What's your cautionary tale?

[BrightInMyNorthernSky]

Having just got through the most stressful week ever due to a nightmare situation of my own making, I thought I would share a previous and current cautionary tale.

1. Always remember to change the address on your V5 and not just your license. I didn't. DH got caught speeding twice on the same day on the same stretch of road (33 in a 30) in my car. Both fines went to old address. Didn't answer them, obvs. The whole sorry mess played out without me being aware and by the time it all caught up with me it was had been banned from driving for six months and fined £2k - five months earlier! So had been driving while banned for five months!!!

Me too. Genuinely useful advice. Thank you (MOT renewal reminder service)

Don't think it only happens to other people.. Overnight it can happen to you

Oh that's a really funny one! How long ago was it? Hopefully one day you will look back and laugh.

It was a question from @MaidOfBondStreet about leaving her house to her children in her will (since a pp had warned about re-marrying if you have assets which you want to go to your children).

@TheaBrandt warned that her husband-to-be could challenge the will. @Feelsodrained said that co-habitees can claim too.

You pointed out that co-habitees can't claim on divorce. @Feelsodrained is confirming that co-habitees don't have a claim on divorce but are likely to be successful when challenging the will (although likely to be awarded less than a spouse would be).

I don't know about the legalities, but that's what I understood from the exchange!

If on the third occasion of the lock smith coming out - when he suggests breaking a window round the back - make sure its your house you break the window and access...

If your labour is induced don’t try and be a hero and do without an epidural ( unless maybe you are progressing fast). I tried and 15 hours later begged for one.

Is this just to make it easier when applying for emergency travel documentation if passport is lost - or have you / someone you know actually been allowed to travel on this ?

My cautionary tale is to keep hold of your passport at all times when moving through the airport - particularly don't put one of the black cover ones face down in the security trays (this was DH and not me but it caused a whole lot of inconvenience and expense).

Don't tell toddlers not to do this if they haven't already thought of it. It puts ideas in their heads.

Also beware of cheap home insurance especially if it’s sold by Covea and underwritten by Simply Business. They will find a clause on page 22 of their schedule which means you’re not covered for whatever calamity happened to your property.

And with perfect timing, in the news we have... https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cg33rnx0792o

When someone tells you your new boss is an arsehole. Believe them

Would that be just if it was an opened bottle you had drunk from ? Would an unopened one be OK?
Must admit I do this all the time .

I’m sorry, I’m sure this was very messy, but I couldn’t help laughing 😊

Don't put anything in a work related email that you would not be happy to have read out before a judge in open court.

Thank you!

"...break your employment contract by leaving before the end of your notice period"

I had quite a different experience. I used to work for a division of a very large bank. It had been the normal thing that when anybody gave their notice that they were out of the building before the end of the day (this was around 20-25 years ago).

The bank didn't want somebody who was walking out the door in a few weeks time taking anything with them.

But then they brought in a number of Americans (from Texas I think?) to head up that division, and these guys had very different views. For example, there was one woman who was on long term sick leave and they just tried to get rid of her straight away. HR had to tell them about the actual laws here in the UK.

With myself, when I handed in my notice under the new American regime, I was informed that they would graciously "allow" me to leave immediately but that "of course" no payment in lieu would be made.

I then replied that, in that case, I was quite happy to work out my contractual month's notice (with full access to all the bank systems and data - I didn't say that part out loud of course, but that is the reason why everybody was usually given a month's pay in lieu).

After having given that response to the new American Director's PA, it was only about ten or fifteen minutes later that she came back with a note saying that I would be paid my salary in lieu of having to work my month's notice. That was quite satisfying - standing up to very overbearing Americans - I couldn't really believe that they had agreed so readily.

"...I was definitely on a four week notice. I wasn't, it was three months."

Many, many, many years ago, I used to work for Sodastream. They wanted to change all the contracts at one point and also warned about redundancies. One of the main changes that I recall they wanted was that the notice period was changed from one month to three. Quite a number of people left at this point (including myself), I remember the Finance Director asking me why I hadn't signed the new contract. I remember that I was just stalling him, as I also wanted to leave the company and didn't want to mess around with 3 months notice.

It was a good job that I did leave then as there is no longer a Sodastream office or factory in the UK.

Ditto if you forget to pick up the cans in the rear footwell, it rolls under your seat and then explodes when you push your front seat back to vacuum the front footwell and it catches on the seat mechanism. It took me a (sticky) while to work out what was going on.

I had a cautionary tale. When I go on cruise, I dont book the flights via travelagents or with the cruise company, i tend to go direct with the flight company. Last year I had a flight booked to LA for a cruise starting the following day. The plan was to go around 11am and get there by tea time so we could stay the night in a hotel there. Come 6am we turned up at the airport, and flight was cancelled due to strikes at the terminal. Because we booked with the flight company they sorted us out free of charge to a later flight which took us to san francisco and a onward flight to LA. People had turned up, but the flight company could not do anything because they had booked a package deal. So they had to wait until 9am until the travel agent/cruise company opened up the phone lines and some missed getting an alternative. For cruises I always book separate. If its like hotel and flight i would book direct like TUI or Jet2, but when you have a ship thats going to not wait for you, we have found booking the flight separate the best.

Make a will

In a similar vein, retire from work when you are comfortable, have a reasonable pension and still have a good amount of life left. Don't feel you have to work to 65 or whenever just because it is "expected" or because you want to max out your income for a retirement that may never come.
My dad died at 70, of cancer. He had limited quality of life from about 67 onwards. I'm sure he would have retired long before 60 if he had known.

Believe your toddler when she says she’s going to play with her poo……..

Good summary Nordic! A cohabitee being supported by the deceased falls into the category of people who can challenge a will but it’s likely to be an expensive and stressful process so best to avoid being in that position at all if possible. The claim by a spouse is a far stronger claim. But litigation is expensive and horrible so far better to take advice and get your wills right!

it’s perfectly possible to protect spouse or partner whilst ensuring your own children inherit.

Never grab a can of hair spray thinking it's deodorant esp when you're already late for work 😫

Don't go to a hen night if you're not mates with the hen. You've no idea what her idea of a good night out is and there's every chance it won't be yours...and you won't be able to get away...

Don’t get into debt to pay for your wedding.

Don’t treat your single friends like shit and tell them you aren’t inviting them to things because they’re not in a couple and then act all pally when you get divorced and are single yourself.

Remember that success is never final - stay humble.