What’s up with the ‘out and about’ brigade?

[Nayouknow]

You know the ones. ‘I like to be out and about’ brigade. The ‘I’d be climbing the walls if I didn’t leave the house every day’ crew. The people who view time spent in their homes to be ‘wasted’ and time spent outside it to somehow automatically be more rewarding/interesting/energising/virtuous/insert positive.

I’ve only really come across this sort of mentality on MN and I find it fascinating. What’s their deal? Do they not like their homes? Do they have no indoor pursuits that they enjoy enough to be occupied for one day? Is it the actual outside air (not to be confused with the air in their gardens, as those of them who have gardens are generally very clear that hanging out in the garden isn’t sufficient)? Are they hardcore extroverts?

Like everyone else I know, I like to go out and I like to stay in. Walks are nice. Activities are nice. Spending a weekend at home cooking/reading/watching box sets/playing with DS is also nice. Based on their comments, the aforementioned crew would consider the latter a ‘wasted weekend’.

I agree. I like having some stuff planned but I also like to have times where there is absolutely nothing going on.

Partner is 'out and about' where as I love being at home. She's just left for the US this morning for a week and I'm sandwiched between the 1 and 4 year old, watching 'Simon the Bunny' at 11am. It's bliss 😅 will take them out in the sunshine now but it's been amazing not to have been badgered at 8am on Sunday to be out for the sake of 'not wasting a day'! The kids have nursery/school/wraparound care/clubs etc from 7:45-6pm daily so weekend they are knackered and just want to veg out!

We “draw” our energy from food.

Some people like going out, some people like staying at home.

Drawing energy from being around other people is literally the definition of extroversion.

People who do both in/out aren’t what’s being discussed here, as explained in the OP. There are people on this very thread who say they can’t stay home at all, ever. That they’d lose their minds. That’s the sort of attitude being addressed.

People have said those words, about themselves, on this very thread. Tell them it’s need less hyperbole.

We think these things because people literally say them.

Of course you can get energy from things other than food, what a bizarre statement

So the people being discussed are literally out of their home every single weekend for every waking minute? I think those people are few and far between

When does ‘out and about’ mean we are all drawing energy from other people? There are other things to do outside that don’t involve anyone else

Sounds like you don't like 'partner' much

There’s nothing ‘up’ with the out and about brigade, just like there’s nothing ‘up’ with the stay home and relax brigade. People are different - it’s not that hard to understand?

I don’t like being home at the weekend. I love our house but spend enough time there in the evenings after the kids are in bed. I prefer to have plans and things to do, preferably outside. Beach, park, skate park, forest. We don’t live in the UK and there are lots of options that are free and generally not too busy. The kids sleep better after a day of fresh air, and so do my husband and I. I don’t judge anyone for staying home all day, but it’s just not for me.

I’ve always felt I wanted to get out at least once a day, but would be content with a dog walk/ nip to shops maybe grab a cuppa whilst there type of ‘out’. I’ve never considered myself someone who always likes to be busy or is particularly active, pre-DD I’d have been more than happy to spend the majority of the weekend reading, watching tv, cooking etc - but I would definitely need to leave the house at least once.

Since having DD and also since lockdown which was the same time, I‘ve tended to pack our days as full as possible. As others have mentioned, I find parenting 100 times easier out of the house. She has never been good at independent play (and yes I agree that perhaps I’ve never let her develop the skill having always kept us so busy) and she’s so full of energy being out and about is just better. Plus motherhood can sometimes be a bit isolating, particularly as I switched to wfh as well, so yes I want to be out.

I genuinely was surprised by the thread where the poster just wanted to spend pretty much every weekend at home, that really is alien to me - but not in a judgey way, if that’s your thing and your kids are happy then great.

Having said that, I’ve noticed DD starting to say she wants to stay home more now. She’s nearly 4, at school nursery and I think she just needs more downtime than we’ve been giving her. She used to be the first to demand ‘where are we going today’ the second she opened her eyes. Now it’s more wanting to stay Last week was bank holiday Monday but we didn’t have major plans so just stayed at home (though a friend did come for a play date) then I was off with her the Tuesday and we stayed in too - it was fine but I found it bloody hard work, had used up all my ‘baking, make our own playdough do some crafts’ plans by lunchtime and was tearing my hair out a bit but she was insistent she just wanted to stay at home. This week we’re on holiday and even here we’re finding she wants to go to the pool/ potter around the caravan site/ play with her toys in the caravan and when we say we’re going to the beach or the fair or the farm park she’s less than enthusiastic. We will do a bit of both I think.

I have no problem at all with people wanting to be ‘out and about’ all the time, but I do have a problem with the ones who get sniffy and judgemental about anyone who doesn’t go out every day and who assume that staying in means ‘mindlessly scrolling on screens’ as Mumsnet likes to say.

I quite often see people on here sternly telling other mothers that they MUST take their children out every single day and implying that they’re lazy and slobby if they don’t. It’s absolute bollocks. A day spent amusing yourselves at home is absolutely fine.

@LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway how do you get to the nature reserve?
Is it walking distance?
Or will you be driving?

Have you studied biology at all? Our energy derives from food and liquids.

If I stay in too much I go stir crazy and need to go out, if I'm out too much I need to spend time at home to relax.

I don't find being up and out virtuous but those people do exist. I feel a balance is very much necessary, if I'm up and out early it's because its a necessary evil.

Of course you can get energy from things other than food, what a bizarre statement

That depends on your definition of energy. In a literal sense, no you can't. Mental 'energy' or a desire to do things isn't actual energy, it's psychological.

I like to get out but there is so much to do at home I like to be in too.
Couldn't have a holiday sitting by the pool, need to be doing activities.

I live alone and love my house and garden and have spent time and money on both.

Mon-Thurs it's work, then gym or a walk, then dinner, clean up etc, Fri after work it's the weekly grocery shop and a walk. Sat morning it's a walk and I might get home and not leave the house again until Mon morning.

The weather is lovely here but due to get cloudy again, so I spent yesterday chilling in the garden and getting through a week's worth of laundry. Living alone means it takes time to build up a load so yesterday was whites, colours and towels, 3 washes done and dried outside. I slept til 11 today, have the bed linen in the wash now. I might go for a walk later if I'm in the mood.

I have weekends where I meet up with family or friends, but I always make sure I have weekends just for me too. Going out for the sake of going out isn't for me, not a hope you'll find me stuck in traffic at the weekend to walk around the shops etc, but I might go for a walk in a forest.

Most of my friends are the out and abouters, they prefer to be busy, but each to their own.

Can’t be that bizarre if over 60% agree with it.

All of you going on about ‘amazing experiences’ and ‘living life’…you’re going for a walk or to the park, not traversing the Andes. Cop onto yourself. 😆

Sorry but life is for living and I don’t want it to pass me by and find myself an old lady with not much to show for my years. I want experiences

Its this attitude that pisses me off!

Yes it’s enraging! lovely weather, and I could be trudging round my large local park and wild area, but I am choosing to do some sorting of my overstuffed wardrobe, amassing a charity shop pile instead. Very satisfying!

Not everyone who enjoys being at home spends their days watching TV, I only watch it in the evening of at all.

I certainly don't entertain myself with pedantic arguments about where we derive energy from! 😂

I'm with you on having a good clear out, too much stuff is draining and makes deciding what to wear so much more difficult.

No, some of us are introverts but have ADHD and would be climbing the walls if we had to stay inside our house all day.

I admire those who are out and about a lot.
I like both. There's nothing better for me to relax at home after being out and about.
I have a homebody husband and I really wish he enjoyed going out as much as I do.
He thinks mowing the lawn is enough outdoors time. It's depressing to me and feels I don't like my world being so "small".

What’s their deal? Do they not like their homes? Do they have no indoor pursuits that they enjoy enough to be occupied for one day? Is it the actual outside air (not to be confused with the air in their gardens, as those of them who have gardens are generally very clear that hanging out in the garden isn’t sufficient)? Are they hardcore extroverts?

Did you stop reading there? It was listed as one of multiple possible explanations. All of which ended in a question mark. So, a series of questions. Nobody has said ‘if you like going out, then you hate where you live’.

So 'psychological' energy is not energy? Mmm