What's your cautionary tale?

[BrightInMyNorthernSky]

Having just got through the most stressful week ever due to a nightmare situation of my own making, I thought I would share a previous and current cautionary tale.

1. Always remember to change the address on your V5 and not just your license. I didn't. DH got caught speeding twice on the same day on the same stretch of road (33 in a 30) in my car. Both fines went to old address. Didn't answer them, obvs. The whole sorry mess played out without me being aware and by the time it all caught up with me it was had been banned from driving for six months and fined £2k - five months earlier! So had been driving while banned for five months!!!

It was well over a decade ago. I was mainly confused about it on the day because our guests saw it first and kept asking about it and I hadn't a clue what they were on about. Somehow it got round that it was an homage to my husband's Irish roots and everyone seemed pretty satisfied with that story. When I finally saw it my eyes almost fell out of my head. I did think it was a mixture of funny and horrifying at the time but mainly funny. I do wish we had photos though. I put my foot down about that and now I think it would be hilarious. I rang the bakery after to ask about it and they insisted I said green. I said didn't you think it was a bit strange and they said they got all kinds of requests.

...or next to your ear-wax remover.

Always trust your gut. Your instincts are right.

When someone close to you has died, be very very careful about trusting any relative or the deceased's girlfriend. Where money is involved people are only out for themselves and will take advantage of you and manipulate you without a second thought.

Work friends are usually just that. When you leave a job don't expect to remain friends with colleagues - you'll most likely be disappointed.

Don't I know it!

The man I fell in love with owed £15,000 and was paying 15% interest. I helped him by lending him the money at just 7%. He was SO SO SO grateful. It halved his monthly payments.

Then he never made a single repayment to me. Ever.

I’m sorry to hear @WearyAuldWumman that’s hard to deal with.

Thread for Classics, I think.

Be the nicest version of yourself around Primary school parents. Your children will suffer/benefit from your behaviour/attitude in their childhood relationships, it will dictate their social standing more than you think. It may also carry through to Secondary school. Hope that makes sense.

I get a reminder text from my garage these days 😁

Thank you.

I didn't expect them to step up and become carers, but if they'd shown a bit more care towards their dad, it would have helped. I get the impression they didn't want to cope with disability.

His ex's 3rd partner had been DH's best pal and by then we all had (we thought) a reasonably civilised relationship. (The bloke who was the ex's Affair Partner had died.) I think the pal did a lot to help. Any time the kids were up visiting and DH hosted a meal, the ex and the pal were also invited. DH paid for everything. The pal reciprocated - we were all invited to his birthday bash, for example.

DH's pal died. I felt sorry for the ex and I took her to and from hospital for an op, since there was no sign of any of the kids coming up to help.

She mentioned a trip with her daughter and granddaughter. It turned out that it was an actual 18th birthday celebration. The only family member not to be invited was DH - we found out via social media - and I'm certain that it was because of his disabilities. He was completely compos mentis, but had had to learn to walk again and I had to cut up his food for him.

DH did ask his daughter why he hadn't been invited. She simply replied "Oh. I didn't think you'd want to come."

Don't gamble with anyone named after an American state.
Don't play golf for money with someone with just one sun tanned hand
Don't try to pet strange dogs, cats, bears, lions etc
If something seems too good to be true...it is
Trust no one
Always ensure you have put the lid on tightly before shaking the ketchup
Always put down dust sheets
Never rub a stain or spot, dab
Always double check the knots when you tie something to the roof of the car.
There's no such thing as a dead cert
Or a coincidence

If you have lots of Scotch Bonnet chillies left at the end of summer after you have been growing them don’t decide to make your own chilli flakes at home in your oven. The fumes will nearly kill you.

My father did that once with Polo Ralph Lauren aftershave. I think he was probably a bit pissed though

Better than the other way around! Deep heat is agony when put on your haemorrhoids!

Wash your hands extra throughly, and then a couple more times; in between chopping scotch bonnets and removing contact lenses. Even if hours in between.

Don’t get involved in car share arrangements with someone you work with (especially with someone who doesn’t drive). It will go on for years.

Always get a horse vetted before purchase. No exceptions, even when buying off friends.

Always complete your snagging list on your new build before the deadline.

Always ensure your car has water in it. Head gaskets are expensive.

Always triple check every line in an employment contract. Your line manager can change at any moment and you’re lumbered with a crazy witch.

Always be in a union (see above).

Never date someone who slates their ex. In fact, make a point of befriending all exs wherever possible.

I fell for this, thankfully only on one tap. Rescued it by rubbing with tin foil (gently) and polising with Peek. Not perfect but now not immediately noticeable!

Don’t slam the door when getting out of a car on a bridge.

Unless your name is Jesus don’t try to walk on water - you will get wet …

Check the legs of your jeans for yesterday's knickers before putting them on.

Don't put an old 9V battery in your bag if there's a couple of loose screws in there as well.

Send any written communications with the DVLA (and probably any similar organisations, though the DVLA are the one I have experience with…) via recorded delivery.
That way, ~when~ if they don’t process your V5 address change, you can chase them up and they can’t just fob you off with what appears to be their standard response of ‘we never received that’.
It seems like an unecessary expense at the time, but after it happened for both our cars during two separate house moves in under a year, trust me when I say it’s cheaper than a replacement V5….which was £25 each at the time, over a decade ago! I’m still furious! 😂

If your key card doesn't work, it's not your hotel room, so don't ask the cleaner to let you in just so you can chill out on a stranger's bed in your bikini for way too long looking at your phone.

Check the registration plate of the car you are getting into if there are two cars of the same model and colour. Don't immediately assume the lady who is trying to stop you driving 'her car' is the crazy one.

Take your HRT

Never, Ever open the Silent Blow Off by mistake

Blowing steam at 180psi into a metal box ISNT silent

I nearly needed to change my underwear

And if you’re not a teacher but work in a school it’s just as important you join a Union!

our new HT wanted all support staff in a union just in case there was a students staff issue. I ended up having them in to resolve an issue with her.

If you ever go to Bath Thermae Spa, do not place your swim bag on the bench seat. There is a lever there that is pressure activated and opens the doors to both sides of the changing room at once!

When you renew your car insurance, always check to see that the direct debit has gone through and that they have actually been taking payments. My insurance agency cocked up, forgot to renew and i eas left driving around uninsured for almost a year. It only came to light after my car had been broken into and i had successfully claimed on my non existent insurance. The company then tried to take me to court for their mistakes by claiming that i should have checked my bank account.

Similarly always check for confirmation emails following online orders.

When swimming in the same lane as your husband and you decide to tickle his bollocks as he swims past you, make sure that he's not switched lanes and that someone else hasn't joined your lane instead!