What’s up with the ‘out and about’ brigade?

[Nayouknow]

You know the ones. ‘I like to be out and about’ brigade. The ‘I’d be climbing the walls if I didn’t leave the house every day’ crew. The people who view time spent in their homes to be ‘wasted’ and time spent outside it to somehow automatically be more rewarding/interesting/energising/virtuous/insert positive.

I’ve only really come across this sort of mentality on MN and I find it fascinating. What’s their deal? Do they not like their homes? Do they have no indoor pursuits that they enjoy enough to be occupied for one day? Is it the actual outside air (not to be confused with the air in their gardens, as those of them who have gardens are generally very clear that hanging out in the garden isn’t sufficient)? Are they hardcore extroverts?

Like everyone else I know, I like to go out and I like to stay in. Walks are nice. Activities are nice. Spending a weekend at home cooking/reading/watching box sets/playing with DS is also nice. Based on their comments, the aforementioned crew would consider the latter a ‘wasted weekend’.

I WFH most days (1 day at week at the office) on a busy day I don't get chance for a proper lunch break and can go a bit stir crazy. I also have 2 DS's who have lots of energy and will pull every toy out in the space of an hour. It is far easier to let them burn off beans where they can properly run. Our garden isn't great for kids we have made it as safe as possible but can't change the topography of it!

I also find covid lockdowns and multiple 2 week isolations (DS1 went to nursery key workers) had a big impact of how I feel being at home now.

I stayed in all day yesterday, but this is very rare. Usually our weekends are pretty full of activities for us and the kids. We’re renovating our house at the moment so a day in sat on the sofa would definitely be a wasted day here.

I’m part of the out and about crew 🙋🏻‍♀️ me and DH always liked to be out of the house, sometimes with no planned activities at all, just go for a really long walk or run, discover a new nice place to grab a coffee, a new park etc. I don’t think it’s an introvert/extrovert thing: I personally love to be out by myself too.

Now we have a toddler that is like us! If we take a little bit longer to leave the house in the morning he is already at the door holding his shoes and coat. Not sure if it’s age or personality related but he seems to prefer activities outside and he definitely needs the physical aspect of it. As someone said above, people are different and recharge differently.

This is my inlaws, to be more specific, my MiL. She’s always been like this and will never change as they’re retired and nearly 80.

Ugh! My sister actually told me I should think about therapy because I don’t like ‘going out’. I’m retired, play golf 3-4 times a week, walk the dog every day. I’m very sociable when I want to be but nothing horrifies me more than the thought of dealing with crowds whether in shops or generally out and about. We live in a touristy area so I avoid it at all costs especially during tourist season. Apart from golf and dog walking I’m very content pottering in my own house and garden. I have plenty to do. I don’t know why some people think there’s something wrong with you and get all smug and morally superior when you just enjoy being home!

@bumblingbovine49

why on earth would you feel guilty?! They are adults, they can make their own food

No-one, not me or the OP, are talking about someone liking to go out equating to hating where they live.

Oh dear. At least look at the opening post.

What’s their deal? Do they not like their homes?

I will own up to not liking my home. Its all I can afford right now and too crowded as adult DC can't afford to move out in London either. On the plus side, I am close to galleries, museums and exhibition, all of which I enjoy. Off now to a heritage site and a walk by the river. I will watch a box set in the evening.

Completely agree. Love a pottering weekend, but we love our home and garden.
@RomanRoysSearchHistory 🤣

Some people live alone and/or are bereaved and need company or activity for mental health.
Others live in poor quality rented housing and don’t have the luxury of “liking their own home” as you put it so incredulously.
Others might be in abusive or unhappy relationships with no means or will to leave.
Some have tricky children, or children’s other SEN who only thrive with activity.
Many have no space in their homes to “potter”, no garden in which to sit and relax.
Many more have such turbulent lives, such threadbare existence, love so precariously close to not being able to pay bills that they need distraction and any small form of pleasure they can get.

the rest just have a different personality to yours.

I find it so hard to be at home, it really does feel like wasted time to me but I’m not really sure why. I absolutely hate my house (tiny, dated HA property) so being in it doesn’t make me feel relaxed but because we are never at home it’s hard to keep it tidy which doesn’t really help.

I love being outside, going for walks or running on my own or can spend a whole day exploring with my kids or going to the beach and we generally go out to do something both days at the weekend. If we are still home by 2pm I start to feel a bit stir crazy! Conversely I absolutely hate doing structured or indoor things with my kids, shopping, theme parks, soft play or any kind of organised activity is absolute hell to me as well so I’d probably rather stay at home if the going out option was something like that (I do take the kids to things like that I just don’t enjoy it much)

I have to get out each day.Everything piles on top of me otherwise .At the moment Im unwell and under going Chemo.Even a drive or shortish stroll as worse than normal!

DH is an out and abouter. He gets very restless, irritable and snappy when he hasn’t been out yet. It’s just the way he is. He sees time sat at home as wasted. He could never work in an indoor job, it would drive him mad.

I have terrible insomnia so if I go out and do loads of stuff I have a much better chance at sleeping. I also have two children with the wildest amount of energy - they need to be outside or they are unbearable! I don’t really see that it matters either way, as long as what you do makes you happy. I also ask people what they’re doing at the weekend just to make chat - if they say staying in and watching films, I don’t judge them, that’s entirely up to them.

Not read the whole thread but I think a lot of people get filled with existential dread if left too much to their own devices, with too much unfilled time. Everything in life (including MN) is designed as one big distraction, to keep us from confronting our impending mortality, so it's just that really.

Am just on my way out and DS and DH are both lounging about on their phones. So infuriating! But after I read this thread, I will keep mum and stop telling them how lovely the day is.😁

Sorry but life is for living and I don’t want it to pass me by and find myself an old lady with not much to show for my years. I want experiences

Its this attitude that pisses me off!

Who is to say what “living life” actually is? If I go for a walk round my local park alone or high street, how is that “living” any more than me being at home working on a craft project or reading in my garden? In both scenarios I am alone. Yes I’d get more exercise from the first option but I’d enjoy it less. Isn’t “living life” actually about spending it doing things you enjoy?

I don’t have unlimited funds. I don’t have a partner or lots of people to do things with. So I am selective about what I do outside the house. I have a lovely home and garden and it brings me pleasure to enjoy them. It’s not time wasted for me. I prefer to save my money to take trips where I can do interesting things. But that means financially it is better for me to stay at home at other times. Yes you can go out without spending much money but unless I want to stay in my local area, which is not interesting, it’s still going to cost something.

My sister always has to be out. Last time I visited her she dragged me to a local classic car show. She doesn’t like classic cars, nor do I. She just wanted to be out and that was on locally. It was boring AF! Another time we just did circuits round the park for ages. One evening we got a drive thru McDonald’s and sat in her car in the lashing rain. All because she can’t bear to be in the house. It’s exhausting and not in the least bit fun. I’m glad I’m not like that tbh. Is she “living life” more than me? No I don’t think she is. I have fun by myself at home! She is depressed most of the time.

If you don't have a partner or friends you can do things on your own. I do.

I fall into this bracket but I wouldn’t call myself an extrovert. If I’m in the house all day I feel hemmed in and as if I’m ill, for some reason.

I don’t need to do anything exciting though - a walk is enough.

Edit - I should add that I do like my house!

As do I. I’m saving money to go to Japan alone later this year. But my point is, I see no need to be out doing “something” just for the sake of it. Whether that’s alone or with company.

I think it depends on the situation. We have a small house and small garden with 2 children. We live minutes away from a large country park so it makes sense to get out when we can to give the kids a run and some fresh air. If it was just me I'd sit happily in the garden with a book.

I don’t think that means they are extroverts at all. Some people just like to get exercise and have some variety in their week. Many people wfh so just want time outside.

Those who are ‘out and about’ are also doing the things you mentioned at home. My hobbies are mostly outdoor physical activities but I’ll still read a book when I’m home in the evening, I still cook and enjoy home life. Depends how much variety you want I guess

I'm definitely not extroverted and love some time at home crafting or doomscrolling but if I'm in all day it affects my MH. Even just getting out in the garden for a bit really helps so I do like to get out too

One more thing I think - I feel like I can't fully relax if I am at home with the DCs as I feel like anything I do would always be interrupted and it puts me on edge.

Maybe you have too much time at home.. to be worrying about what everyone else is doing out and about. I’m not sure why you’re bothered and I don’t agree that everyone is extrovert because they go for a bike ride or for coffee at the weekend 😅