:24

Mine (same age) half heartedly complain about it occasionally especially in the mornings when I wake them up they whinge and say they don't want to go, they're "too tired" etc etc. but once they're up and dressed they're fine and go in happy enough. They don't love it but don't vehemently hate it either which I assumed was the norm for most school children?!

Original poster
Howsaboutthatthenhey · 03/06/2024 23:25

@kezzykicks What do they say they hate about it? Dd just says she wants to stay at home and with me. She’s very independent at other times, no mention of me when she goes to neighbour friends houses without me and even I work at weekends and she’s with Dh

OP posts:
Flanjango · 03/06/2024 23:29

Over 57k members of the fb group not fine in school are testament to the fact the current school system doesn't work for many. 3 of mine struggled. All autistic with varying needs. One never made it through seniors, one was constantly sick with stress and another self harmed and took od. If I had a Time Machine I'd get them all out after year 6. 🥺

iwentjasonwaterfalls · 03/06/2024 23:29

My daughter loved school until this year (Y5). Behaviour in the class deteriorated and her poor teacher was spending most of each day dealing with a group of boys who only wanted to argue about football all the time. My daughter would be sat there wanting to start work or even wanting to read a book but unable to get the teacher's attention to ask if she could read quietly because all of the attention was being taken by these arguments in class, and it was distressing her (she's sensitive to loud noise).

She asked to be home educated earlier this year and it has been the best thing ever. She adores learning again. I told her she didn't have to go to school anymore and she said "I will actually get a good night's sleep tonight" 🥺

It's such a shame because she loved school, but she has no desire to ever go back now - she wants to be home educated for the rest of her compulsory education 🙂

RainbowZebraWarrior · 03/06/2024 23:30

My DD doesn't like school. She's Autistic so she masks a lot and it exhausts her.

Despite trying, I don't think school get it. Or are able to / have the funds and resources to.

I think teachers are overworked and often firefighting.

I feel the education system is a bit broken really, and that so much more us expected these days from teachers, pupils and parents.

Part of it is due to modern day issues, and part of it I blame Michael Gove for (major changes to the curriculum)

TheSnowyOwl · 03/06/2024 23:30

Mine all go to the same school. Two are really happy to go in and the third, despite having a far better friendships group than siblings, hates it but seems ok once settled.

NuffSaidSam · 03/06/2024 23:35

They don't hate it and when they're there I think they actually quite like it, but they'd always choose to be at home/they always prefer the holidays. I think that's pretty normal tbh and most people's experience of work too.

ConfusedConfuse · 03/06/2024 23:35

No my children don't like school and one is a school refuser he gives me hell in the morning getting him to school and cries all the time that he has to go, he hates it so much. if they had it their way they wouldn't go at all. I'm more surprised when people say their kids like school tbh

SleepEatSnoozeRepeat · 03/06/2024 23:39

I think a lot of kids have a better time at home doing the things they enjoy so of course, school is not a great option to be enjoyed!
I also think there are crunch years. For a bright, NT child there are brakes put on them in years 2, 6, 9. My kids are years 6 and 9 and good grief, going back to school today has been a trial. They are marking time. The y9 has to do 7 more weeks of subjects she knows she will never do again and hates. The y6 may as well have the 7 weeks off. I don’t blame either of them for complaining.
Add in any additional needs, bullying, general bad behaviour in schools, yeah it can be a miserable place.

sunflowerdaisyrose · 03/06/2024 23:40

My eldest is in year 5, very intelligent, sporty and sociable - but hates school. She's autistic and finds the environment so hard and some of the children are unkind. She's been in many theatre productions (amateur and pro) and tv shows and she's so comfortable in these environments with much nicer kids but school is not a good place. My year 4 son likes it most of the time, but looks forward to holidays!

Original poster
Howsaboutthatthenhey · 03/06/2024 23:40

@ConfusedConfuse Do you worry about him going there if he hates it that much? I hate seeing Dd upset about it and wonder why I’m putting her through it, she’s so happy in other areas

OP posts:
sunflowerdaisyrose · 03/06/2024 23:43

@Howsaboutthatthenhey I worry about this constantly, I feel I'm breaking her spirit but don't feel I have the skills/time/ability to home educate!

ConfusedConfuse · 03/06/2024 23:48

Howsaboutthatthenhey · 03/06/2024 23:40

@ConfusedConfuse Do you worry about him going there if he hates it that much? I hate seeing Dd upset about it and wonder why I’m putting her through it, she’s so happy in other areas

Yes it upsets me a lot especially since his school isn't understanding a said he is manipulating me 😒 he's hated it since reception

kezzykicks · 04/06/2024 07:50

@Howsaboutthatthenhey my dd (aged 6) just says she wants to stay at home instead. She's very sociable and interested in learning so it surprises me but I think the school day is just too long for her. If it was shorter or if it was 3 days a week I think she would do better - she just finds it super tiring and over stimulating. My ds (age 8) says it's boring. He's intelligent but not exceptionally so and the school really pushes the children academically so I'm not sure why he finds it boring. I think they do a lot of literacy and maths and he would prefer a wider variety of subjects. Both very independent and I have never had issues with them crying, not wanting to leave me. They do get anxious the night before but they sort of accept they have to go, just very vocal about hating it.

pinkstripeycat · 04/06/2024 08:05

My DC didn’t like primary at all but secondary was better. In year 8 DS2 kept being sick as he was so anxious. School gave him a get out of class pass which helped.

My friend and hated all schools and would stay at each others houses all the time so we weren’t alone and feeling worried before school. Nothing bad ever happened but we were always so worried