I'm 1/4 each of: England, France, Iran, Barbados. I'm fortunate that through pot luck genetics I was viewed as very attractive and this fickle reason meant I wasn't bullied like the other mixed race people I knew were, but still remember very clearly my cousin, aged just 9 telling me "imagine if you were white, then allllll the boys would fancy you"
If only I had a pound for every exchange that went:
"Where are you from?"
Norfolk
"No, but like where are you from "
Um... still Norfolk, I don't really know what to tell you
"Greek?"
Sorry, what?
"Greek, yeah? No, wait... Egyptian?"
What me? No...
"Spain? Portugal?... Wait! Got it!! Brazil?"
Please stop naming countries at me.
"Sorry, but you're just so....exotic?"
Exotic?
"Oh, no, I didn't mean in a bad way. Am I right though? Brazil?"
In one night out, I was told, by entirely separate men, (via shit chat up lines) that has anyone ever told me I look just like:
Kelly Brook. Beyonce. Melanie Sykes. Samantha Mumba. Shilpa Shetty
Because brown. All look identical really. My friends were in hysterics about it though. I laughed along "yeah, Shilpa Shetty and Samantha Mumba, how stupid are these guys" but inside, it hurts. Just another non descript brown girl. If you're not white, then you basically fall into the rest of the world category. "General brown."
I have twins. One olive skin, dark eyes like me. One whiter than snow, blue/green eyes (courtesy of DH) and you can see the village idiots cogs turning as both children call me mummy.
I don't fit in. Our very naice area, the white yummy mummy crew look at me suspiciously. And I'm not evidently black enough for the black mums at school, who honestly seem to have the best friendship group and I'd love to be part of. They smile at me and make small talk, but I can tell they don't see me as the same. Everyone is polite, but I just don't slot instantly into a group like others seem too.
And I do get how people think mixed race people unnecessarily gravitate towards their black heritage - it's not that you are disregarding any of your genetics that is white, but white society tends to see white, and then any tiny hint of anything else, as non white. So you're either fully white, or you're not at all, so to speak. So you kind of completely discount yourself as white. The problem then, as others are pointing out too, arises when you aren't black enough to be seen as black, so you float in this no man's land.
It's strange when I sit and wonder what my daughter's life will be like. If she'll find it so much easier than her brother because she's visibly white.